


Rhythm And Blues

by GASPEN



Category: Original Work
Genre: AU, Albino, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angry Sex, Bitchy Albinos, Divorce, Elves, Fallen Angels, Implied Mpreg, M/M, Mpreg, OC's - Freeform, Original Characters - Freeform, Police, Prostitution, Relationship Problems, Sex, Supernatural - Freeform, Swearing, Vampires, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2015-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 64,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1912695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GASPEN/pseuds/GASPEN
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin Ravine has had a lot of fallouts in the last 6 years. </p><p>His husband divorced him and has custody over all 7 of their kids. He's chest deep in child support and can hardly fend for himself. Yet, through it all, he still works overtime and finds time to visit his ex to make sure they have everything. </p><p>He's the poster child for fathers trying to stay in their children's lives and is desperately still in love with his ex. This would all be fine and dandy except Aspen doesn't want his help and he most definitely doesn't want his love. He doesn't even want to see him on his scheduled visit day!</p><p>Though it's unfair, Gavin's compelled to allow Aspen to have his space even though his heart screams otherwise. But when things start to fall down the drain further, and the claws of survival come out, can the vampire cop really just stand by and watch?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Friday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vampire cops and bitchy albinos.

The city of Chicago was known for its bustling traffic, Navy Pier, and its history of organized crime. And it was that crime that kept Officer Gavin Ravine in the job market and busy at all hours of the day. 

Gavin was a tall, broad, and handsome officer of the Chicago Police department for a respectable 25 years. He had seen it all and had done just about all of it, switching from homicide to drugs to the everyday patrol. He was good at what he did, with a natural inclination to do right. 

He was also a vampire.

Today’s society had come to accept the appearance of “supernatural” beings, and, for the most part, they blended in seamlessly with the rest of humanity. They occupied all parts of everyday life and the job market. Most chose to remain separate factions for certain reasons, be it practicality or religion, but those who did assimilate were welcomed.

It had been a tense few decades for the first outspoken magical creatures, people unable to grow accustomed to the idea of being neighbors with a blood sucker or elf. Yet, the race wars in America had simmered down quite easily once everyone was able to conform to the regulations that were required of new creatures at the time. Special stamps on licenses and such allowed people to identify each other and once it became routine telling the difference between a regular person and a vampire became non important or seeing an elf walking a dog was mundane. It was just another part of the culture. 

However, Gavin could attest to the new problems that came with the introduction of new species. He had helped raid the blood market, run by vampire covens and other factions of creatures that dealt in the life liquid. Homicide rates spiked, the demand to feed creatures who needed blood more important than collecting blood for transfusions in hospitals. In turn, violence and gang relations soured, rival parties of naturally rival species clashing in neighborhoods and causing unneeded bloodshed. Even the drug trade had been affected. Elves, fallen angels and fae used their magic to make new uppers to bring never before seen highs to the country’s populations. 

In some ways it was a mess. In others, it was the beginning to a new chapter. Gavin knew there was no way to change the past, so he stayed with his job and tried to right any wrongs and soothe angered people so that neighborhoods and communities would sleep a little easier at night. It felt good knowing you had helped.

Currently, Gavin was on his way to the north side of the city. His shift had ended and after grabbing a late lunch with a coworker to discuss the day’s work and cases he had decided he had better head up before it got too dark. Not that he was biased towards the dark, but it would be more convenient if he just went while it was light. Going late would mean traffic and he was already tired. His exact reason for the trip was that Gavin would be paying a visit to someone who he held dear, but the same wasn’t said for the opposite side.

The man pushed his hand through his wavy hair as he drove down the free way, the scenery changing from the waterfront of Lake Shore drive and glamorous apartments of downtown to the more modest accommodations of much of the city’s population as the minutes ticked by. The drive wasn’t long when it wasn’t rush hour and soon Gavin was looking for parking in a residential area, surveying the scene as he did so.

The neighborhood wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t exactly a gated one either. The northside was pretty clean, but it had it’s fair share of crime and other matters. It was no where near as bad as the southside, but it was still somewhere where you needed to watch your back depending on where you were. He eyed some of the suspicious members on the street corners, the men giving him slow head nods that said they’d probably try to start shit if he went up to them. 

Gavin kept driving.

The vampire put his car in a spot near the end of the street, getting out and locking it once he was on the curb. He stepped up onto the crappy, stomped on grass of the sidewalk and looked up at the homely apartment complex in front of him, hands on his hips and heaving a sigh as the summer heat sweltered.

The bricks were a dusty brown, cracking in some places. There was a fountain in the courtyard, but instead of being filled with water it was holding hundreds of cigarette butts, empty soda cans, and plastic bags from the convenience store around the corner. It’s bowl was chipped and any metal that was shown was rusted from exposure. Weeds choked the walkway, sprouting up between the dents and chips in the cement. There was a fence around the property, but it wasn’t locked and the paint on the steel had long since started to degrade. It was rusty and creaked when Gavin pushed the gate open to get inside. In a nearby open window, a neighbor’s dog barked in reaction to the noise.

In all, the place was a dump. Even the flower beds that ran along the sides of the courtyard were bare, weeds and dog shit the only things to occupy the space. The vampire wrinkled his nose as he walked by, the summer heat making the smell a bit less tolerable. It made his stomach churn and he was somewhat glad when he was able to enter the lobby, only to be disappointed when the sweltering heat intensified in the glass box. 

Gavin fanned himself, finger searching out the call button below the mailboxes. The one he pressed was labeled Denmark, the lettering on the paper that was tapped to the mental box scratchy and faded from sunlight. He eyed it for a moment, having memorized it dozens of times before but for some reason he could never stop himself from looking at it. Nor could he stop the slight pain in his chest that followed shortly after his examination.

_“Hello?”_

Snapped from his thoughts, Gavin stared at the intercom where the grainy voice had come from. He swallowed thickly, then quickly pressed the talk button and leaned in. “It’s me.”

There was a pause. _“Oh… Just a second.”_

Gavin obediently did as told, letting go of the button. Soon the door buzzed and he grabbed the knob, having to fight with the door to get it to open. Once he had it, he ascended the cramped staircase and was treated to the wonderful experience of smelling all the unique odors of each floor. Anyone who lived in an apartment could attest that that was the worst part about the place. Some scents were tolerable, but others were overwhelming to his sensitive nose and some were just insults to his profession. Gavin was pretty sure that the 3rd floor was home to at least one weed smoker, if the skunk smell was any inclination. He shook his head and continued on. 

He wasn’t on duty.

The vampire stopped at the 5th floor, legs burning from the trek, and walked down the hall until he came to the door with the number 36 nailed to its surface. He took a deep breath, steeling himself, and then knocked. 

Then he waited.

Gavin would never admit it out loud but every time he ventured to the complex he was never quite sure if he would get past the numbers. The person on the other side was picky, their relationship less than stellar. If anything… he would label it as tolerable at least. But that was it. Nothing more. It made his stomach knot up tight and sometimes he wondered if he was going to throw up. The heat made it worse and he ignored the itch a bead of sweat created on his back as it dripped down between his shoulder blades.

He heard the chain on the other side of the door being moved over and he exhaled a breathe he didn’t know he had been holding. Looked like he might be getting in after all.

Gavin patiently endured the ritual of unlocking the door. He knew there was a chain and at least three other types of locks, all of which had to be undone. He stood there and when the door opened he glanced down and offered a small smile to the person who resided there.

“Hello Aspen.”

Aspen Denmark; he was a short man of about 5’3, all lean muscle, a bitchy attitude, and true albino features. His skin was a pale color and his eyes were red. His hair was a silvery white and framed his face in delicate bangs that went past his ears but was currently tied back into a small ponytail thanks to the heat. His manicured brows crinkled up and his lip curled slightly in distaste when he spotted the cop. Gavin could see the sweat dotting is upper lip and forehead.

While Gavin was masculine, chiseled jaw and all, Aspen was quite the opposite, with features that bordered on feminine. Aspen’s lashes were long, his lips full, and his face handsomely delicate. His build confused people from behind, particularly because he was packing in the booty area and had wide hips and thick thighs to add to it. His waist was naturally accentuated and the rest of him was thin and elegant. All of it Gavin was familiar with and had helped to create. It was also why he was subject to visiting every Friday.

Aspen eyed him up and down, the dislike growing on his face. He was leaning on his doorframe, as though he intended to make the visit as short as possible, but after his quick evaluation he sneered, seeing that wouldn’t be the case. 

“I guess you didn’t come to just chat. Lucky me.” Aspen rolled his eyes.

Gavin cleared his throat, hands behind his back. “I would like to come in for a bit, if at all possible.” He paused. “…Are the kids home?”

The response he got was covered with venom. “Damon’s visiting a friend. Natalie, Falco, Elizabeta, and the triplets are with William and Tat. So, no, they aren’t home. Sorry, not sorry.” 

The kids were exactly that; their children. To add to his already complex biology, Aspen had been gifted with a partial female reproductive system which had been a blessing and a curse. It had allowed the couple to have 7 children when they had been together but it had also caused Gavin to be in over his head in child support. A cop’s pay couldn’t cover 7 children, and even if he wasn’t legally paying money from his check for all 7 of his kids, it still didn’t stretch enough to cover the costs of food, diapers, and clothes for the ones he was paying for.

When he had first known Aspen, Gavin had been head over heels in love. He had spotted the albino at a bar and at the time he had been kind of down in the dumps about his career. Homicide fucked with your mind and on that day he had just been assigned a particularly disturbing case involving young girls being dismembered and stuffed in vats of acid to get rid of the evidence. Long story short, he had needed a vent and Aspen was trashed like him. They had stumbled to the back bathroom and managed to do some semblance of a messy fuck within a short window. Gavin supposed he had done something right in those ten minutes because the albino had drunkenly given him his phone number and had playfully told him to call him when they were sober. He had and soon after their first sober meeting the two were dating and connected at the hip.

Gavin felt on top of the world and Aspen had proven to be everything he had desired in a partner. He was sweet, caring, needy in a way that Gavin wanted to be needed, and gorgeous. Some would have said differently but Gavin didn’t care. To him Aspen was all he ever wanted and more and he had claimed him as a mate long before they got married. He felt like he couldn’t let Aspen go and the albino himself said Gavin was the only one for him. His other partnerships had failed miserably and he trusted Gavin would be the one forever.

When they got married a year after that escapade in the bathroom, life had been great. Aspen had a decent job working at a call center and Gavin was still in homicide but the pay was good and they were able to live comfortably. So comfortably in fact that Aspen had gotten pregnant. After some freaking out, the couple had settled and within nine months they had a beautiful blonde haired and blue eyed baby boy to call their own. They had 2 more kids after Damon, a boy and a girl, and their birth marked when things had started to decline. 

Though he knew the protection force wasn’t regular Aspen was steadily growing irritated with the fact that Gavin worked all the time at all hours of the day or night. They hardly had time to spend together and making ends meet was getting difficult. Aspen had tried to work from home, but taking care of a 2 year old and two babies was too much to handle. Gavin had heeded the complaints, but at the time money had been more important. He wanted his family to be comfortable. He remembered having a long conversation with his mate about it and they had agreed that personal time might be rare, but whatever they did have would be decent. 

That seemed to stifle the issues for the moment and Gavin got a part time job. They put the kids into a preschool program and Aspen found he was able to work too with this combination, until he got knocked up again. They welcomed their 4th child in their 4th year of marriage; confident things would continue to work out as they seemed to be. It was when the triplets were born that the relationship that had been teetering on the edge finally fell off entirely.

Aspen couldn’t take the loneliness in the relationship. He loved his kids, but Gavin was never around to love or support him emotionally like a husband was supposed to. He had said that they only time Gavin ever wanted to do anything had been early in the morning and that had been after he had showered and such for work. In short, Aspen felt like he was just a quick bang before duty called and had slapped Gavin with divorce papers two months after the triplets had come into the world. His claim was that he and the kids were emotionally starved and Gavin was an inept partner and father.

It was asinine, but Aspen had argued his case extremely well. He had gotten his divorce, despite how crazy it was, and custody of the kids. Gavin hadn’t been able to attest to that, since he didn’t have any family to help him out and his job was erratic. There was also no guarantee that he’d come home every night either. It was better they were with Aspen, who had managed to convince the judge that he could support his kids with his job and help from his grandfather, who was planning on giving him assistance. He also had family in the area who could help watch the kids so that Aspen could work. He could also get state assistance easily. Though the whole thing was flawed, and DCFS should have been called, Aspen won his way. He changed his name back to Denmark as a final snub to Gavin and a statement that he had failed their marriage and moved out to the current complex. 

All of that had happened 2 years ago and every Friday Gavin showed up to check up on his kids and every other Friday he came with money in hand to shell out to the albino. It was tough sometimes, with some visits ending in shouting matches, but despite it all Gavin still cared deeply for his mate. Even though they were divorced, they were still paired, and his desire to make sure they had everything drove him to sleepless nights and countless hours of overtime. 

The more he thought about it, the more Gavin was confused on how being divorced was supposed to help ease Aspen’s loneliness, but he never thought too hard about it. Thinking about the divorce was painful, even if it had happened a long time ago.

The vampire frowned slightly as he was told the kids were gone and he rubbed the back of his neck. “I suppose you wouldn’t want to sit and talk for a bit, would you?” he asked. He had come to see his kids, but he also wanted to talk to his mate, Aspen incredibly determined to leave him behind.

The albino rolled his ruby red eyes again, obviously annoyed with Gavin’s very presence. His patience was short these days, the vampire had noticed, but he didn’t ask why. Any prying got him nothing but hissing and a door slammed in his face. 

“I’m trying to take a nap,” Aspen began, angrily glaring at his ex, yet he jerked the door open forcefully. “But since you’re so determined you may as well come in. Not like I have anything to do, but whatever.”

The albino abandoned his spot at the door, allowing Gavin entrance into his little apartment. It was cramped, to say the least. Even though it was a two bedroom the kids took up both of them and Aspen was left to sleep on the pull out couch in the livingroom, which had been unfolded as proof that the albino had been intending to sleep. The sheets on the pullout were plain, but tussled. They looked like they might need a wash. The ceiling fan was on full blast and it’s clicking could be heard in the quiet. 

The space was clean, even if it was tiny, but there wasn’t much in it. There was a laptop on the table by the wall across from the couch, some unfolded laundry on the floor in baskets next to that. A few toys were scattered about, all of them picked up by Aspen as he walked to the kitchen. Or, the miserable excuse that was the kitchen anyway. It was all of about 2 and a half feet wide and 6 feet long with a fridge, sink, and stove all crammed in against the wall. Gavin noticed a long wood board had been put into the wall across from all the appliances to add counter space, but it just served to make things even tighter. Still, Aspen was able to move about and he opened his fridge to reach inside for a jug. The label read _Arnold Palmer Half and Half_ but Gavin could see that it had been reused as a koolaid container. Aspen poured himself some. 

“Do you want any?” he snapped as he poured, disgruntled at having to share space with his ex. Gavin said no.

Aspen didn’t seem to give two shits about his decision and after he got his glass he went and sat on his bed, glaring at Gavin over the rim of his cup.

“So what is it you want to talk to me about that couldn’t wait until another time?” he asked, anything but hospitable. Gavin perched on an out of place dining chair. He was positive it had been recovered from the alley. 

“I just wanted to check on you. See how you were holding up money wise and stuff…”

Aspen snorted.

“Managing.” Gavin tilted his head. 

“…Managing as in managing good or managing bad?”

“What the fuck does it matter to you?” Aspen snapped, setting his cup down on the floor with some force. “You don’t fucking live with me.”

Gavin felt his jaw tick a tad. “It matters because my children live with you, and you’re their mother. I was just asking.” He narrowed his eyes a tad. “You’re paying the rent, right?”

Wrong question.

“What the fuck kind of question is that? Of course I’m paying the fucking rent. And I’m feeding them and making sure they have clean clothes and go to fucking school. Does that answer your fucking question, officer smart ass?”

“…And what about yourself?”

“What about myself?”

“You’re eating too, right? Do you have everything you need?”

There was a subtle pause.

“Yeah, I’m dressed now aren’t I? And I’m not going to die of dehydration either. I got the kids covered first and then I have myself.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I asked if you were eating and if you had everything. You didn’t answer any of that.”

“Gavin, I swear-“

“Are you or are you not?”

There was murder etched in those eyes that Gavin had stared into many a moon ago when they had first gotten together. Aspen was livid, and that in itself should have told him the state of affairs, but he wanted to hear it. Not that he had extra money or anything, but he wanted to be needed again by them. By the prickly man who was treating him like he was a bane to his existence.

Aspen refused to answer at first, busy smoldering, but his anger could only stay bottled up for so long. 

“Look, smart ass. Don’t come into my house with that cop interrogation shit. You can take that and shove it up your ass, ok, because I’m not going to deal with that. Yeah, I eat. Ok? Yeah, I have clothes. I have fucking shower supplies and razors too, ok? You wanna go search my fucking medicine cabinet and take stock or some shit?”

“I was just asking-“

“Don’t give me that bullshit. Don’t ask me about myself because even if I did need your help you’re too fucking broke to do anything anyway.”

Gavin clenched his jaw at that, reminded once again that he couldn’t afford his family, in all sense. It hurt. He breathed out.

“Your grandfather stopped sending you money, right?”

“Yeah. I asked him to. I’m not going to suck him dry. Told him I was covered.”

“Right… How much do you get for food stamps?”

“They cut me. I make too much to get the full amount. Damon has free lunch though so that’s good.”

“Oh… but you still get government assistance, right?” 

“Yeah. Whatever they call that though. More like penny assistance.”

“Right…”

Gavin quieted as his questions went away, Aspen picking his glass back up and sipping from it moodily. The feeling in the room was not a comfortable one and Gavin jiggled his leg. He supposed he should get ready to go, but he didn’t quite want too. Talking to Aspen always left him drained, yet at the same time he longed too. It was a double edged sword. 

“…Are you sure you’re ok?”

Aspen shot him a glare. “I’m fucking peachy. Now get out of my house already. I want to take my nap, not talk to you all day.” He set his cup down, standing up. He pointed to the door.

Gavin sighed, heaving himself out of his seat and walking towards the door. He stepped back into the hall and turned to talk to Aspen once more, unable to deny his instinct to reassure his mate that he would be there if he needed something.

“I mean it Aspen. Really. I know I don’t have much but I’ll help you anyway I can. Just let me know.”

The albino looked at him, his expression clearly reading that he wasn’t impressed and he had no intention of doing any of that. Aspen leaned forward, hands on his hips and sneered at his ex again. Gavin could feel his breath ghost over him. He could smell the cologne and aftershave on his skin, his sensitive nose twitching.

“Fuck off.”

The door slammed in his face.


	2. Cards On The Table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elves are nosy and hooker heels hold up to their namesake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heels hurt. Also, the first chapter has been edited to better fit the plot. Mainly has to do with the age of the children.
> 
> Talen is also copyright to AthenaMyth.

“I take it your Friday didn’t go too well?” Talen asked his partner as they sat in their cruiser, nibbling on doughnuts and coffee. Around them downtown was bustling and productive, not the least bit concerned about the squad car or its officers. 

“Not really, no.” Gavin mumbled around his bear claw, sighing heavily. Talen just nodded.

Talen Frost had been Gavin’s patrol partner for about 5 years. His first partner had asked for reassignment after they realized street patrols weren’t for them and the elf had been the one to fill the empty seat. 

At first, the two hadn’t gotten along. Some of it had to do with the fact that they were natural enemies, Elves being prey to Vampires, but most of it had been because the two couldn’t work out a system or even attempt to get to know each other. When they went on patrol they sat stiff necked and stared out their respective windows but never shared a conversation. It was only after Talen had punched Gavin in the face for a nasty comment had they actually sat down, talked, and formed a bond.

Now they were brothers, in a sense, and Gavin found it hard to imagine ever having another partner.

The elf in question was tall and lean, much like Gavin. He lacked more of the muscle that the vampire claimed but he was still crazy strong so appearances didn’t matter much. He had long brown hair that he kept tied back when on the clock, had a fair complexion, and brown eyes that Gavin would remarked reminded him of a deer’s. Talen would always snort and shake his head in response to that.

Talen took another massive bite of his doughnut and chewed, his race’s need for sugar evident in his food choice. Double glazed doughnuts with sprinkles screamed diabetes for the rest of the world, but for elves like Talen it was a healthy choice. 

“The kids are ok, right?” he asked after he had swallowed, sipping his coffee afterwards. It was also full of sugar.

Gavin nodded. “Yeah. They’re fine. Damon was visiting a friend’s house and the rest were with the neighbors when I was there so I didn’t get to see them.”

“Oh, really?” Talen’s tone took on an apologetic hint. “Sorry, Gavin. That sucks.” 

“No, it’s fine. I’m glad Damon has friends and it’s good that the others are getting out of the house. Aspen needs a break and I kinda wanted to talk to him anyway…”

Talen shifted in his seat, giving his partner a look. “…Why do you insist on trying to talk to him, Gavin? You know he’s not suddenly going to have a change of heart or anything.” The elf shook his head. 

A car horn blasted in the distance.

Gavin shoved his bear claw back into its bag and leveled a glare at Talen. He knew the other was trying to say that he was just hurting himself, but, at the same time, he didn’t want to be questioned. He couldn’t treat Aspen like he was just his baby momma. He was still his mate, even if Aspen himself refused to recognize the bond, and that was something Gavin couldn’t shake. 

“Because he’s my mate, Talen.” Gavin replied, unable to stop himself from sounding angry. He was. “I know we’re divorced but my bond doesn’t seem to get that. I still care about him, just as much as I care about my kids. So, yes, when I go to visit I’m always going to try to talk to him, even if my only response is a “fuck you” or something else vulgar.”

The squad car fell silent. Talen was wisely quiet for a bit, running his tongue over his teeth as he waited for his partner to simmer down. Gavin’s heavy breathing could be heard easily in the confined space. He sounded like an angry bull.

“...I was just saying that it’s not very fair to you. That’s all.”

Gavin closed his eyes.

“Yeah, I got that.”

An uncomfortable silence settled within the car once again, disrupted only by the chatter of civilians as they crossed the street or the hum of traffic. Talen remained facing Gavin for a little while before he eventually decided it was better to leave things alone and faced forwards once again. The radio crackled, offering coordinates to officers in the area. It was a welcome distraction and without hesitation the elf answered the call and started up the car. The sirens went on and the two rode out.

 

________________________________

 

Aspen sat on his fold out bed, quietly counting his funds. 

All the kids were in bed, having been put there an hour or so earlier to give the albino time to himself. He had taken a shower and managed to eat the leftovers from dinner, the majority of it having gone to his troop. What had been left wasn't much but it was better than nothing. He could only drink so much koolaide before his stomach started to demand more sustenance.

The man ran his hand over his face as he counted his wad of singles and fives, the total not promising. 

He had a total of thirty dollars in cash and he still had a week to go before he got money from Gavin. It was no where near what he'd like to have and wasn't anywhere close to making ends meet without having to cut corners. 

Mainly his corners.

He was running low on diapers and food and had been planning on going to the store to buy more of each but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to get enough to last. Though the kids were still small, they still ate more than he did combined and he wasn't about to make them go hungry. He was their parent and if any sacrifices had to be made then he would put his out there first. It just sucked having to do so.

Aspen rubbed his face again, not liking his situation. 

The albino recieved money from several factions, and on paper it looked good. Really good. But, in reality, it was a struggle. His entire work paycheck went towards his rent. His government assistance, foodstamps and cash, helped pay for some of his food and clothing expenses. Gavin's money assisted with the rest of his rent. There was no leeway. Top it off with other expenses like school supplies and baby items and there just wasn't enough. Not to mention he paid the neighbors to babysit for when he had to work. Couldn't leave the kids alone, after all.

Aspen sighed, setting his money aside and stared down at the floor in dismay. It was a reoccurring feeling and he was sad to say he was starting to get used to it. He had been having this problem for months now. Most of the time he was able to get by but the more this went on the more tired he was becoming. He never expected this to be easy but his will could only take so much battering before it drew a line. Aspen was quite honestly tired of trying to make things work on the good end. He had a job, but what he was paid didn't cover half of everything he needed. The system was so skewed that it made trying to live right impossible, or damn well near it.

He simply couldn't keep on this track. No matter how much he bent and gave, there was no way going to be able to continue to get by. However, he wasn't going to ask for more help because there was no use. The numbers were stacked against him. Again, it looked good on paper but real life was different. 

Aspen realized that he was going to have to go a different route. 

A less than legal route.

It's not that he wanted to, because didn't, but working the corner seemed the easiest way to rake up some cash without having to deal with red flags like drugs. Aspen wanted no part of that business. He just wanted to make enough to make ends meet and maybe be able to buy himself some new clothes so he had an actual wardrobe. And he wanted to get his kids more of what they wanted too. Nothing pained him more than when he had to tell his babies no when they were at the store. 

Aspen stood from his seat and crouched down on the floor, reaching under his bed for a black plastic bag he had hidden under the fold out mattress. Inside was a sorry excuse for a kimono that he had bought exactly for this purpose when the thoughts had first crossed his mind. 

He wasn't sure if he should call his split second decision to purchase the item and endure the stares of the lady behind the counter prediction that he was going to be chest deep in shit or just intuition that he was going to be chest deep in shit. Either way, he found it eerie that he would actually be using the kimono instead of scoffing at it and throwing it out months after purchase.

The kimono in question had come from the salvation army and was clearly not traditional, if the super short length meant anything. The sleeves were long and ended in crisp squares and the pattern on the silk was composed of twisting white dragons and swirling clouds on a red background. There was a simple, thick obi made of black silk that went with it. It felt nice in Aspen's hands.

When Aspen had first tried on the piece it had barely come down to his mid thigh and had clung to every curve like a second skin. Seeing it in the mirror, he had felt scandalous, but oddly intrigued. He wasn't quite sure if it was the fact that he matched the color palette or if that he was wearing women's clothing. In the end he decided it didn't matter. Aspen also had no clue what it had been used for prior to it ending up in the store but it looked nice and it would show off what he wanted it too. It would also make him stand out. It wasn't everyday you came across a hooker who wore oriental clothing and he needed as much interest as possible. And heaven knew he needed the interest. If he couldn't make this work, the he didn't know what he would do...

The albino took a few moments to examine the kimono carefully and make sure everything was still in good shape before digging back under his bed for the pair of heels he had managed to snag to go with them. 

Aspen had never worn heels, with no particular interest in trying, but every hooker had heels. It was, like, a trademark. So, therefore, he had some. They were cheap black ones, with some minor scuffing thanks to the fact that they were hand me downs but Aspen doubted his clients would be paying attention to his shoes. Unless, of course, they had a foot fetish or something. 

Gross.

Anyway, he had to get used to walking around in them so he pulled them out and perched on the edge of his bed, taking the shoes and pulling them on. He had heard that pantyhose would make slipping them on and off easier but he wasn't sure he wanted to go that far, nor did he have the money to purchase any, so he would have to make do. He leaned over and slid his foot into the opening, working his finger around to ease his heel in. He was glad he didn't have a large foot size at that point, as the non existent space between his heel and the shoe reminded him that this was not going to be fun.

Shoes all the way on, Aspen winced as they pinched uncomfortably. Already they were telling him that they were going to make him their bitch and he hadn't even stood up yet. Wonderful. 

Oh well. No use in bitching.

The albino pushed past the pain and took a deep breath before pushing himself up and unto his feet. He wobbled, throwing his arms out to stabilize himself as his legs and body tried to get used to the unnatural stance. His calves trembled with the strain and he muttered curses under his breath, positive he would fall over.

But he didn't.

Aspen stood there, at least a few inches taller, but in no way confident in his abilities to pull this off. Just balancing was work. Would he even be able to walk?

Only one way to find out.

Aspen waited until he stopped swaying for the most part and lifted one foot hesitantly, placing it in front of him. The heel of the shoe clicked on the floor soundly, echoing oddly off the bare walls of the room. He wobbled again, but only for a second, and repeated the action with his other leg once he was stable. Over and over again Aspen went through the process of just putting one foot in front of the other, working on his balance and standing up straighter. 

As he paced the space between his walls he discovered it got easier. It wasn't so hard. Pretty soon he didn't have to look down and watch where he was going and his arms were relaxed at his sides. The sound of his steps grew more confident and steady with only minimal pauses as Aspen stopped and turned around to walk back to the other side of the room.

He could do this. 

The man soon switched tactics from practicing on walking to walking with finesse. Perform the perfect catwalk and get the customers noticing. You had to strut your stuff. The walk was what would help distinguish you from the rest of the street whores. Sure, anyone could look pretty in a dress, but if you tripped over yourself no one would look twice. _Swish your hips. One foot in front of the other. Chin up._

Aspen practiced until his feet were killing him and each step was like walking on pins and needles. Even then, he didn't stop. He had to get this right. He had too.

In the middle of a sashay, Aspen was brought to a dead halt when a small voice called him from behind. Nearly tripping over himself, the man whipped around and searched the dark, finding his bleary eyed son standing in the doorway.

"Mommy... Why are you makin' all dat noise?"

It as Damon, his oldest. His blonde curls were mussed from sleep and he was yawning, flashing a small set of fangs that were about as good to him as tits on a bull. 

Aspen cleared his throat.

"Oh... Um, I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to wake you." He moved over to the small child, heels clicking on the hardwood floors. He bent down and scooped the six year old up. 

Damon rubbed his eyes, the very epitome of a sleepy child. "What're you doing, mommy?"

"Just... dancing. I'm sorry. I'm not going to do it again, mk?" Aspen answered, the lie thick on his tongue. He swallowed it and the bitter taste that followed.

Damon snuggled into his hold, nuzzling his collarbone. "Mk mommy..." He gripped the albino's shirt in his hand as Aspen started to move towards his bedroom. "Can you teach me the dance later?" 

".... No. It's not a dance for little boys."

"...Oh..." A pause. "Ok mommy."

Aspen felt his son grow limp in his hold and he carefully deposited him into his bed. As he tucked in the covers, he took a moment to watch the sleeping damphyre's face and carefully smoothed back the unruly wavy locks that fell into it when he turned over and got comfortable. 

He was doing this for him. For all his children. 

Aspen placed a chaste kiss to his son's forehead and stood, quietly walking to the door. 

He shut it over and took off the shoes.


	3. He Touched Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pinkie sized appendages and near pedestrian accidents.

“Fuck…”

Aspen’s small groans and grunts were drowned out by the indecent squeak of leather and the harsh pants of his latest customer as they pounded into him with no shame. The albino bit his lip, faking a lusty moan, playing it up for the nameless face that gripped his hips way too hard with sweaty palms. 

On the inside, he wanted to throw up.

Aspen had been selling himself for weeks now. At first it had been incredibly awkward but pretty soon the man could see why women did it. The men who patrolled the corners were looking for anything they could stuff themselves into, pretty or not. They didn’t care if you were a man or woman either. Any hole was a goal. It was stress relief, and as long as Aspen was the one that got picked he could give two shits about what had his clients so strung out.

He feigned a whimper of pure ecstasy, having to close his eyes to stop himself from rolling them when his greasy customer practically purred.

“That’s it, slut. You like this big cock, don’t you?”

 _It’s about the size of my pinky but whatever._ “Mmmm, fuck yeah. Give it to me. Gimme that big cock.”

Honestly, it was the dialogue that was the hardest part of the job. After a while you kind of used up all of your lines and they ended up being automatic and repetitive. They weren’t true, not that Aspen would ever bestow true words like that on someone who had a comb over and an overly happy happy trail. He had higher standards, thank you. Not that it mattered. The customers were too dense to notice, too busy shoving their pathetic pricks into whatever opening suited their fancy. 

Aspen gripped the edge of the leather backseat as his customer rammed into him, scooting him forwards somewhat from the force. He was taking way too long to finish but Aspen could work that in his favor. Extra time got to you extra fees. 

“You getting close big boy?” he panted, playing the part of a fucked out twink incredibly well. “Gonna fill me up?”

His customer grunted, giving another jerk of his hips. Aspen reached behind him and his fingers found purchase on a fuzzy, thick thigh. 

“Then come on. Give it to me. I want you to fill me up so good that it drips out when I stand up…”

“F-fuck!”

The albino felt the stutter in the man’s hips as he went over the edge, Aspen taking that as his cue to start crowing his praises to the man for doing him so good and faking an orgasm. Had to make the client feel good. 

They never checked anyway.

Aspen pretended to go boneless, limp on the seat with his ass still shoved up in the air as his customer rutted into him a few more times before pulling free. The man gave his rump an affectionate swat that made Aspen further want to retch all over the seat but he faked a yip and a giggle instead.

He sat up once his client had moved out of the way and fixed his kimono, pulling fabric over his shoulders and straightening it. He found his cutch and opened it, pulling out a pack of tissues and wetnaps. He wiped off the already soft member of his customer and then proceeded to do the same for himself while the other man collected his money.

“That’s 50, darling.” Aspen mused, his customer jerking his head up in surprise. 

“What? What for?!”

“No condom, full sex, and you went over the 20 minute mark.” 

“That’s crazy!”

“You chose your price. I’m just telling you the actual total.”

The man’s cheeks were puffed out, his face flushing red in anger at having a whore try to wring money out of him. “I don’t have to pay you jack shit.”

Aspen leveled him a glare faster than the man could blink, pulling out his mace. “I suggest you rethink that statement.” He warned, voice losing its coy tone. 

“I **will** mace you, and then, when you’re eyes are burning in your skull, I’ll shove my stiletto into your balls until they pop and charge you another 50.” He waved the full can around, finger on the button threateningly. “Give me my money.”

The man had lost some of his nerve, obviously surprised that Aspen had been packing some form of personal protection, but he didn’t lose all of it. 

Before Aspen knew it the man had flung himself across the backseat of the car, apparently deciding that assault was better than paying up. He felt the ham hand of said person connect with his jaw in a punch soon after and his temper exploded.

Aspen had never considered himself much of a fighter, but the albino did not tolerate physical violence to his person. He punched back, clawed at the man’s face, and when the other’s hand’s threatened to clamp down on his neck he jerked up and bit the other’s lip until he tasted blood. 

When his attacker reeled back, clutching his face, Aspen added insult to injury and used his pepper spray. The man flailed, wailing in pain and anger, and Aspen toed the door handle behind his twitching mass to open up the door and send the porker sprawling onto his back on the ground outside. 

“Fucking bitch!”

Aspen ignored him, snatching up the man’s wallet and going through it. He took his fifty and a bunch of other bills then threw the leather pouch at the man as he exited the car. 

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m a bitch, you fucking asshole.” He stomped over, kicking the man in the crotch as a final how do. “And now I just made you my bitch.”

The man groaned, hands flying to his balls even though his lip was still bleeding and mace was still making his eyes burn. Typical. The dick was more important. Aspen finished righting his kimono, pulling it down so that it covered his ass and the thong underneath, and made sure he had everything in his clutch before walking away. 

A smirk played on his lips and he called over his shoulder: “Oh, and FYI, your 2 inch dick ain’t big. Fucking loser!”

 

_______________________

 

Gavin sighed. 

Patrols were always boring. Sure, drama happened, but it wasn’t like on tv where cops were always being pulled out to the call of duty every minute of the day. It was more like hit or miss. If you were in the area, and something happened, or you happened to pass by some shit that was going down, then you jumped out of your cruiser and got to flash your badge. 

Gavin would’ve given anything for something like that to appear right now. 

He’d been cruising the area for hours now, going up and down and around his perimeter. Nothing was amiss. The vampire was pretty sure stuff was happening. He just couldn’t see it. What made it even more boring was that Talen had been given the day off. He had no one to chew the cud with and at least make this night productive conversation wise.

Oh well. What could he do?

The officer puffed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel while he waited for the light to change. He was in a fairly active night scene on the northeast side of town. There were people walking around, going and coming out of bars. The weather was nice so motorcycles and scantily clad chicks were the norm as well. 

He watched the populace with little interest, not overly concerned. Nothing looked suspicious.

Gavin fixed his eyes on the street light, waiting for it to turn green. When it did, his foot pressed the gas automatically and he didn’t even look to see if somebody crazy was going to walk out in front of his vehicle. It was a cop car, after all. No one just walked in front of those when the cross signal was telling them to stop.

Yet, before he knew it, there was somebody in his way. His heart jumped into his throat and he slammed on the brakes, his faithful car lurching to a stop, just _inches_ away from some lady in a too short oriental dress.

He goldfished for a second, not sure what to do or say. The adrenaline was still pumping through him from having narrowly avoiding an accident. Which, wouldn’t have been his fault, by the way, if it had happened. Gavin thanked his lucky stars that his reaction times were faster than a human’s.

He and the lady made eye contact through the windshield and at once Gavin felt another punch to the gut. Only, this time, it was anxiety.

That was no lady.

The person standing there, scantily dressed and a hair's breath away from his front bumper was his estranged husband. 

"...Aspen?"

The albino squinted, trying to see past the tinted glass, and he seemed to realize who it was too. Gavin noted the small frown and then the "oh shit" look that immediately wiped the former expression clean off. For some reason that bothered Gavin more than it should have. It really did. Even the dress was overlooked because that expression was a treasure grove of undiscovered fuckeries.

He rolled down his window, sticking his head out. 

"Aspen!"

Said albino had sensed things were about to hit the fan and had high tailed it out of there as fast as his high heels would allow, which wasn't anything more than a brisk trot. Gavin paused for a millisecond to comprehend that his mate was wearing women's footwear before he jerked his head back into the car and pushed the gas.

He pulled the squad car around the corner, rolling along at a speed that matched Aspen's. He was totally hiding something. His whole demeanor and body language was screaming that he was doing something he wasn't supposed to and Gavin just knew he wouldn't be able to focus until he figured out what it was.

"Aspen!"

"Go the fuck away, Gavin!" the albino yelled back, still furiously speed walking. 

The vampire grit his teeth. "No! Come here!"

"No!"

Pratically snarling, Gavin jerked the wheel and the car pulled up over the curb, blocking Aspen's path. The man sputtered, clearly surprised and turned to make a run for it in the opposite direction when Gavin could be seen exiting his vehicle. 

He didn't make it very far. They both knew he wouldn't. One second Aspen was trotting back towards the main road and the next his ex had a firm grip on his wrist, yanking him back over to his chest.

"Let me go!" The albino yelled, trying to pry Gavin's hand off his arm. "Get the fuck off. I didn't do anything!"

Gavin held firm, his mate's feeble attempts to free himself wasted. Vampires were immovable to a point. 

"I'll let you go once you tell me what's going on." he spoke, the rumble of his voice only down to a low growl that laced with his words. "Why are you out here? It's 2 am! And why are you dressed like this?!"

The vampire picked at the material, Aspen snarling and swatting his hands away.

"None of your fucking business! What I do on my free time is no concern to you!" The man snapped, red eyes blazing. Gavin could see the light dusting of eye shadow and the stain on his lips. 

Aspen was wearing makeup.

He was wearing fucking makeup.

Gavin's eyes narrowed to slits and he pulled Aspen up to him so that he could bury his nose into the shorter man's hair, neck, and anywhere else that he could reach to scent. What he found did not make him happy, protective and possessive instincts welling up and threatening to overflow.

The vampire could smell the greasy strangers that had been all over his mate. The amount of their personal musk was so potent it was as if they were still touching him. Gavin curled his lip back in disgust and he pulled his nose away to grab Aspen's chin and direct his gaze. He grew even more upset when he noted the purpling bruise across his jawline.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Gavin, let go! I don't even-"

"Why are you doing this, Aspen?! I told you that if you ever needed anything you would come to me, not sell yourself on the street corner!"

Gavin was blind with hurt and anger. It was like it was a personal insult to him. Aspen knew he only had so much money, but he also knew he'd give it over if he or the children needed it. all he had to do was tell him. Let him know.

Instead he went out and became a hooker.

Aspen, meanwhile, was practically spitting fire at his ex's correct accusations. He couldn't possibly admit that he was just as Gavin thought he was. Not only could he possibly get arrested but he really didn't want Gavin to start hovering around more. It would just spell trouble for him either way.

"I'm not a fucking hooker, you asshole!"

"Why are you lying? I can smell them on you. You're wearing women's clothing. what else could you be?!"

Aspen flailed, desperately wanting to get away, to escape his ex's questions. He couldn't tell him anything. He couldn't admit anything. He just couldn't. 

He pried at Gavin's fingers on his wrist again, practically on the verge of tears. This was too much to deal with right now and he wanted to go home. He needed to clean up and sleep. He needed a chance to hide his things and cover up.

Gavin remained immovable, refusing to let up. He was going to get his answers. He was going to get his mate to admit what he was poorly trying to hide and he was going to get him to say that he needed him. All the vampire ever wanted to do was help and be a part of his family again. He had wrestled with it during countless restless nights and he just needed an excuse to wiggle himself back into the frenzy. this was that excuse.

He just needed Aspen to give in.

The vampire jerked in surprise when a sudden crash went on behind. He whipped around to see what the commotion was, loosening his grip just enough where Aspen was able to slip free and take off before he could register what he had done.

Gavin growled as he watched his mate scurry off, heels sounding on the pavement as he disappeared down the street. He was unable to follow, however, his position unable to ignore what had turned out to be a decent car accident in the main intersection. It was convenient, he realized. Almost too convenient.

Gavin ground his teeth together in irritation as he got back into his cruiser and drove off the curb, heading to the intersection. It peeved him greatly to have to let Aspen go but he had no choice. 

He would, however, be making an appearance at his apartment as soon as he was off the clock. Aspen and he were going to have a talk, whether the albino wanted to or not.


	4. Breathing Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallen angels, hot tempers and even hotter sex.

Aspen had gotten home exceptionally late and, with no time to change for fear he might fall asleep standing, had rapped on his neighbor’s door until the fallen angel had answered.

William was his go to person for babysitting and anything medical. The man was exceptionally gentle and kind and had an earnest desire to help people around him, which was surprising in itself. It wasn’t often you met a fallen with a positive disposition, so when Aspen had been in a pinch he had decided to see if the raven haired saint would help him out. William hadn’t disappointed and ever since he had gotten his full time job he had been his loyal service person who not only cared for his children when he was out but also picked them up if he was running late and enriched their day with fun activities and language games.

He also made sure his most recent escapades didn’t end with some sort of viral infection.

Needless to say, saint or not, Aspen learned that William was not terribly happy about being woken up so early in the morning. He worked a weird schedule and when he wasn’t babysitting was always out of his apartment. Aspen didn’t know when he had time to sleep but he supposed he had just messed with that valuable time window by showing up at 4 am.

“Aspen… It’s four o clock in the morning…” the man grumbled, blinking bleary, heterochromatic eyes at the cross dressing albino in front of him.

Aspen clasped his hands together in front of him, practically begging for the angel’s forgiveness in a weird prayer like fashion. “I know. I’m so sorry, Will, I really am.” He bit his lip. “I didn’t mean to stay out so late but shit happened with a customer and then my ex almost ran me over and I just really want to get the kids back into bed before I have to wake up and hide all my shit.” 

William looked like he might reel from the rushing explanation, furrowing his brow as his glasses slipped down his straightedge nose. “...Why do you have to hide all your stuff?”

The albino sighed, dropping his hands. “Because he knows I’m a hooker. Well, he thinks he knows. I’m going to hide all my condoms and stuff so that when he comes to search me tomorrow he just thinks I’m a cross dresser.” He looked at the man. 

“…By the way, would you mind if I stashed that stuff in your house while he’s here?”

William stared at him like he had grown a second head. After a while he shook his own and pushed his door open wider to allow the albino entrance, running a hand over his face. 

“Sure... I guess…” He shook his head again. “Come on. I’ll heal that bruise and then help you with the kids…”

The fallen held the door open as Aspen slipped in under his arm. He locked it once it was shut back over and directed Aspen to sit on his couch while he went and collected his tools in order to heal up the bruise spreading along the hooker’s jaw.

Aspen waited, drumming his fingers on his thigh and jiggling his leg. He really wanted to go home but he reminded himself that he had to go through this before he could. If he didn’t Gavin would get way too involved in his personal life.

He glanced around while William puttered around in his bathroom. His apartment was the same layout wise as his own but it was tastefully more decorated. There was a coffee table in front of the couch on top of a rug that took up most of the bare floor space and created a cozy alternative to hardwood if one stretched their legs out a few inches. The couch itself was faux leather and there was a TV on the wall across the way. To his left, there were two bookshelves filled with various titles of literature that Aspen tried to read but couldn’t from his current spot.

The whole room screamed a higher standard of living, one that Aspen couldn’t exactly afford anytime now or in the near future, but it was a nice change from his own house’s rather bland and depressing palette. 

He jerked his head away from examining the bookcase as William reentered the room, shiny utensils in hand, and flicked on the lamp beside the far arm of the couch. He sat down beside Aspen and laid his instruments on the table and it gave the man a chance to examine his savior a bit more closely.

William was angelic, in a sense. He stood at about 6’2 and was lean and toned in build. His hair was a mixture of short and long and was blacker than ink, Aspen liked to think. His most striking features were his duel colored eyes and ivory skin. His right eye was a pale blue and his left a forest green. 

Aspen may or may not have had a little bit of appearance appreciation towards the fallen, but he’d never say it out loud.

William readied his scalpel and motioned for Aspen to come closer, taking the albino’s chin in his hand when he leaned forward obediently. 

“You really need to be more careful.” He chided slightly as he pushed up his glasses and pressed the tip of the blade against Aspen’s tender skin. William added pressure and moved it across his flesh.

Aspen’s eyes went wide and then he squeezed them shut as the blade cut into the bruise, trying to hold back a whimper but failing horribly when it turned into a drawn out whine. “OW!”

The angel ignored his patient’s sounds of displeasure, cutting a little further before removing the scalpel and quickly pressing a piece of gauze to it to capture the run off. He set the cutting tool down and brought his finger up to his mouth.

William bit his fingertip, barely flinching at the sound or pain as his teeth cut flesh and brunched down on the delicate bone of his fingertip. He pulled it back and made sure it was bleeding before removing the gauze on Aspen’s wound. Taking his bloody digit, the angel smeared his blood over the incision and inside of it as far as Aspen would stand for it.

When he was finished he watched as the tissue stopped deteriorating and started to repair itself, cells knitting back together to form a whole and return the skin to it’s original condition, minus the bruise. 

William tilted Aspen’s chin up and to the side a few time to see if his remedy had worked as he wanted it to, finding no indications that he had been cut open or had been punched in the first place. He hummed his approval and let his hand drop to collect the dirty gauze and his scalpel. 

“Better?”

“Better...” Aspen rubbed his jaw, still feeling the metal cutting his flesh in phantom sensations. He felt no open wound however. Not even the hotness of the bruise that had been there mere minutes before remained. 

He put his hand back in his lap.

“…Thank you.”

“Hm.” 

William stood from his seat on the couch, dirty things in hand, and went to dispose of them properly. Aspen heard the sound of items hitting the bottom of the trash can in the kitchen and William appeared shortly after, waving Aspen towards his spare bedroom to come collect his kids.

The albino, trying to be quiet with his heels, helped take his children off the bed and out of the various cribs that took up space in the room. In the end he couldn't carry his bigger kids due to his fashion choice so he opted for taking the infants instead. They were smaller and lighter and he didn't have to juggle them as much when they were comfortably settled in his arms. 

It took two trips to get everyone home and Aspen thanked his neighbor profusely for his help and kindness. William waved him off and ended the stream of "thank yous" by shutting his door and locking it soundly.

Aspen, taking that as his cue that William was done for the night, scurried back into his apartment to start the process of cleaning up and assuming a non hooker identity. 

He pushed his door closed with his hip, wrestling with his heels at the same time. He almost fell over from the awkward combination but in the end he managed and the heels went sailing through the air to land on his bed once they were off. Aspen then started to remove his get up, untying the obi with hurried grabs and yanks. He kicked the robe and obi away once it slid off his shoulders and dropped onto the floor. 

The thong was next and it was quickly deposited in the very, very bottom of his clothing hamper so that the kids or his ex husband would have no hope of finding it. There was no way he was going to explain what it was to his kids and if Gavin found it there would be hell to pay and he really didn't need that drama.

The albino ruffled his silver locks as he padded towards the bathroom, completely naked, and turned on the shower. He didn't have the luxury of taking a long time since he did have to be up tomorrow but he was going to take as much time as he needed to to make sure his scent was completely clean of any nasty customer stink.

The water was scalding and he rubbed his pale skin until it was red with his loofa. He washed his hair afterwards and took a moment to clean out the pipes so to speak afterwards before finishing up his routine by brushing his teeth.

When he stepped out, Aspen felt shiny and new once again and his night life was officially left in the drain. Come morning he was going to pretend that Gavin was crazy and he didn't suck dick for a paycheck. It might actually work and Gavin might get off his case but the vampire was about as stubborn as a mule so Aspen didn't let himself think it would be that easy.

He just had to keep his things hidden and stay as squeaky clean as possible until Gavin finally receded. That was the only real way to win this. 

Aspen took a quick glance at his phone clock after cleaning and packing up his items to take to William's tomorrow and the yawn that escaped him rivaled a big cat's.

It was time for bed. 

__________________

 

Gavin banged angrily on his mate's door, the wooden blockade shuddering under the force of each blow. 

After their little run in last night, the cop had spent the remainder of his shift on pins and needles, wanting to throttle his mate and hide him from the world all at the same time. 

He knew Aspen thought he was stupid, because he could be at times, but he wasn't that dumb. Aspen had never expressed any interest in cross dressing before or even during their marriage and there was no way somebody walked around reeking of sex without actually participating in it. The stench had permeated the perfume that had been present when he had done his little scenting and it had made him see red for a moment.

Well, in all honesty, he was still seeing red now.

When the door had not been opened immediately after his knocking Gavin snarled and banged on it even harder. The door number that had been tacked on fell off after a particularly vicious knock and that was when Aspen finally decided to swing open the door.

"WHAT??!" the albino roared, eyes blazing out of annoyance and anger.

Gavin had to halt his arm from continuing it's series of pounding when the door opened and left him a clear view of his mate. His eyes narrowed when he noted there was no bruise but that was quickly pushed away as unimportant at the current time.

The vampire snorted like a bull, hunching slightly at his mate's clear challenge to his very existence. 

"You know what, Aspen!" he barked, swearing a bit of dribble went flying off his lip as he spoke. "Let me in!"

Aspen hissed, short but more than willing to fight when he was angry enough. "Fuck no!"

Gavin growled something fierce and shoved the door the rest of the way open, pushing his way in. He didn't lay a hand on the smaller man, simply using his mass and strength to move Aspen for him. The albino spat a few obscenities and tried to keep him in the hallway by pushing back on his chest but to no avail. Gavin's powerful surge was quickly aided by the fact that socks had no traction on wood flooring and soon the vampire was standing in his livingroom, the door shut and locked behind him.

Aspen stopped trying to push his ex away when he realized it was futile and stepped back a few steps, hackles still raised in defiance. "Who the fuck do you think you are?!"

"Your husband." Gavin rumbled, as though they hadn't signed divorce papers a few years ago.

The albino barked out a cruel laugh at that. "Husband? FY Fucking I, we aren't married. The only thing you have with me are the kids. Or did you not get the memo?"

"Aspen..." The vampire warned, his anger flaring more at his mate's insults. 

Aspen flipped him off. "Go fuck yourself, Gavin. You don't own me."

The man surged at that. "No but I wish I did sometimes!" he quipped, tired of his mate's disrespect and games. He stalked forwards. "Maybe then you wouldn't go running around, selling yourself to anyone who has a dollar."

Aspen's eyes flashed something dangerous. "Shut the fuck up. You don't know what I fucking do."

"It's not hard to figure out. You smelled like a fucking brothel."

"I was at a bar, dipshit. You're so fucking dense."

"Stop lying!" Gavin exploded, having had it up to there with his mate. "Why didn't you just tell me you needed help? I'm not retarded Aspen. I know when you're lying. I can smell it on you, or are you the dumb one who can't remember that vampires have a keen sense of smell?"

The shorter man snarled at the insult and that was it. Gavin supposed he should have seen it coming but Aspen's speed and force took him by surprise and before he knew it he was on the ground, the albino straddling his stomach and pulling his hand back from a good hit to his ex's cheek. 

The pain bloomed late behind Gavin's eyes and he had a moment to realize that his mate had just assaulted him. That was a big offense if he had been on duty but he wasn't and by then he was so enraged that when Aspen scrambled up off of him to try and kick him in the ribs he grabbed the man's foot and pulled, yanking the other off balance and crawling on top.

The scuffle that ensued was mostly him trying to keep Aspen from clawing his eyes out. Gavin managed to pin the other's wrists above his head, leaving Aspen to struggle and buck up wildly under his hold. 

He was the epitome of pissed off and his murderous look was proof of such. Gavin had no doubt that if he had let him Aspen would have continued his attack. 

Somewhere, deep inside, Gavin was sorry he had made him so upset but he was upset too and he wasn't always the most logical when his temper took over.

He continued to hold his thrashing mate in place, growling at him to stop and calm down. He was rewarded with Aspen spitting in his face, a final slur to his authority. Gavin growled, bared his teeth, and then crushed his lips to Aspen's.

Aspen gave a muffled noise of surprise and then one of upset, biting down on Gavin's lip when the opportunity presented itself. He tasted blood and Gavin snarled against him, but didn't pull away. Instead he tightened his vice like grip on the albino's wrists and his free hand found it's way under his mate's shirt, skimming the man's chest until he found a nipple and tweaked it hard.

The answering groan he got made him smirk wolfishly against his mate's lips and he kissed him a bit more soundly, rolling the peak between his finger's expertly. Aspen's spine arched into it and the little growl that had been building after the pinch started to tame.

When Aspen pulled back from the kiss to suck in a breath Gavin licked his lip to heal the cut and moved his attention's to the albino's neck. It was one of his most sensitive spots if he remembered correctly and he wasn't disappointed when his mate gave a little shudder in response.

The fight hadn't completely left Aspen. If Gavin wasn't careful the man would try to take a chunk out of him elsewhere so he wisely kept him occupied with well placed kisses and flicks on his pink buds. If he flicked them hard enough Aspen would practically shout and that was always good. 

The vampire kept fondling his mate's chest until he grew impatient and he moved his hand down towards the waistband of Aspen's sweat pants. He jerked the elastic fabric down to mid thigh and shoved his hand in, not waiting for Aspen to react. He found what he had been looking for with ease, the albino's rapidly stiffening prick fitting nicely in his fist.

Aspen's quick gasp at the touch encouraged Gavin that he wouldn't be kneed in the groin just yet. Humming his approval, Gavin proceeded to pump his ex husband to full mast and kept at the furious pace until Aspen was wriggling underneath him.

"I'm gonna fucking come!"

"No you're not."

Gavin pushed the envelope to the very edge, waiting until Aspen was arching up off the floor before he squeezed down on the base of his cock and cut off any chance of an orgasm. 

The answering scream to the torture was not unexpected and Gavin merely chuckled as the fire returned to his mate full fury.

"You fucking asshole!" Aspen spat, face flushed from his denial and the fact that Gavin still had his hand on his dick. "Mother fucker. I swear to god I will cut off your balls and feed them to the neighbors dog! Let me go!"

Gavin ignored his ranting, holding him down and moving his hand from it's current spot to fondle Aspen's sac before slipping under and between his cheeks. He pressed his thumb to the tight ring of muscle there and at once Aspen stopped breathing fire, eyes widening at what was going to come. 

"Are you sure you want me to just let you go?" Gavin asked, quirking a brow. Aspen looked like a deer in headlights, red eyes wide but the vampire didn't miss the tiny push into his touch.

Taking the movement as his silent answer Gavin reared upwards and moved around to Aspen's side. He kept hold of the albino's wrists and slid his other hand up under the small of his back to lift him up off the floor. Aspen made a noise of surprise at being moved and Gavin quickly strode over to the pull out bed. 

He deposited Aspen onto the squeaky mattress with no small amount of grace, picking up a tie that had been left on the sheets and used that as a way to keep Aspen bound.

When the smaller man was bound Gavin proceeded to strip him bare and he tossed his clothes to every corner of the room without much thought. He was much more interested in being able to run his hands over every inch of Aspen's pale skin, a fantasy he had been denied for years.

He started at Aspen's neck, feeling the skittering of a pulse when he pressed his fingers along the jugular and the quick intake of air before he smoothed downwards to the albino's chest. There, he tweaked both nipples, the one he had been abusing before still red and tender and he soothed the pain with a quick kiss as his palms played over the flat plains of Aspen's abdomen.

While doing so Gavin was reminded that the prickly man he currently had melting under his attentions was a full blown mom and he felt the urge to make him swell again. Part of it was just primal instinct to prove his prowess and dominance over the other but another part of it was that it would maybe help him gain some ground with the albino. Every time Aspen had been pregnant he had always turned into a quiet stay at home figure that preferred to simply go with the flow and desired attention. Gavin wanted nothing more than to be welcomed back into the circle and be needed, but he wasn't sure his unusual virility would be appreciated at this point in time. They did have 7 kids already.

Still, he could day dream and he carefully nosed Aspen's naval, a soothing rumble escaping his throat as he simply took in his mate's scent and left his own in place. It smelled much better than those other guys'. It smelled right.

Aspen, meanwhile, whimpered at the gentle nuzzling and bit his lip. He wanted to tell Gavin to fuck off and kick him in the jaw or something but he couldn't find it in him to do so. 

Deep down, he had missed Gavin's attentions and his doting. True, he was very devoted to his work and they hadn't had much time to themselves when they had been married, but what they did have had been just like this. Minus him being bound, Gavin had always taken his time to ensure that he had been pleased and spent copious amounts of time marveling over his body. Aspen had never considered himself to be particularly attractive, his hellish years of high school enough to make him think so, but Gavin had always made him feel like maybe he was good looking. When he had been pregnant Gavin could hardly keep his hands to himself and even afterwards they were still pawing at each other. It had been honest to god love and true attraction. His "customers" couldn't even compare.

Aspen also hadn't gotten off in years and the realization that he might be able to void all his pent up sexual frustration was too much to resist. Being a working single mom didn't allow for personal time. He was so not going to let this slip, even if it was his ex he was fucking around with.

But Gavin was taking way too fucking long to get to the actual screwing and Aspen felt his frustration start to turn to anger again. He didn't want this to be lovey dovey. He wasn't supposed to want it at all but since they were here he was going to make sure it was hard and satisfying. He needed to come. He had to come and he was going to get it his way.

"Stop making out with my fucking stomach and fucking stretch me already." Aspen hissed, irritation thickly coating every word. "Lube's in my top drawer. Just hurry up already."

Gavin, pulled out of his musing and subtly humping the mattress, grunted and placed one last kiss on Aspen's stomach before he found the lube and proceeded to prep his mate. 

Honestly he was surprised they were still going but he wasn't going to question it. He was rock hard in his pants and when Aspen's legs fell open wide to give him access he knew there was no turning back. 

The vampire didn't hurry through his prepping, knowing a proper stretching was the right way to go and the soft sighs and moans he managed to elicit from Aspen while doing so was music to his ears. The quiet purring he had been making got louder in response and he held out for as long as possible before his clothes started to become too much to bear.

Aspen panted harshly, the empty feeling that replaced Gavin's fingers once he had pulled away to strip uncomfortable and he pined quite embarrassingly for his ex to return. It was like Gavin had removed a chunk of his sanity when he had left. Aspen didn't have to suffer too long, however, because soon Gavin's hulking form was over his once more and the bulbous head of his cock was nudging insistently at his entrance.

Gavin dropped his nose to the ivory column of his mate's neck as he pushed in, scooting his knees forward as every inch was swallowed up to keep himself deeply seated. Any space between them felt like a sin and Gavin wanted to be as closely as possible. 

Aspen moaned breathily, squeezing his eyes shut as Gavin rooted himself. "F-fuck...." 

The vampire purred in reply. He put his arms under Aspen's back and held his shoulders from behind. 

"I got you darlin'...."

He held still until he was positive Aspen was alright and then he slowly rocked forwards, drawing his hips back all the way before sinking back in. Aspen's tight heat felt like heaven and Gavin thought he might come just from the slow stimulation alone but his mate had other ideas. 

"Harder. No slow shit. I want you to fuck me good." the smaller man growled, digging his fingernails into Gavin's shoulders. The vampire gave a slight grunt in reply, not sure he wanted to, but Aspen quickly made him stop trying to think it over by biting the junction of where his shoulder and neck met hard.

Gavin stopped short of roaring at the bite, immediately shifting gears and positioning his hips to savagely ram into Aspen with no mercy. The albino's jaw went slack and he tossed his head back, eyes screwing shut as he was given what he had demanded and he clawed at Gavin's chest in his search for something to cling too. Gavin growled as the scratches raised his skin and pounded even harder.

In moments Aspen's vocabulary had been reduced to nothing but moans and gasps while his ex snarled like some rabid thing above him. It felt so good. So, so good. His years of denial and his more recent poor fucks made this feel ten times greater than how he remembered it and even then it had been fucking phenomenal. 

In a passing thought the albino wasn't sure he would be able to walk tomorrow. He figured he might be able to take the day off if he couldn't but he didn't really care either way. Gavin was hitting all the right spots and he felt like the air was being punched out of him with every jarring thrust. 

And then he saw white.

"OH FUCK!" Aspen screamed, bucking his hips up wildly as Gavin hit his prostate. Any coherent thoughts that had still been going through his mind were now officially forgotten after that. His bound hands slipped on the slick skin of Gavin's chest and he was practically sobbing, wanting Gavin to hit that spot again. His dick was leaking all over the place and it would've been gross but now it just turned him on. 

"D-do it again. Fuck, please, do it again baby." he panted, ruined.

Gavin thought he might be hearing things at first, his frenzied brain filling in Aspen's actual words with his pet name from when they had been together but when Aspen said it again, voice quivering, he felt a whole new rush and immediately began to search out the button that made Aspen shout.

His aim was true and the second time he brutally rammed into Aspen's prostate the pale man's back was arching so far off the bed Gavin was mildly concerned for a moment. He watched as the albino cried out again, his fists beating against the vampire's chest feebly, and saw a tear slip out from under Aspen's long snowy lashes. He rumbled loudly at that, male pride growing at the sign of ultimate sign of pleasure.

He kept pummeling into that tight sheath until he thought he might loose it and decided that he wanted Aspen to work him the rest of the way.

Tightening his grip on the albino, Gavin flipped their positions in less than a second. Aspen squeaked in surprise, dazed as his world was tilted, and stared down at Gavin. 

He was almost upset at him for stopping. _Almost_. 

With his weight impaling him completely on Gavin's dick, Aspen found he couldn't complain. He settled his hands on his ex's abs and gathered his knees under himself, wasting no time and picking up on where they had left off. He moaned openly, his head lolling back when it felt like Gavin was going even deeper into him than before. 

"Feels so fucking good baby..." he panted, removing his hands and bringing them up to his chest to play with his own nipples. "I'm so full... God it's perfect..."

Gavin growled, settling his hands on Aspen's hips while the albino bounced on his lap on his own accord. He liked when Aspen was on top. It gave him a perfect view of everything there was to see and his mate's expressions were gorgeous. He knew he could always look down when in the missionary position to see them but at the same time it didn't quite compare to getting to see Aspen work himself on his cock and bring himself to his own end. 

Aspen pinched his nipple, groaning and tossing his head back as he sat down fully. His thighs quivered from the exertion and he bit his lip to stifle some of the noise that wanted to escape. There was no way he was going to stop just because his legs weren't used to this sort of work so he started rolling his hips to keep the friction going. It wasn't as good as full on bouncing but it did feel good so Aspen kept at it until his legs felt like they wouldn't quit on him and then resumed to raise and lower himself.

He had picked up the pace gradually through the whole thing and by now he was furiously fucking himself. His breath was coming out in ragged pants, occasionally accented by a moan or whimper when he hit the right spot, and the flush that had originally been on his cheeks had spread to the entire top of his chest. He had stopped playing with his nipples at some point and was instead sucking on one of his fingers, his eyes closed.

Gavin was practically salivating. Though the friction was excellent Aspen's expressions were choice and he could barely contain himself from flipping them over again and taking the reins. 

The vampire licked his lips, reaching up and pulling Aspen's hand away from his mouth. He replaced the albino's slim fingers with two of his own and moaned loudly when they weren't rejected. He panted as Aspen's eyes fluttered open and looked at him with smoldering lust, the man's tongue skillfully wrapping around Gavin's finger tips. Immediately the cop was assaulted with memories of when Aspen had given him head and his hips stuttered in reaction. 

"I'm close." he grunted, teeth clenched.

Aspen moaned, sucking on Gavin's fingers a little longer before letting them go with a pop and replying. 

"Same..."

Helplessly nodding, Gavin planted his feet on the mattress and tilted his hips up, picking up the pace for the both of them. Aspen keened, once again clawing at his ex, and tried to meet the other man's thrusts with downward strokes of his own. It didn't work out like intended so in the end he just rode it out, his moans and the sound of slapping skin bouncing off the bare walls.

"So close. I'm right there... Come on baby..." Aspen begged, barely holding himself up. Gavin grunted, grip on his mate's ass tightening.

He angled his hips a tad bit more and then thrust upwards with as much force as he could in the current position. 

Apparently it was enough.

He felt Aspen grow rigid in his arm, all of his muscles tensing before he shuddered and a broken cry left his throat. Hot evidence of his pleasure landed across Gavin's abdomen in thick ropes, joining the precum from earlier. The vampire rumbled, pleased, and kept thrusting, drawing out his mate's orgasm while in search of his own. He got maybe three more in before Aspen's clenching cavern squeezed down on him like a vice and ripped his own end from him by the roots.

Gavin snarled, teeth impossibly clenched, and he arched off the bed. Aspen went with him, unable to move right away due to the fact that he was completely fucked out, and the moans he gave in response to the feeling of being filled even more prolonged Gavin's own high.

He rutted into his mate until he felt like his balls might recede into him before he slumped completely down onto the bed. His panting joined Aspen's and they stayed in their respective positions as they caught their breath. Little by little the heat from wild sex was replaced by the unbearable swelter of an apartment with no air conditioning in the middle of summer. Their bodies were absolutely slicked with sweat and their hair was stuck to their foreheads. 

Aspen took a few deep breaths before he shifted, raising himself off of Gavin's lap and letting said vampire's softening member slip out with a quiet groan. He crawled off the bed after and found Gavin's clothes.

Gavin pushed his hair out of his face, chest heaving. That had totally not gone as he had expected and he had no idea what it meant. Maybe Aspen wanted him back after all and he just had to prove his worth. Maybe he didn't hate his guts. What if-

His uniform pants hit him square in the face, his belt buckle landing right between his eyes. He yelped in surprise and pain and sat up, holding the article of clothing as he looked to his partner with a confused expression.

"Aspen what-"

"Get the fuck out of my house." 

"Wha... Huh? But-" Gavin stuttered, terribly confused. They had just had a good time. Aspen had called him baby. Why was he upset? "I don't understand..."

Aspen sneered, blood from his earlier biting episodes smeared across his lips and making him look rabid. "There's nothing to understand, you dumbass. Get the fuck out of my house and don't come back. Send the money in the mail and when you come to see the kids you stay down fucking stairs."

Hurt, Gavin got off the bed, slowly approaching his irate mate as though he were a hurt animal. He had to smooth this over. "But, Aspen, I just want to take care of you... Why won't you let me do that?"

"Because you couldn't fucking do it the first time!" Aspen spat, baring his teeth to the vampire. He took his still bound hands and shoved the vampire in the chest, Gavin taking a few steps back from shock. 

Goldfishing, Gavin sputtered for a reply, his former pride that had been preening at having Aspen moan and hang off his cock tucking its tail at the painful jab to the fact that he had failed as a husband. Of course it would be that. He was always upset about that. He licked his lips anxiously. "I'm sorry Aspen." he pleaded, the albino shoving him again towards the door. "I know I fucked up. I regret it every day. Please, just let me-"

"No!" Aspen glared up at him defiantly, ruby red eyes blazing. He pushed Gavin again. "No. I'm not going to give you another chance. If you couldn't do it right the first time then why should I let you hurt me again?!" His eyes flashed, sadness, but only for a moment. As quick as Gavin observed it, it was gone, replaced again by fury. 

"Stop fucking asking. I gave you a chance and you fucked up. I'm done. Stay the fuck out of my life from now on. We aren't an item and we never will be." He jabbed his finger in Gavin's sternum. "You're too busy sucking your commander's dick to care about your home life so it should be easy."

Gavin swallowed, close to tears from the frustration and the fact that Aspen wouldn't give him a chance. He wanted to make things right. He really did. He wanted to be the albino's be all and end all like they used to. He would gladly quit his job at the precinct if Aspen would take him in, but he wouldn't even let him try. He didn't want to do it and shoot himself in the foot if Aspen was just going to turn him away. He needed to survive too, but sometimes he wondered if it would even matter. Without Aspen it was like trying to breathe underwater.

"Love, please-"

Aspen ripped open the door, shoving him out into the hall.

"Go fuck yourself Gavin!" he screamed, his blood pressure sky high. "Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"Wait, love!"

Gavin darted for the door just as Aspen slammed it shut. Panicking, he banged on it. No, no. this was not the note he wanted to leave on. True, he had come here with a bad attitude, but he had ultimately wanted to make Aspen feel more financially secure. Not make him upset. "Aspen, I'm begging you!"

The voice was muffled but Gavin could feel the hurt and anger in each word. "I'm dumping your fucking shit outside! Get the hell away from me!"

Gavin whined, banging on the door for a while longer. He heard hurried footsteps as Aspen apparently crossed the room towards the bathroom, a quiet crying noise escaping through the wood, and then another door inside slam shut. 

For a while Gavin stood there, in a complete daze. He didn't see anything but the door in front of him nor did he even hear the footsteps coming up the steps behind him. He barely reacted to the touch on his shoulder, but he turned his head slightly to appear as though he was listening.

"Um... Sir? You do know you're naked, right?"

Blinking, Gavin took those words to some depth and looked down. He was greeted by his own naked glory, various drying fluids still on his form and he blushed. Quickly he scrambled to put his pants on and turned to apologize to whomever it was that had happened across him.

He was met with two odd colored eyes and an invisible semi holy aura. He recoiled as his brain recognized angel energy and scooted away a few steps. The duel eye colored man simply quirked a thin black brow before he moved past Gavin to the door on the other side of the hall, opening it up and disappearing inside.

The vampire breathed out, frowning at the fallen's door, and took one last longing glance at his mate's before he realized his phone was in his pants pocket and he quickly scrambled down the stairs, hoping his stuff would still be there when he got outside.


	5. Admitting Defeat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes needing help is unavoidable.

After the incident, Gavin did his best to abide by his ex's new rules as to not engage him and make him even more upset. He didn't necessarily want to step back, but Aspen was angry and he really wanted him to simmer down so that they could maybe work on repairing what had been damaged further.

He put his money in the mailbox and when he came to see the kids he would buzz the apartment to let Aspen know he was down there. The albino never answered his buzz, but soon enough the kids would be down in the foyer, so he wasn't being ignored. Gavin also noted that only the older children would be the ones to come see him, the infants left upstairs with their mother. The vampire was saddened by that but he figured it was a combination of Aspen avoiding him and the fact that in order for him to see the babies would mean carting down the stroller as well so he could understand. The stroller was big as hell and he wouldn't want to drag it down either.

But on this particular Friday, one month after their wild sex-capade, Aspen spoke to him.

"Here," the albino growled as he passed the triplets over to his ex husband. 

Though his voice was gruff, Gavin could see how carefully Aspen was handling their children, making sure they were passed over with the utmost of care. When the vampire had all three of them in his hold, Aspen went back up the stairs to retrieve the monstrosity that was the stroller, the contraption making a bunch of racket as it was brought down the stairs.

Aspen huffed, wrestling with it as he finally got it down to ground level and proceeded to set it up. Gavin watched quietly, the triplets in their animal forms for the time being. They were a respectable set of black bear, lynx, and wolf fluff balls.

"Why-"

"Why am I talking to you?" Aspen finished for him, the older man nodding as he was called out. The reply probably would have been more vulgar if the kids hadn't been present but Aspen was good about watching his mouth.

Said albino snorted, plucking the babies from Gavin one by one once the stroller was fixed and ready to receive. His face was tight with displeasure at having to interact with Gavin, as if touching the vampire was a chore. But, again, his movements were careful when it came to his brood and he carefully strapped each one in after Gavin got them to shift so they would fit the seats. He stood back up to his full height when he had completed his mission.

"I have a doctor's appointment and then I have to work. My babysitter isn't going to be available so you're going to watch them until I get off. I have a short shift today so don't go anywhere too far because I want them back here as soon as I get home, got it?" Aspen informed and demanded at the same time, lip curled as he spoke. 

Gavin nodded slowly. "Yes, Aspen, that's fine. I'll just take them to the park-"

"Great. Just make sure they have fun. I could care less what you think is fine." The albino waved him off, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. Gavin watched him get a few bills out and reached out to take them when they were offered. Aspen pulled them back.

"This is for them. If you want something you get it yourself. I'm not paying anything for you." 

"...I wasn't going to get anything but alright. You have my word."

"Whatever." 

Aspen slapped the money down into Gavin's hand and then dismissed him, turning to his children. He smiled, bending down to give each of his older ones a hug and a kiss and then he tickled the bellies of each of his triplets before brushing past Gavin to exit the foyer. 

Gavin frowned sadly as his mate left, his mood rather sour. He had been doing everything Aspen had demanded he do on that day a month ago and he was still not anywhere close to maybe lessening some of the albino's ire. He didn't expect it to be easy, but come on. He was trying, practically rolling onto his back and showing his belly, and Aspen just kept biting him.

But Gavin also noted that his ex looked a little worn. His eyes had bags under them and his complexion was a tad green. He wondered if he should have tried to ask if Aspen had a cold but the man was already prickly enough. He didn't want another fight.

He shook his head and glanced down at his kids, Damon babbling on about something that had happened at school earlier that day. He felt a smile start to stretch his lips and allowed himself to forget about he and Aspen's turbulence in favor of soaking up the details regarding his children's simple lives. 

______________________

The vampire and his brood spent the remainder of the day at the park where Damon got all wet from the water system and Falco and Natalie were absolutely filthy thanks to the woodchips. Only Elizabeta and the triplets were clean and dry and Gavin was thankful they hadn't gotten into trouble. 

Before they left the park they got ice cream and enjoyed it on the way home. The kids were quite happy with the treat, making remarks that they didn't get it too often because mommy didn't have enough money. It was their collective favorite and Gavin 's heart twinged a tad at the fact that his children all vied after something so simple.

They waited in the foyer of the apartment complex until Aspen got home. The minute he stepped in the door, however, Gavin knew something was terribly amiss.

"Aspen?"

"I need to talk to you." the albino bit out. He unlocked the foyer door that lead to the stairs and motioned for the kids to head up. "Don't move."

Gavin blinked, confused, but nodded at the order. Aspen returned the gesture and scooped up his triplet's, hurrying upstairs after his kids. He wasn't gone long, and when he returned Gavin started to open his mouth to ask him what was wrong.

He didn't get the chance, Aspen's screeching cutting him off before he could begin.

"Do you know what the fuck you've done to me?!" he asked, his voice cracking as his anxiety took over. Gavin blinked in surprise.

"... I... What? What did I do?" 

Aspen fished for something in his back pocket, furiously shoving it into the vampire's face once he had it out. Gavin had to wrestle it away from Aspen in order to get a good look at it without fear that the man might shove it down his throat and what he found made both his heart flutter and his blood run cold.

"Y.... You're pregnant?" he breathed, both delighted and scared shitless.

Aspen ripped the paper out of his hands. "Yes! You fucking asshole! You fucking knocked me up, again!" he screeched, his voice reaching a near deafening pitch. 

Gavin moved to soothe the smaller man, moving partially on instinct and to save his hearing from faltering . "Aspen, I didn't mean to. It'll be okay-"

"How the fuck will it be okay?!" Aspen barked, jerking away from Gavin's slight touch on his elbow. He was breathing heavily, clearly not pleased about this and scared just as much as Gavin. "It's not fucking okay, Gavin. I'm already broke as shit. I can't afford another kid!"

He fisted his hair in his hands, red eyes wild as he grew more agitated and frantic. "I can't! I just can't! Why did you do this to me?! Why?! I can barely make ends meet now!" 

Gavin frowned in worry as his ex husband fretted. He never liked seeing Aspen upset and right now he was trying his best to keep from scooping him up and kissing him all over. However, he heard the tears coming before they stated and quickly closed the space between them to hold him tightly without a second thought. Aspen struggled, for a moment, but soon gave up and started to openly cry from frustration and worry.

"Why, Gavin? Why? Why did you do it?"

Gavin shook his head, tucking Aspen's under his chin. It was his customary position for soothing when it came to his mate and he wasn't disappointed when Aspen's sobs started to lessen. He rubbed gentle circles into the base of Aspen's spine.

"I didn't intentionally do anything to you, Aspen. I swear..."

The albino hiccupped. "But I can't afford it. I can't afford anything.... There's no way out of this..."

Gavin stroked his spine, listening. When Aspen stopped, he kissed the top of his head, nosing the silver locks there as he did so and carefully backed them up against the stucco wall inside the foyer and sat down. He tugged Aspen into his lap once seated and held him tightly. Aspen allowed it.

They sat there for a while in relative silence, Aspen sniffling. Gavin, meanwhile, was deep in thought.

He didn't want to admit it out loud but this new was just what he needed. Aspen was right in assuming that he wouldn't be able to afford having another baby by himself. Even before this new little one was born he probably wouldn't be able to get by. With his pregnancy he would need twice as much food just for himself and when he got too big he wouldn't be able to work. It was the perfect formula for Gavin to prove his case with. Aspen would need him, no doubt about it. 

Not to mention that later on all the hormones would made him more open to companionship. He just might be able to woo his mate back if he played all his cards right.

But first he had to get Aspen to admit that he needed his help.

"Aspen... I could help you."

The albino stiffened in his hold. A low growl was heard soon after and Aspen was shoving Gavin away before he knew it. 

"I don't want your fucking help." he snarled, hackles raised. "In case you haven't noticed, you're the whole reason I'm in this mess!"

Gavin didn't engage him, continuing on with his plan. _Just keep calm and don't give in._ "I'm aware. That's also why I want to help." He leaned forwards. "Come on Aspen... You said so yourself you can't afford this. If we lived together, our paychecks combined could pay for the rent easily and we would be able to spend more on food. We both know you're going to need it..."

Aspen continued to bear his teeth at him, but Gavin could see that he was thinking about it. Aspen was very intelligent. He would come around eventually. Gavin just had to keep needling him.

The vampire reached out to take one of the albino's hands. "Please, Aspen. Consider it. I don't want you to suffer. I know this was an accident but I can at least help make it comfortable." he tried again.

Aspen moved his hand away from Gavin's searching fingers, still scowling, but his eyes were downcast as the wheels in his head turned.

Gavin was right about everything. Without him he wouldn't be able to make it half way. He was already scraping the bottom of the barrel even with his second job as a hooker. If he didn't accept help he'd be up shit creek without a paddle. 

But he didn't want to admit it to Gavin that he would need him. It would be like he was signing over his independence. Still, it was either that or slowly starve for 9 months...

"...I don't want this." Aspen muttered. Gavin leaned forwards even more. 

"I know." He sought out Aspen's hand again, finding it, and slowly curled his fingers around it.

The albino breathed out long and slow through his nose, shoulder's drooping. _Almost there._ Gavin waited for the last block to fall, to mark his victory in this long battle uphill.

Aspen opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. 

"I need your help."


	6. I Wanna Love You Like Prince

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today's a good day for fast food and ball kicking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Side note: I feel like this chapter is horribly written. Forgive me.

Gavin had moved into the apartment with Aspen a week after he had admitted that he needed help. He didn't have much so the move wasn't too big of a hassle and in the end his life had been put into a total of 6 boxes. His lease had be broken at that point but it was worth it in his mind. He was finally back in the same house as his mate and his children and he'd gladly give up ten security deposits for that.

Settling in at the apartment, however, had not been as smooth a transition. Aspen, though he had said he needed help, didn't necessarily mean he was going to be hospitable to his new roomie.

For one, Gavin was not allowed to share the pull out bed with him. Aspen had quickly dashed any hopes of that as soon as he had set foot in the door, even mocking him a tad for even thinking it would be possible. The vampire told himself that he shouldn't have expected the chance but it was still painful to be told you have to sleep on the floor like a dog.

Second, Aspen was stubbornly resistant to any affections Gavin tried to bestow on him. Any and all comments or components or gestures were met with a look that could freeze help over twice.

It was frustrating, terribly so, but Gavin simply reminded himself that he had made progress just by living there. That was a good start. He was near Aspen and his kids were there to lighten the mood whenever the albino made him upset about their lack of connection. There was still hope.

In all, it took some getting used to. The pros certainly outweighed the cons so Gavin put up with the rules, simply waiting for his window of opportunity with Aspen to open up. He'd been patient this long. A few more months wouldn't kill him.

Time passed and Gavin had been living at the complex for a whole month and half when Aspen started to show. It was still really early in the pregnancy, but Aspen being a male and the fact that he was incredibly thin made the changes very pronounced. He was starting to get a little swell in his midsection that was visible through his shirts. Gavin really wanted to get a good look up close and maybe run his hands over the little baby bump but Aspen would shoot him a death glare whenever he caught him staring. It reminded Gavin that he still had a lot to work on and he might not be able to touch or stroke for some time.

Meanwhile, while Gavin was staring and fantasizing about being able to touch his stomach, Aspen was absolutely miserable. 

He was starving, quite literally, and there was nothing he could do about it. 

Things weren't as tight as before but they were still less than ideal and the kids still ate quite a lot. In his current state, was pretty sure he would eat at least half of what was bought if he was allowed the opportunity to do so but he couldn't so hunger pains became a frequent annoyance. They gnawed at him and the cramps were unbearable. He wondered if his stomach was actually eating itself when it got really bad. It hurt enough that it couldn't be too far of a stretch.

Sometimes it was so frustrating that Aspen had to go for a walk just to vent and clear his mind so he wouldn't think about stealing the food right out of his kid's mouth to support the growing one inside. That wouldn't be right and he would be a horrible mom if he allowed that to happen, even though it would mean he was hurting himself and his unborn child.

So instead he quietly suffered, the lack of nutrition and sustenance taking a toll on his body. He felt lethargic and he wasn't gaining weight like he should've. Aspen truly felt that even with his "help" this pregnancy was going to suck balls.

Today he was laying on his bed, arm slung over his face as he tried to think about anything besides food. His stomach was tweaking again and the albino honestly felt like sobbing at one point. 

It was torture. Having to sit there an endure wave after wave of crippling pain because you couldn't eat wasn't something he would wish even upon his greatest enemy.

It reminded him that he was poor as fuck and installed the legitimate fear that his lack of intake would reflect on his child when it finally came into the world. He couldn't possibly handle a baby with a defect, not anything against kids who did have one, but he just couldn't. It would be cruel for him to raise a child without the resources it needed because he couldn't afford them...

His lip wobbled just as the door opened and he quickly tried to steel himself. He so did not want Gavin to see him cry. He'd never hear the end of it if he did.

The albino focused on listening to the crinkle of plastic bags, tempted to take a peek but figured ignoring the vampire would be best. He'd probably tell him what he had brought anyway so there really was no need to ask.

Gavin set his goodies down on the floor in front of his aired up mattress. He took a second to remove his shoes before glancing over at Aspen to see what he was doing.

The albino was sprawled out on his bed, holding his belly. His scent read that he had been distressed mere moments ago and he really wanted to ask why as soon as he picked up on it. He managed to stop himself, however. 

There was no need to open up a can of worms unless Aspen offered. It was easier that way and Gavin figured that if he didn't push too much the albino might start to open up to him on his own.

But, he did have something for Aspen today, and he was hoping it would be well received. 

Gavin had noted that his mate was looking rather sickly and he often seemed uncomfortable. When they ate he was well aware that the tiny portions reserved for the man were no where near enough to what he really needed but Aspen wasn't going to admit it. He himself didn't eat any of the prepared dishes if he could help it, relying on his bagged blood to hold him out. Unfortunately that also put a dent in their money. Blood was expensive, but it was a necessity.

Still, he didn't need it every day.

In a split second decision, Gavin had taken some of his blood money and had gone out and bought one of Aspen's favorite fast food commodities: Fried chicken. Aspen was a complete junk hound and he would gladly gobble up anything covered in grease if given the chance. Gavin knew this well because for a while their dates had included going out and taking their pick of whatever grease pot was in the area and chowing down. 

He also knew that this would probably be the first real thing Aspen would get to enjoy without having to share. Gavin was really hoping that the guilt of doing so wouldn't make the albino turn his nose up at it. Aspen had sacrificed enough in his 2 years alone. He could eat the whole bucket deal and not feel sorry about it as far as he was concerned. In fact, Gavin wanted him too. He wanted Aspen to start gaining weight and being healthy.

This was the best way to start, right?

The vampire picked the bag back up and went over to Aspen's bed, standing on the other side. "Aspen... Are you up?" he tried, cautious.

"... What Gavin?" 

The exasperated tone told him further that Aspen was not in a happy state right now so he went on before the albino grew impatient.

He set the bag on the bed, rolling down the plastic and pulling things out as he explained. "I got you something, but I don't want you to feel guilty about it, ok?" He kepthis voice soft, the smell of the food wafting out of the various containers. "It's just for you."

Aspen's nose had picked up on the scent almost immediately, his arm coming down so that he could see what it was Gavin had. When he saw the spread, which consisted of a whole fucking bucket of chicken with sides, the man almost chocked on his own spit. 

He couldn't remember the last time he had actually indulged in the greasy stuff, but he knew it was sitting right in front of him now and Gavin had said it was for him. He was tempted to pounce on the items and hoard them like they were the most invaluable treasures in the world...

And then he remembered his kids.

Gavin saw the look of utter disappointment cross his mate's features. "...That's not enough to share, Gavin..." he said, quietly, as though it pained him. "Damon and the twins combined will eat most of that. There's only twelve pieces in there so you do the math. Plus they fucking love potatoes and macaroni. All that shit will be gone."

Aspen winced, tearing his gaze away from the cruel tease and turned over, determined to leave it alone. "Nice try..."

_Fuck._

Gavin shook his head, reaching over the bed and gently pulling on Aspen's shoulder to get him to turn back over. 

"No, Aspen. It's for you. It's not for the kids. They have other stuff they can eat and if they really want something different I can go get a five dollar pizza. This is all yours. You don't have to share." he tried to convince. 

The pale man snorted, shrugging off the touch. "Bullshit. I can't fucking hide anything from them. As soon as they see it they'll maul it." he growled. Aspen felt like crying all over again. "Why the fuck did you buy that anyway? I fucking dream about that shit and you bring in in here knowing the kids aren't going to just let me have it and I can't tell them no." 

The smaller man whined.

The vampire sighed. "Aspen, you have plenty of time to eat it before the kids have to be picked up. If you don't eat it all we can just hide the left overs." His expression softened. "I got it for you because I know it's your favorite... You're so skinny Aspen, it's worrying me. I just want you eat _something_ without having to constrain yourself because there are others. You're eating for two, remember? You can't starve yourself."

Aspen snipped. "But I fucking can't starve my kids either, dumbass."

"They aren't going to starve." Gavin replied firmly, tired of this. He appreciated his mate's motherly instincts but now they were becoming a danger to his and his new baby's health. He ran a hand over his face."I promise they won't. You know I wouldn't let that happen. But I can't sit here and watch you waste away. Please... Just eat it."

Aspen offered no rebuttal. He remained laying on his side turned away from the food. For a while Gavin thought he might have bought the bucket for nothing when the pregnant man finally started to stir. He waited, hopeful.

Slowly shifting on the bed and sitting up, Aspen looked at Gavin, serious. "...You promise you'll buy them a fucking pizza if they ask for it?"

Gavin nodded. "Yes. Of course." 

_Whatever you want. I just want you to eat._

Aspen's hard eyes searched his own for a few moments, narrowed as though his ex might be lying, but then a look of relief came over him as he reached for the items that were his. 

"...Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Gavin stood there for a second, wanting to make sure Aspen would eat, and he wasn't disappointed when his mate started to dive into his goodies. He wondered vaguely if maybe a family bucket was bit much but Aspen's appetite seemed ravenous enough that the thought was quickly dismissed. He went to his bed as Aspen opened the containers and sat down, taking the laptop and scrolling through Netflix to see what there was to watch. 

Aspen gorged himself as though his life depended on it. 

He knew he probably looked like a total slob but he was so fucking hungry. He hadn't been expecting to be lavished with food items like this, or anything at all to be honest, but in that moment he felt like he should be sobbing at Gavin's feet. The vampire had gone and bought him something he hadn't been able to for years and had given it to him, reassuring him he didn't have to share. Aspen loved his children but it was such a fucking relief to not have to shell out his food. He could finally eat his fill and not have to worry about if he was taking too much. 

Gavin said nothing while he devoured almost everything in the bucket. The sides were polished off no problem, biscuits and all, and all that was left were two drumsticks that Aspen couldn't find room for. 

He felt sleepy after his feast but he reminded himself that he was covered in oil and other various thing so he got off his bed and cleaned up after himself. He took his leftovers and hid them in a plastic baggie in the very, very back of the fridge before he washed his hands and his mouth. Afterwards he waddled back over to his mattress and crawled back onto it, exhausted and, for once, full.

It felt wonderful, the hunger pains non existent and nothing but a pleasing hum in the back of his mind. Aspen wondered if this was what it was like to be completely blissed out. He wasn't sure a food coma qualified as such but he really didn't care either way.

He would've fallen asleep right there if Gavin hadn't spoken. He gave a grunt, struggling to stay awake and get the vampire to repeat what he had said.

"Do you feel better?" Gavin asked, still on his spot on the floor. He watched as Aspen's brow furrowed for a second before smoothing over, a small smile finding it's way to his lips.

"Mhm." was the reply Gavin was given and the man wanted to chuckle. 

"Good. I'm glad." He turned his attention back to the computer. "Go to sleep love. I'll get the kids."

"...mk...." 

_____________________

After how well the first time had gone, Gavin did his best to continue to give Aspen the calorie count he needed to flesh out and feel good. He liked seeing his mate happy and relaxed. He was already undergoing a lot of physical stress thanks to the baby. No reason to make him endure more. 

His tactics of catering to the albino were also working in his favor. Though Aspen never demanded Gavin buy him anything, he knew the man was starting to rely on him to pull through when he could. Those absolutely relieved little glances when he would surprise him with his own things were more than enough proof to the vampire that Aspen was starting to let some of his guard down. He was still prickly and angry, but he would always thank Gavin earnestly when he had food.

In a way, Gavin kind of felt like he was bringing home the kill so to speak. His gifts were what was giving Aspen a break between his crippling hunger pains and he knew the albino was very, very thankful for that. He was being useful. 

He was needed and damn did it feel good to be so.

Aspen was about 3 months along now and he was bow sporting a proper belly. Again, the fact that he was male made everything look larger but Gavin wasn't complaining. He liked this look. Aspen was positively glowing and his scent was a pleasing mixture of both of theirs. It made Gavin feel relaxed and all the extra hormones in the air always made things interesting.

He really wanted to be able to touch, as he had done while they had been married, but Aspen had showed no signs of wanting that sort of attention so Gavin didn't push. He just watched from afar and when Aspen took naps or slept in he was allowed to linger a little closer and get a better look without the man knowing. Gavin knew it was kind of creepy but what could he do? It was either that or nothing and he didn't want to miss a single moment.

However, instead of being asleep and allowing Gavin his guilty pleasure, tonight Aspen was tossing and turning in clear frustration. 

The vampire had been watching his mate flip and flop for about 2 hours now. He had no idea why he was so uneasy, but his scent wasn't relaying anything distressful so he stayed put and kept a watchful eye. He didn't really need to sleep and he couldn't exactly try when his room mate was constantly moving about so it wasn't too much of a bother. Aspen, of course, didn't know he was watching. 

Gavin continued to be puzzled over what could be so troublesome when the covers went flying off the bed and Aspen was pushing down his boxer briefs with a low growl. His eyebrows flew into his hairline at the change and immediately his attention firmly cemented on what Aspen was doing, as if it weren't already.

The albino shoved his underwear down his legs as far as his bulging belly would allow, kicking them off the rest of the way. When they were successfully removed, Aspen's hand flew to his crotch and he stifled a gasp when he wrapped his fist around his raging hard on. The relief was immediate, but no where near what he needed to be satisfied.

The damned thing had been bothering Aspen for what seemed like forever. No matter how much he had tried to ignore it he couldn't. It was so fucking annoying that the man had finally drew the line and was determined to take care of it so that he might be able to get some sleep before he had to get up. Just because he was pregnant didn't mean he didn't continue to haul ass.

He gave a slow stroke and bit his lip to quiet the moan that wanted to make itself known.

In the back of his mind Aspen knew this was a bad idea. His ex was sleeping on the floor mere feet away from him and if he woke up and saw him jerking off he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold himself back from jumping on Gavin's dick instead for a real good time. He had to hurry up and get this over with.

Aspen let his legs fall open and he gave himself another slow pull before he switched the pace and started to really jerk himself. His face screwed up as jolts of pleasure danced along his spine and his free hand immediately flew to his chest. He rolled one of his nipples between his fingers, arching up into it mere seconds later.

"O-oooh..." he whispered, biting his lip again soon after his little slip. Hopefully it hadn't woken Gavin up...

Just to make sure the vampire was still asleep, Aspen turned his head to peer over at the mass that should've been on the air mattress. Instead it was empty and Aspen froze. 

Where the fuck was he?

Panicked, Aspen's eyes darted around in the dark to try and spot his ex. Maybe he had rolled off and was under his bed or some shit. Aspen scooted towards the edge of his bed and looked over. 

He was practically hanging off the edge of his bed when he felt the mattress dip and then something wet and warm lave the underside of his prick.

The shock of it punched the air straight out of Aspen's lungs as the albino struggled to put two and two together. When he did, he was equal parts upset and pleasantly surprised. Gavin never seemed the type to suck someone off.

He scrambled back up onto the bed, sitting up to look over his belly and spot Gavin totally snacking on his dick like it was the tastiest thing ever. He felt his face flame at the embarrassment of being caught and the fact that he was liking what was going on. The lewdness of it all was completely unexpected.

"W-" He panted. "What the fuck are you doing?"

Wow. Way smooth.

Gavin looked up at him, licking another long stripe along the underside of Aspen's angry cock. "Helping you out." he replied, his hand encasing the albino's length. He was small so there wasn't much but neither were complaining. Gavin thought it fit Aspen perfectly and Aspen was a receiver, not a giver so he didn't give a fuck about his own length.

Aspen, however, seemed to be having trouble functioning. His legs were confused on if they wanted to close or stay open and his breath was short and ragged. His hands were clenched in his sheets, tightening every now and then. He looked like he might spontaneously combust from it all.

As a last resort Aspen flashed Gavin a very meek glare that was quickly wiped away when the vampire gave him a little tug. No. He didn't want him angry. He was just here to help.

"Oh god...." Aspen whined in reaction, head tilting back. His hips rocked into the friction, greedy for more.

Gavin moved slowly, simply letting Aspen rut up into his fist but never going faster than what he had started with. He rested his cheek on the swell of the man's belly as he whimpered and squirmed under his minute ministrations.

The vampire purred quietly, drunk on his mate's oozing hormones and his scent. This was perfect, but he remembered that he hadn't really asked. He had better remedy that now.

"Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked, hoping it would be no. He was surprised when instead of getting a verbal reply Aspen's hands flew to his shoulders and held him there, the smaller man's hips bucking up.

"Please, god no..." Aspen whispered brokenly. He shuddered briefly before he pushed his hips up further, silently asking Gavin to continue. "It won't go away..."

Purring still, Gavin crawled up further and nosed Aspen's neck gently. He didn't need to be asked twice but at the same time he didn't know if this was what Aspen really wanted or what he thought he wanted. With that uncertainty, Gavin didn't continue and it earned him a frustrated groan from his mate for his stalling.

Gavin kissed Aspen's neck in apology. "Are you sure? I don't want you to be mad at me later..." he murmured against pale skin, hand still on his mate's dick. Aspen was literally angry all the time. He didn't want to add fuel to the fire and he would only keep going if Aspen promised he wouldn't snap at him once he was finished.

The albino sighed in a pleased manner at the kisses, baring his neck for more but quickly frowned as Gavin asked him if he was sure. 

"That's a dumb fucking question," he bit out, all at once angry. "You're the one that hopped up here. If I didn't want it I would've kicked you in the fucking face already."

The albino rolled his hips and reached down between them to put his hand over Gavin's and encourage him to start moving. Gavin grunted in surprise, hand following Aspen's instructions without hesitation and the pale man cooed.

"Just... Ah... Like that. Don't ask me any more dumb shit." Aspen breathed. His eyes fluttered shut and he moved to lay back down, apparently done talking. 

Gavin let him settle back down fully against the mattress, sliding back down to lavish attention on his mate's swollen belly once more. His gentle kisses and nuzzles paired with the slow pumping tactic he was using on the albino's cock elicited soft moans from Aspen. The quiet sounds were his reassurances that he was doing it right.

Keeping the pace, it didn't take long for Aspen to start to get a little worked up. He had put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from being too loud but he was once again pushing his hips up into Gavin's fist to increase the speed as he got closer to the end.

By now the vampire's hand was slicked with Aspen's precum. With every stroke or thrust, the smallest of squelching noises could be heard. The noise added to the erotic factor, second only to the actual sight. Gavin wanted his mate to see but Aspen had his eyes closed and even if he wanted to see his belly was in the way. 

Suddenly the mental image of Aspen straining to see over his mound sent a rush of heat to his loins. Gavin could almost taste the childish frustration as Aspen failed to get to view his own lewdness and he imagined that the albino would be dusted in a pretty blush that would compliment his eyes oh so nicely...

"F-fuck... So close...." Aspen whimpered quietly, turning his head so that he was panting into his pillow. 

Drawn from his thoughts, Gavin perked at those words. He placed one last kiss on his mate's bulging navel and sat up a bit more so he could see the man's face clearly. His mate's expression as he visited nirvana would be his reward for helping out. A fair trade if you asked him.

He pumped his fist a bit faster, Aspen's back arching in response. The albino's mouth fell open and his hands scrambled to find something to hold onto. Nothing, however, seemed to be a sufficient anchor so his hands ended up running over his stomach, cupping the underside. His heels dug into the mattress and when he came he snapped his hips up, crying out.

"Oh god, oh god...." Aspen whined, forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet. His hips came back down to the bed and he clenched his legs closed, trapping Gavin's arm between them. They were trembling, slightly sticky from sweat, but no where near as sticky as his cock had become.

Gavin slowed down to a crawl, milking his ex husband for every drop he had to offer. The noises had gotten worse thanks to the viscous cum and there was quite a mess but to the vampire it looked like art. The pearly strands had painted the underside and even part of the top of Aspen's tummy in random drippy patterns. 

It was hot.

Slowly, Gavin stopped palming his ex's dick once he had stopped shuddering and waited for Aspen to let his arm go. Except he never did. 

In his post orgasmic bliss Aspen had totally blocked out what was going around him as he sighed and stretched his arms over his head, murmuring under his breath. He didn't sound mad but Gavin listened closely, wanting to know what he was saying anyway just in case it would pop up later.

"Felt so good baby..." Aspen muttered to himself, forgetting his husband could probably hear him. He nuzzled his pillow. "Always do know how to make me feel good..."

Gavin's pride soaked up the words of praise.

Again Aspen had called him his old pet name and had aid he had done good. That couldn't just be coincidence. It had to mean that Aspen was warming up to him. Any other reason was just asinine, his mind concluded. 

The vampire was so convinced that that had to be the case that he felt a bit cocky and a new plan formed in his head as he waited to be released.

When his mate finally relinquished his grip on his arm he leaned over the still dazed albino and locked gazes with him. His cheeks were adorably flushed, red eyes half lidded from pleasure. He was so cute Gavin almost felt sorry for what he was about to do.

Almost.

"I always make you feel good, do I?" he teased, stroking the man's silvery locks. His eyes sparkled with mirth as the albino's widened in shock. He chuckled.

"Gotcha."

Aspen kicked him in the groin.


	7. Planning For The Future

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angels and green eyed monsters.

Being kneed in the groin had marked the point where Gavin had been put back at square one with his ex. 

In hindsight he supposed it hadn't been a wise idea to tease Aspen about what he had said but he had been feeling so confident that everything was starting to mend that it had seemed alright.

Well, now he was wiser. Never make fun of Aspen unless he wanted his balls to be kicked to kingdom come.

Currently the vampire was finishing up work. He was eager to get home, drawn to the thrum of activity the kids created and his ex husband's ever growing waist line. Pretty soon Aspen would have to call off work. His clothes wouldn't be able to hide him for too much longer.

The vampire punched out, preparing to head out the door when his neighbor came into sight. 

Gavin blinked, looking back towards the row of chairs where recently arrested patrons were told to wait while they were processed. Sure enough his neighbor was sitting there in handcuffs, quietly playing with a rubix cube. 

He shuffled over, curiosity getting the better of him. "Hey," he spoke, a bit louder than he intended. The fallen glanced up, expression bored.

"Yes?"

"...You're my neighbor. The fallen with the weird eyes."

Wow. He sounded so intelligent...

The angel tilted his head, not seeming to be ringing the same bell as Gavin and the vampire didn't quite blame him. With his vague description he wouldn't have gotten it either. Eventually, though, a slight look of dawning made the paler man's face light up.

"Oh, yes," he began. The nameless angel pointed his finger at Gavin "You're the one who was standing naked in my hallway, correct?" 

A few snickers were elicited from the other arrested patrons a few chairs down at that. Gavin frowned, flashing them a glare before settling that same stern look on the fallen in front of him.

"Yes... That's me."

The man gave a sort of half chuckle, half snort in reply, leaning back in his plastic chair. His mismatched eyes sized Gavin up. "Never would have figured you were a cop." he mused. "Neighbor, you say?

Gavin furrowed his brow. He didn't know if he should be offended by the previous statement. It sounded like an insult. Thankfully, before he could get all up in arms about the mystery wording, the topic was changed and he was able to focus on replying to the question.

"Yes. I've actually been living there for about two months now but I haven't seen you since our first...encounter." He gestured towards the shackles on the angel's wrists. "I assume that this is probably why we haven't crossed paths again."

At that, the angel's posture shifted and his expression went stony.

"The reason I'm here has nothing to do with me but the with incompetence of the justice system." he bit out, somehow managing to give the impression he was bearing his teeth and near snarling while remaining completely composed. The skill of it was scary, in all honesty, and even Gavin was taken aback by it.

Still, the jab towards his profession made Gavin rethink leaving the angel alone. 

"Well we don't just arrest people for nothing. Obviously you did something wrong, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting in that chair with your wrists shackled." the vampire snorted, puffing up his chest slightly as he spoke with an authoritative tone. The angel was being a little too pompous for his position. Gavin was the law system, after all, and it could only be judged that the other man had done something bad to have him there that afternoon.

The vampire peered down is nose at what he was sure to be a gawking angel. Instead he was met with quiet, smoldering fury and the image of the rubix cube meeting it's end as the fallen clenched his fist and crushed the toy into several broken pieces. 

Uh oh.

"Your idea of justice is skewed beyond comprehension. You arrest people because of their race and judge them on statistics that have nothing to do with the individual. You happen upon a scene and you take it as is, even when witnesses offer their testimonies. You believe what you want to and you twist the arms of the judges to make them see your way." 

The man leaned forwards in his seat, hands gripping the end of the plastic between his open legs . It warped under his strength and Gavin moved backwards, only slightly. "Though you think you're doing well you're just harming people. Plenty of innocent, good Samaritans have been wrongly incarcerated and I, for one, do not plan on being another victim."

He growled at Gavin, daring the vampire to challenge him further on the topic. He was coiled and ready to pounce, composure gone and his whole body language reading that he would totally smite the cop where he stood.

"William!"

And then the anger was gone. 

Gavin watched as the aggression switch was flipped off and a woman entered the space, hurrying over to the fallen without any consideration to his presence. He blinked, confused, but also felt the twinge of jealousy as he recognized a mating bond at it's truest.

"I can't leave you anywhere," the woman chided, shaking her head as William smiled up at her with the tiniest of grins. "Seriously, Will, you scared me. I thought you were in jail or something."

William practically purred, nuzzling his mate's stomach. Her arms came up and gently held him in that position, stroking his hair. 

"I'm fine, my dear. Just a mix up." he said. He pulled away and glanced up at her. "Did you get the money though?"

The woman nodded, her face displaying an expression that read she wasn't impressed. "Yeah. I just paid it. They said you're good to go." She put her hand on his head once more, stroking him like he was her favorite pet. 

"I can't believe you got arrested for helping that woman out... She was being attacked!" she muttered. "You would think they would back you up."

William nodded. "Yes, I know. Unbelievable." He shook his head. "However, I'd rather not relive the humiliation of being punished for a good deed, darling, so can we not talk about it? I'd much rather go home and just be with you. That will certainly make all of this worth forgetting." 

The two continued to chat, Gavin forgotten. The vampire lingered, hanging onto every word and gesture of affection the two shared.

He remembered when he and Aspen had been like that; when they had shared gentle touches and pet names as freely as they shared the air. It had been glorious and the more he watched the tender interactions the more upset he found himself becoming. 

These two were rue partners who shared a bond. They supported and cared for one another equally. They didn't fight and curse at each other... 

The jealousy built up so quickly that Gavin had to flee the precinct for fear he might start ranting. 

Once outside, he walked until he got to his car and quickly locked himself inside. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm himself. The anger, however, wouldn't be sated so easily.

It wasn't fair that a couple like that got to be so happy. It really wasn't. He had a mate, but his was stubborn and mean and refused to acknowledge that their souls were tied. Aspen did nothing to try and please him or try to bring their relationship back to how it had been. He was just ornery and bitchy, purposely looking for fights and any reason to make Gavin feel like shit for caring about him.

The vampire clenched his fists until his knuckles were white, breathing harshly through his nose.

Aspen could be a lot more respectful for what he did for him. He really didn't have to offer to help out with this pregnancy. he could just walk away, let the albino go back to selling himself. Maybe when he was still getting fucked while 8 months pregnant he'd realize how much he had lost.

A sudden pain in his chest made Gavin change his tune. No... He could never do that. Even though Aspen was mean and ungrateful at times he was still his mate and his whole reason for acting out was a response to how he had treated their marriage. 

He couldn't be mad at Aspen and wish such hurtful things on him when I had been his fault in the first place...

Gavin sighed, the anger leaving him as his lungs expelled stale air. This was all his fault. If he should be mad at anyone it should be himself. Aspen was innocent.

Still, it would be nice to have a conversation with the albino without him cursing at him or insulting him for something. The problem was Gavin had no idea how to get to that point. He knew how to wine and dine, but he didn't have the money for that just yet and he didn't want to spoil his mate if he was just going to be a potty mouth and stay closed off.

...

But maybe he could start small.

Gavin tapped his chin. Small... Hm. A picnic maybe? Yes, that could work. It wouldn't be anything too fancy and it would give Aspen a chance to maybe really be nice to him instead of pretending to be nice because of the atmosphere. There was also a nice park that wasn't too far away that they could go to. It had lots of shade and the weather was still warm enough. He could totally pull this off.

Deep down, Gavin knew he was still being the only one to really give anything to this relationship. It was lopsided and sad. Yet, he didn't care. He had this gut feeling that, as long as he kept trying, Aspen would come back to him and he could prove to the silver haired man that he was everything and anything to him.

Gavin nodded once to himself as he started his car and put it in park. 

The plan was solid. He just had to get Aspen to agree.


	8. I Just Wanna Make You Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proposals and fireflies.

"Are you fucking listening to yourself?" Aspen's cold tone cut through the air, shredding Gavin's confidence along with it.

The vampire had hurried home, his plan having been rehearsed inside his car the whole drive there. He had spent what seemed like forever practiving how he would bring it about and how he would deal with Aspen's most predictable refusal.

Fantasy, however, had nothing on real life and right now real life was 5'3, pregnant, and all kinds bitchy.

Gavin nodded, swallowing thickly. "Yes. I thought it might be a good idea for us to spend time together... We haven't really gotten the chance since I moved in..."

Aspen rolled his eyes. "Duh. That was the point." He scowled. "There's no way I'm going to the park with you. Go pull that cassanova shit on someone else." 

He waved Gavin away as he turned over on his bed, dismissing the cop and his idea. There was no way he was going to let Gavin try to woo him or whataver it was he had in his head at the moment. 

So not happening.

Gavin, however, was panicking slightly. He never expected Aspen to accept but, unlike in the car, he had no rehearsed lines to fit the conversation. This left him stranded, goldfishing for what to say to keep the conversation going and to get Aspen to see it his way. He floundered for quite some time before he finally came up with something half baked enough to possibly pass for a good argument.

"But it'll be like a day off." he blurted, hoping Aspen was listening. "Think about it: We go to the park and do whatever we want and have fun. No kids, no jobs to worry about, and no cap on the fun factor. Plus, food. Anything you want, within reason." Gavin bit his lip. "Please?"

Aspen, however, made no move to turn over or show Gavin that he was listening. That would be too nice of him and he really wasn't that interested until the vampire started to explain what this day would entitle. 

It did sound kind of fun, and he did need a break from the kids every now and then... 

Maybe he should go. 

It wasn't like it was a date or anything, and they weren't going out to a restaurant. It was just the park, full of other people's snotty nosed brats and stuck up ghetto teenagers that thought they were the shit. He could handle that no problem.

And, bonus, there wouldn't be any upperclass atmosphere or rules to follow that would prevent him from cursing Gavin out at some point if he needed too.

It was perfect.

Slowly, little by little, Aspen started to give. He had already kind of made up his mind prior to but he wanted to make sure before he honored Gavin with a verbal response.

"Just to the park?" he asked for clarification.

"Yes."

Aspen almost wanted to chuckle. He could pratically taste the desperation rolling off of Gavin.

It was disgusting and amusing all at once. 

"...Alright. I'll go. You better make it good though."

With that, he went back to ignoring him and Gavin had to pinch himself just to be sure he wasn't dreaming.

Aspen had said yes.

He said yes.

_Yes!_

____________________

Aspen managed to arrange for William to babysit the kids while Gavin was out packing things in the car. The vampire had no idea the man he had almost gotten into it with at the police station was the man who took care of his kids when they were unavailable and it would probably stay that way so long as Aspen played his cards right. Not that he gived a shit if Gavin liked William or not. The fallen was damned good at what he did and his kids were always well taken care of when in his care.

The pale man bid the fallen goodbye as he departed down the stairs, on his way to meet Gavin downstairs. He had dressed in comfortable clothes, trying to stay away from anything tight fitting. In the end he had settled for sweats and a t shirt that rolled up slightly on the bottom to allow for his belly. He had a hoodie on over that and some comfortable kicks. The weather was cooling now that summer was over and since it was later in the day the hoodie would keep whatever chill there was at bay.

He reached the last step and quickly exited the building through the foyer door, looking around for his dork of an ex husband. He spotted the man as he waved at him from across the street, beckoning him to come get in the car. 

Aspen rolled his ruby red eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets. 

Too late to turn back. May as well get it over with.

He trudged forwards to the car, crossing the street and getting in.

Gavin beamed at him as he buckled up, attempting to make small talk as they drove to the designated park area. Aspen ignored the chit chat, the scenery of his window much more interesting than Gavin's gums. The vampire either didn't notice or didn't care about the lack of response because he kept talking anyway.

The drive wasn't too long and when they got to the park Gavin carried most of the items so Aspen wouldn't feel burdened. The albino carried the lightest item, which was their blanket to sit on, while Gavin carried the cooler and a big umbrella, as well as a bag full of smaller items that had yet to be disclosed.

They set up in a grassy spot next to the trees. The "park" was more of a beach, once one examined it's contents. There was grass and a playground section that counted as normal green space but the other half was sand and water that the lakefront claimed. It was a nice combination and Aspen took a second to enjoy the breeze as it mussed his hair. 

They were well away from the sand so there was no chance of it getting on their blanket or clothes but the water was still within walking distance. 

Aspen would give Gavin credit for this one. He had picked a great spot to do this, even if it was still a stupid idea.

"Do you want to eat first?" Gavin asked, pulling Aspen from his thoughts. "I bought a few things for us to share. Theres a chicken salad with cranberries, some fresh fruit, and two wraps. Ones regular chicken and the other is spicy chicken. I'll let you choose."

Aspen listened to the list of items available, silently impressed. "Spicy probably isn't a good idea. It'll give me gas or something." he explained, moving to sit down on the blanket under the umbrella. "But yeah, we can eat." 

Gavin nodded. "Ok."

They ate in silence for the most part, not much conversation to be had. Afterwards, Gavin once again attempted to get his ex to engage him, even just a little.

"Do you want to go into the playground?"

"...Isn't that a bit childish?"

"Maybe. We're allowed to be kids now and again, right? Come on. We can sit on the swings or something."

"I guess..."

Gavin got up and extended his hand to Aspen to help him do the same. His offer went untaken and Aspen helped himself up. Gavin tried to not let it disappoint him as they walked over to the empty park, finding the swings and sitting down.

He started to slowly swing back and forth while Aspen walked around to get on. The chains squeaked and groaned as all swings do and Gavin listened to it for a moment before he became interested in watching Aspen.

The pregnant man carefully lowered himself to sit on the tiny seat, scooting back so that his feet would dangle. He didn't attempt to swing though and Gavin came up with an idea. 

"Can I push you?" he asked.

Aspen's head whipped around to stare at him, brows knit together in confusion. "What?"

"Can I push you? On the swing?" 

"Oh..."

"I won't go high, I promise."

"...I... I guess. Yeah. Don't do it high though."

The vampire nodded and hopped up, going up behind his mate and leaned forwards. Gavin hooked his fingers around the chains and pulled his mate back just a little bit. The albino gripped his section of the chain a bit tighter in preparation to be betrayed or something other. Gavin, however, kept to his word. When he let go the swing moved forwards in a gentle and low arch which increased gradually to a moderate swing with each gentle push.

"Havin' fun?"

"...Yeah."

They played on the swingset for a bit longer until Aspen asked to get down. Once he had, they explored the rest of the park amenities which included the little rocking animals, the teeter toter, and the monkey bars. Gavin took a gamble at trying to impress his ex with physical talents as he hung upside down from the bars. It earned him a mild snort of amusement but he knew Aspen was focused on everything but him.

He was once again saddened but he took into attention what it was that had more of his mates attention. If he could harness that and make the smaller man happy then maybe this outting wouldn't be a failure.

He followed Aspen's gaze and saw him looking out towards the lake front. The vampire hummed, getting off the bars. 

"Let's go walk along the lake." He suggested, taking off his shoes. 

When he finished, Aspen was staring at him again. 

"Now?" the albino asked, voice having some slight hesitance to it. It wasn't much though so Gavin pressed on.

"Mhm. Come on. Maybe we can find a few shells or something." 

Gavin turned and walked away towards the shore, leaving Aspen to make up his mind on his own. The move surprised the albino and he furrowed his brow in confusion once more before he sat and removed his shoes, tucking them near Gavin's. He then crossed the grass and stepped onto the sand, slowly following.

Closer to the water, Aspen found he enjoyed the breeze even move as it whipped his hair about. The air was clean and refreshing. Only the tiniest bit of moisture could be felt on his skin as the waves lapped the shore. 

He had always liked the idea of beaches. They were the highlight of summer. Everyone went to them for a day full of fun and surf.

Everyone except him.

Aspen had never been able to enjoy a real beach day. His skin was too sensitive for the harsh sun and no amount of sunscreen protected against its harmful affects. 

Plus, he was Albino.

There was no way someone like him, who was always blanche white, would fit into a crowd of blonde, bronzed bodies. It didn't work and he would be the laughing stock of the beach if he tried. He may have had an attitude but his skin wasn't that thick. 

It was better he just stayed inside and covered up while everyone flaunted their skin. The chillier days of fall were more his style and would probably be the only time he would consider coming up here. 

An abandoned beach was an ideal beach. Crowds were overrated...

Aspen turned away from the water slightly as Gavin came up his him, excited. His pants were wet at the hem, Gavin having neglected to roll them up, but this slight discomfort was easily shadowed by whatever it was he had in his hand.

"Look. I found it in the sand a little ways down," Gavin breathed as he let Aspen see.

In his palm was a complete half shell of the prettiest opal like coloring Aspen had ever seen. He knew finding shells at a lake was slim pickings, so the fact that he had found one was remarkable in itself. The color, however, was stunning.

"It's gorgeous..." Aspen replied, carefully extracting the object from Gavin's hand so that he could hold it in his own. He silently marveled over the details for a few moments before handing it back.

"You should keep it. It's really pretty..."

Gavin turned the shell over in his hand once or twice before he shook his head. "No." He extended it to Aspen. "You keep it. It fits you better."

The albino looked between Gavin and the shell, not sure he should take it. He didn't want to give Gavin any ideas, but the beauty of the little late marvel soon made any hesitance a hindrance. 

He plucked it from his ex's hand once more, closely examining it. 

"...Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Gavin beamed at his partner as he accepted his gift and turned to go find more shells. The lake, however, didn't have much so in the end he settled for walking with Aspen between the piers, making small conversation as they went.

"Do you still want to be a vet?" Gavin asked, hands in his jean pockets. Aspen shrugged. 

"Yeah... But I don't have the time anymore."

"You could always take classes online."

"I know... I just, I dunno. I've kinda lost the spark. School just isnt top priority right now. Plus school loans would put me on the street in a heart beat..."

"Oh. Yeah..."

The vampire bit his lip as he tried to think of a way to lighten the mood again. He shouldn't have brought up school as a topic. That was dumb and a minefield to go through.

Stupid, stupid.

There were a few moments of weird silence between them before Gavin perked, a new idea coming to light.

"Do you ant to build a sand castle?"

"... A wha... Gavin, how could we possibly do that? We didn't bring any tools. And aren't we a little old for that sort of thing?"

"Nope. Come on, it'll be fun. That _was_ the whole point of this trip, after all. To have fun, that is." 

Gavin lowered himself to the sand, brushing away the top layers to get to the cooler, moist ones on the bottom. He started to dig, wanting to get as much as he could so that they could build something decent. 

Aspen watched him for a moment, perplexed by the man's ideas of fun. It was strange to see the vampire wanting to do kiddie stuff like play in the sand. Gavin had never seemed the type. He was a masculine alpha male, after all. 

Still, the longer Aspen watched him dig out the sand and start to shape it the more he wanted to join in. 

It couldn't hurt to, could it?

Aspen fought with the idea for a little longer. _Fuck it,_ he thought, lowering himself down to his knees to help out. Gavin smiled at him as he did so, the albino pinking slightly. He quickly scowled and turned his nose up at the vampire, focusing completely on the task at hand.

Together they scraped at the sand on the lonely expanse of beach, nothing to rush them except their own wills. They built the sand up until it was a formidible pile and then proceeded from then on, messily shaping out towers and a courtyard in the center. It was by no means the biggest or most handsome sand castle, but in the end it was something.

Gavin smiled at his ex as they put the finishing touches on their project, stepping back once they had. The structure was a little lopsided from far away, and one of the "towers" was starting to crack and fall apart, yet the vampire thought it looked good enough to take a picture.

"It's not _that_ great." Aspen mumbled from his right as he snapped a pic with his phone.

"Yes it is. We made it, remember?" he replied. 

Aspen gave a soft snort but didn't protest.

They left their sandcastle and headed back to their blanket. The sun was starting to set and Gavin decided now was the time to disclose what he had in his bag.

He revealed a package of sparklers, dragon made. He explained at Aspen's rather dubious look that they changed color as they burned. It got the albino's attention and once they lit them he was thrilled.

"They really do change color!" the pale man exclaimed, smiling despite himself. He giggled and proceeded to write in the air with the sparkling stick, Gavin joining him soon after.

They went through the whole box that way, scrawling non lasting messages on the night sky. Gavin didn't care much about the fact that they didn't stick, much more enthralled with the delighted face of his mate that was highlighted by the glow of the sparks.

When they ran out, they settled for catching fireflies. There weren't many, due to the cooling weather, but what were left were quickly scooped up by the vampire who took them back to his ex. Aspen would then place them in the empty fruit container and watch them light up while Gavin went to find more. 

There wasn't a single mean word said between them as the hours stretched, the sky darkening to its deepest hue of blue. They had stopped catching fireflies and were chatting, about everything and nothing at the same time.

Gavin must've said something funny because all at once Aspen was laughing. And it wasn't a mocking laugh, or even a giggle, but an honest laugh and the vampire swore his heart fluttered with it. 

When Aspen composed himself, he spoke, reverant. "I haven't seen you laugh like that in years..."

The albino blinked, taken aback. He frowned and looked away. 

"Hasn't been much to be happy about."

Gavin sat there, watching him scowl. He leaned to the side slightly, trying to meet the other's gaze. "But you were happy today, right?" he asked, reaching out and putting his hand on Aspen's knee.

Aspen looked at it, then back at him. Even in the dark Gavin could tell when the other was blushing. 

"...Yeah, I guess." He tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, letting his gaze drop to his lap. 

Gavin gave his knee a gentle squeeze. "...Could we do this again, maybe?"

Aspen didn't look up. His fingers pulled on a piece of thread that was coming off the blanket. 

"I dunno..."

The vampire deflated slightly, but soon bounced back. He hadn't said no, persay, so the offer wasn't completely closed.

He squeezed Aspen's knee again, taking what he was given. 

"That's ok. Don't worry. I'll make it fun. I promise. Whenever we do go again, you won't be disappointed, ok?"

"...Ok..."

"Ok."


	9. Thunder, Thunder, Thunder! Thundercats, HO!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Achy backs and thunderclaps.

Gavin puttered about the kitchen, fixing up dinner for his family. He had picked up the chore after he had moved in, since it used to be his duty before they had gotten divorced, and he was happy to do it. He didn't mind standing in the kitchen and using his culinary skills. If he didn't have people to cook for he probably wouldn't remember how to boil water right, in all honesty.

He was chopping onions when his mate waddled in for something to drink. He squeezed in close to the counter to allow Aspen room to get by, watching him out of the corner of his eye in case he needed anything.

The albino opened the fridge, reaching inside for the water jug. He pulled it out and set it on the counter behind him, grabbing a glass and filling it. He was in the middle of putting the container back when he made a noise of discomfort and faltered in his stance. 

Gavin immediately set his utensils down and grabbed his mate's arm, his free hand flying to the other's lower back and offering support. Aspen's hand went over his seconds later. His slender fingers were soft and warm.

"Are you okay?" Gavin whispered, concerned. His eyebrows knit together in worry.

Aspen didn't answer him right away. Instead he made another quiet sound of disapproval before straightening up slowly. 

"Um... Yeah. Yeah. Just hurts..." he breathed. He rubbed his back gently. 

Gavin nodded. He let go of Aspen's arm but he kept his other hand on the small of the albino's back just in case. 

He eyed the smaller man's bulging belly as Aspen focused on rubbing away the ache in his spine, unable to stop himself from catching a glimpse when possible. It was like peeping into the girl's locker room in hopes of catching something big. He knew it wasn't the same as looking for naked girls but the thrill was no different.

From his little observation, Aspen was certainly starting to fill out. All his sharp edges were rounding and now he looked wonderfully soft and plush. He was still perhaps a tad bit underweight but it was much better from when he had first moved in so that was good. His stomach was now fully over the edge of the elastic of his sweats. Sweats, as such, were now about the only thing Aspen wore since they were stretchy and didn't dig into his skin. 

Aspen complained that he felt messy because of his restricted wardrobe.

Gavin thought he looked adorable.

The vampire let his eyes rove for as long as possible. He finally had to pay attention to Aspen's face when said man started to move, brushing his hand away.

"I'm fine."

"Sorry." 

Gavin stepped back to allow Aspen space to leave the kitchen, watching him go. He remained ready to spring into action as needed but Aspen ended up making it back to his bed without further incident. The kids chattered to him as he got comfortable, watching the computer as one of their favorite movies played. 

Gavin was once again left alone in the kitchen once all was said and done. He pouted slightly, wanting to be with the group, but he reminded himself that he was here to be a provider and that came first.

He turned his attention back to his cooking and proceeded to finish chopping the onion.

______________

Late that night, Gavin caught a break.

The vampire had been dozing, asleep even though a rather nasty storm had decided to grace Chicago land with it's presence. He had never been very afraid of storms so even with all of this one's lightening and thunder he was able to block it out and find peace.

Aspen, however, wasn't as fortunate.

The albino was terrified of storms. The noise and randomness of it all was discomforting and he really hated having to try to sleep alone when one came along.

During their marriage, Gavin had held him and shielded him from the sounds and light. Now of course such a thing didn't happen. 

Well... it couldn't happen when you were miles apart.

Aspen peeked out from under his covers. He had been hiding under the blankets for about an hour or so, silently begging for the storm to pass. Every flash of lightning and boom of thunder had made him jump and he swore he was trembling more than a fucking Chihuahua. 

He tried to tell himself that he was a fucking pussy and he should grow up but those arguments were quickly rebutted with facts that the one person who had always calmed him during theses times was right down there on the floor and all he had to do was crawl up next to him.

The albino scowled between lightening flashes at his train of thought. 

No.

There was no way in hell he was going to go crawl into his ex's bed and beg him to comfort him. They so weren't together like that and Aspen had no interest in being like that again. He had to just suck it up and get over his fear already. He was a grown ass man, for fuck's sake!

However, Aspen jumped out of his bed faster then he thought possible when a particularly vicious clap of thunder made itself known after a bright flash. The boom was so loud the glass pane in his window rattled and by then he was scrambling to get under the covers with Gavin on his air mattress.

As he wiggled up to fit in with Gavin, the vampire was roused from his slumber. He blinked bleary eyes at Aspen, not sure he was seeing right as his vision cleared. When he determined he wasn't seeing things he sputtered, confused.

"W-what are you doing?" Gavin meeped, turning red.

Aspen didn't see shit, too busy trying to mold himself to Gavin instead. He wrapped his arms around the man's broad shoulder's, his one leg slinging over Gavin's muscular thigh while his nose buried itself deeply into his neck. Aspen sucked in greedy breaths once he was comfortably placed, shivering slightly.

"...I'm scared." he whimpered, voice tiny and small. "There's a fucking storm going on."

Gavin made a quiet noise as he realized that it was indeed raining and his arms went to encompass the smaller man. He stroked his back and held his head. "Oh... right... It's okay Aspen. You ca-"

"Shut the fuck up." Aspen snipped, growling. He trembled in the vampire's arm, his tone simply a response to the stress, Gavin reasoned. 

He shut up as asked and continued to hold his terrified mate.

Aspen's quick little breaths could be heard in his ear. For a while, the smaller man would jump and quake whenever the storm produced lightning of thunder, still very much aware of what was going on. However, his reactions became less and less as Gavin stroked his hair and rubbed his back. The vampire offered no words of comfort during the whole thing, well aware that his hands were working. When Aspen went limp, his chest expanding and contracting in slow and even movements, he knew he had won the battle of trust for the moment.

Gavin purred quietly, nuzzling his mate's ear and holding him tighter. He felt the firm press of his rounded belly against his own and found that he missed the close contact more than ever before. 

When they had been together Aspen had let him cuddle him as much as he wished. Every night they would settle into their respectable positions and would only fall asleep when they were pressed against each other. In the morning, Gavin would wake up to a mess of tangled limbs and sheets and he found he couldn't be happier than in that very moment.

Now, however, he woke up to an empty bed and a sad heart.

Gavin closed his eyes and willed away his unhappy thoughts, gently pressing his lips to the albino's forehead. "I'll always love you, Aspen." he murmured, tucking the man's head further into the crook of his neck. 

"I just wish you'd love me back..."


	10. You're My Downfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fuck ups and lights out.

"Fuck." 

Aspen groaned, tossing his head back and running both hands over his face in a sign of exasperation. 

The action garnered a slightly concerned look from Gavin as he returned from the kitchen, coffee mug in hand.

"Are you ok?" he asked, brows furrowing.

The albino didn't answer him at first. He kept his face covered, obviously flustered over something, but just when Gavin was going to let it go as something superficial the younger man started to slam his fists down on the mattress of the pull out bed, muttering curses under his breath in anger.

"Fucking stupid ass shit-" Aspen hissed, grabbing his pillow and putting it over his face to stem off the flow of colorful language. He squeezed it to him and the vampire had to set his coffee down and hurry over when he heard the muffled scream coming out from behind the cotton and stuffing.

"Aspen, what's wrong?!" the vampire asked, wrestling the pillow from his mate. "Why are you screaming?"

As a reply, Aspen jerked the pillow out of Gavin's hands and threw it at his face, scrambling up to get on his knees. 

"You fucking bastard!" he barked, struggling to keep his balance. All the extra weight in front made him sway and he wobbled for a second before correcting himself and continuing his verbal onslaught.

"You fucker. Do you realize how much more in debt I'm going to be when this fucking thing decides to pop out?!" Aspen demanded, pointing to his stomach with flailing hands and arms. He fixed a murderous glare on the vampire, pointing at him and baring his teeth. "You couldn't fucking keep it in your pants. FY Fucking I you moron, I can't just shoot kids out of my fucking vagina because **I don't have one**! My medical bills are going to be through the roof!!"

Gavin blinked, holding his hands up as if to shield himself from his mate's newfound ire.

And things had been going so well....

"Aspen, we can work something out? Surely our insurance-"

" _Insurance_?" Aspen balked, looking at him as if he were crazy. "Insurance?! You think I fucking have insurance? You asshole!" 

Angrily scrabbling to get off the bed fully, Aspen nearly fell flat on his face when his one leg didn't follow him. It only served to anger him more and soon he was stalking Gavin around the apartment, practically foaming at the mouth. "I could barely fucking afford to feed my kids and pay rent. You think I have money to fucking blow on insurance?! And what type of insurance would even willingly cover me, dumbass? Huh?! I'm a fucking walking medical atrocity. It doesn't help that I can fucking pop out babies but I'm a mother fucking albino, Gavin! I already cost too much money there!"

Gavin couldn't form a reply, trying to avoid being pinned into a corner as Aspen chased him around. He knew his mate had a weak immune system, and he was prone to more diseases than most others, but he had neglected to realize that with the termination of their marriage his insurance had been taken away as well. The man didn't have a way to cover expenses and there was no way he would be able to buy some when his money was already so thinly stretched. 

He felt a bit dumb as he connected the dots, his ex breathing fire down his neck at him about it. No wonder Aspen was upset. He had put him in a precarious position and was about as bright as a door knob.

"I'm sorry Aspen," he tried, keeping his voice low. He held up his hands, surrendering. "You're right. You're right. It is a problem. I'm sorry I forgot..." 

Aspen stopped snarling, seeming surprised by the other's willingness to agree that he was right.

He stepped back.

"You... Did you just say I was right?"

"Yes..."

Gavin lowered his hands slowly as Aspen stared at him, perplexed. The expression was only there for a few moment before it was replaced once again with anger, the vampire's hackles rising up in preparation.

"Well, thanks to you, how the fuck are we going to do this?" he demanded, again pointing to his belly. "Times a ticking Gavin and I don't have thousand shoved up my ass. Do you?"

Gavin made a slight face at his mate's words. "N-no... I don't have any money Aspen, but I can find a way to get some."

Aspen threw his hands up in exasperation, that answer not good enough. "for fuck's sake, Gavin. Are you fucking retarded or something? How the hell are you going to get that kind of money when even combined we barely scrape by, huh?"

The albino stepped away from him, taking to pacing the room and running his hands through his hair. It was a sign of anxiety and the vampire began to worry. Aspen really shouldn't be getting his blood pressure all up. He could hurt himself and it wasn't good for the baby.

"This is so fucking stupid... " Aspen muttered, covering his face again with his hands. All at once his shoulder's slumped and the raging energy that had been surrounding him was gone, replaced by something much more vulnerable and... scared.

"...I can't do this without surgery Gavin... I just can't...." he whispered, folding over into himself as much as his belly would allow.

The vampire heard the soft sniffles and crossed the space separating them within seconds, his arms enveloping the smaller man and tugging him close to his sturdy frame. 

Though Aspen had just been harassing him, and verbally abusing him, he was scared and stressed and Gavin thought that that preceded all of the other's actions. He was hormonal and not feeling well. He had a legitimate reason for being a douchebag about it.

Gavin coddled his mate as he quivered and cried, quiet.

"Hey... It's okay. I'll figure this out. Don't worry..."

"But how, Gavin? We're both broke as fuck.... Its not going to work..."

Gavin stroked his hair gently, the silver strands incredibly soft under his fingertips. He went deeper and proceeded to massage the other's scalp in an effort to soothe, meanwhile thinking about how he could pay for the surgery and give his mate a sense of comfort.

But, there was no solution.

Unless he became a drug lord or something other, Gavin found that he couldn't find a legal way to support his family. His job as a cop didn't pay nearly as well as it needed too and even if he did get a second or third job the paychecks from that wouldn't be much more than chump change. 

They were in a pickle. A really big one.

Or, were they?

An idea struck Aspen as he was in the middle of being petted, the gentle rubbing very soothing. He predicted that he may have been tamed if his mind hadn't sprung forth a rather far fetched idea that resulted in him pushing himself away from Gavin to put distance between them.

"Aspen?"

"Shut up," the albino muttered, looking at some point on the floor intently before he locked his crimson gaze with Gavin's own chocolate one. 

"What if I got a sex change for the birth?"

"What??"

Gavin gawked at his mate, utterly confused and taken aback. "B-but, Aspen, sex changes don't just happen. You-you have to go through therapy and you have to live as a woman for a whole year before you can even get the surgery." he explained, shaking his head. No, that simply wouldn't work. It was much too long and costly and his mate was so not a pussy type. 

Aspen, however, rolled his eyes. 

"No, you dork," he bit out. "What if I got someone to change my gender for the birth? Like, a potion or spell or some shit. Do you think there's something like that out there?"

The vampire paused to think, relaxing slightly.

"Oh... Um... I'm not sure." He looked down at his ex. "Maybe an angel or elf would know, but elves don't like me and angels are racist..."

"Yeah, well you're not the one getting it." Aspen replied, not really giving a shit about his mate's own problems with other races. He had good connections and that's all that mattered. "I think I can pull this off."

"How?"

"Don't worry about it. What you need to worry about is if I can't fix this." 

Gavin blinked at the dismissal. Soon Aspen was pushing him away fully and straightening his shirt. "...Are you sure?" he asked, despite his better judgment to just keep quiet. The albino fixed him with a hard glare over his shoulder.

"One fucking hundred percent."

________________

Aspen walked down the street, tapping away on his phone quietly. He was on his way to the nearest convenience store to pick up more diapers and little finger food things for his babies. 

Gavin had protested him going alone at such a late hour (it was really only about 10 pm) but the albino really didn't feel like dragging his ex and all 7 of his kids out of the house just to pick up a couple of items. In all honesty, he would've made Gavin do it, since he wanted to be all alpha male provider and shit, but he had had enough of being cooped up and had decided the walk would be good for him.

Aspen continued to walk down the empty side street to the store, gaze focused on his phone. He was so wrapped up in what he was doing that he almost got hit by a car as it was driving into the parking lot.

The car hit the brakes just as he looked up and he stepped back as the vehicle lurched.

His surprise and fear were only there for a second before he sneered at the driver and flipped the person behind the tinted glass the bird.

"Fuck you, asshole. Pedestrians have the right a way!" he called, rolling his red eyes as he prepared to keep going.

He made it out from in front of the car, heading for the store doors when he heard the car door open but not necessarily after hearing the vehicle drive off to a parking space. 

Something told Aspen that that wasn't right and he turned to see what the person was doing when earth shattering pain made itself known along his lower back out of the blue.

"FUCK!"

His phone fell to the ground, the screen shattering from the impact as it hit cement and Aspen doubled over in agony.

In slow increments his brain made the realization that he had been attacked with something hard. The albino looked for his assailant, thinking maybe he could defend himself if he could get whatever it was away, when he was hit again, only this time on his shoulder area.

He yelped, trying to shrink away from the attack as new pain registered deep. He saw a flash of wood as what appeared to be a baseball bat missed its next attempt to bash his head in and his blood ran cold.

If Aspen hadn't been scared before, he was now terrified. 

This stranger, a person he didn't know beyond his dumb tinted Windows, was trying to kill him. Instantly he regretted his words from earlier and one hand flew to his stomach to shield it from any damage while his other arm tried to cover his head. 

He saw white as the bat hit him again and again, bones giving under the force and he cried out when they did. His wrist was most certainly broken, as well as his arm. They had been in the way and had taken the blow meant for his skull.

He sobbed, trying to make himself look smaller as the beating went on. It had only been seconds but already it felt like hours.

He should have just kept walking. God he was fucking stupid! _Stupid, stupid!_

Aspen's frame shuddered violently as the hits from the bat stopped suddenly. He let himself wonder, if only for a second, if the attack was done but was soon yelling again as his hair was grabbed and his attacker pulled him up off the ground.

He opened his ready eyes to see the face of the man using him as batting practice and was stunned to see it was his former client.

The client he had bitten, pepper sprayed, and damn well near emasculated.

Fuck.

The greasy porker shook his violently, seething with rage. Aspen could see the scar his teeth had left behind when he had practically torn his lip off. It was puckered and ugly and he felt a little sick from looking at it. 

The man spoke, spittle flying off his lips.

"You bitch," he ground out. "I've been looking for you for months. Months. And just when I was about to give up you waltz right in front of my car."

Aspen swallowed, the murderous glint in his customer's eyes anything but comforting.

"I guess I can finally pay you back for what you did to me."

The albino lost track of time after that sentence. His world was tilted on its axis and when he finally came too he was broken and bloody and his point of view was from his position on the ground.

He started crying before his mind could fully comprehend his situation, fat tears sliding over his bruised and rapidly swelling features. His vision was blurring around the edges and his whole body felt like it was underwater. He supposed he would've been screaming in agony, but when he thought about doing so the only thing that came out was a hoarse whisper that sounded more pathetic than anything else on earth.

"H-help..."


	11. Underwater Slow Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kids and kisses.

Gavin was starting to worry about his mate's rather lengthy absence when he received a phone call from a number he didn't recognize.

Usually he didn't answer unknown numbers, since they were most likely bill collectors looking to harass him about one thing or another, but for some reason he hit the green call button on this one and put the phone to his ear.

"Hello?" 

There was some scratching on the other line before a voice replied in kind.

"Gavin, it's me, Talen..."

The vampire furrowed his brow. He knew who it was before he had even said his name. How could he not recognize his partner's own voice? 

"Hey," he said, settling back down against the pillows on his blow up bed, watching the kids watch their mother's laptop. "What's up? Do you need me to come in or something?"

A lengthy pause made him wonder if the line had gone dead for a moment. He had fully expected it to be the case and was waiting for the beep to sound that the call had been lost or something when Talen's rather sad sounding tone spooked him.

 _"Actually... It's Aspen._ "

___________________________

Gavin didn't know how he had managed to get all 7 of his kids ready, or how he had managed to shadow walk them all to the hospital, but when he found himself in the blinding white of the waiting room of the trauma center he was frantically looking around for his coworker, speed walking and forcing his older children to keep up with his long strides.

_No. No. Please, let it be a mistake..._

He rounded a corner and spotted Talen, decked out in uniform, talking to another officer. 

The elf spotted the harrowed looking vampire a second after he came into view and told the other to leave him be as Gavin hurried over, small children crowding his arms while the other three complained to him about how their legs hurt from running. He opened his mouth to say something but Gavin beat him to it.

"Where is he?" Gavin asked, voice pleading.

Talen pursed his lips, glancing at the children for a quick second. His friend didn't seem to realize, panic evident in his gaunt features.

"He's critical, Gavin. When we found him he had nearly bled to death. He's lucky to even be alive." 

The news made Gavin feel weak in the knees, and he may have faltered in his stance because soon Talen and a nurse had their hands on him, guiding him to a chair to sit. He felt his smaller children be taken out of his grasp as he tried to stay awake, a cold sweat breaking out on his forehead.

"C-critical?" he repeated, chocolate orbs staring into green, silently begging for the prognosis to change. He couldn't bear it if he lost Aspen. He just couldn't...

Talen kept a somber expression, however, slowly nodding. "Yes. Critical. He's in the OR now. The doctor had to fix his lung and put his bones back together." He grimaced. "The guy was trying to bust him up, Gavin. He's... he's a mess right now. The only good thing is that he didn't get hit in the head with whatever it was that had broke his arm and ribs."

The vampire whined, picturing the gruesome facts. "But... the baby... and Aspen... Is he going to be okay? I... I can't loose him Talen. I can't. Please..."

The man gave into his emotions, tears spilling forwards as the stress and worry took over. He bent forwards in his seat and hid his face in his hands, thought of his mate not making it and dying because he hadn't been there to protect him filling his headspace and helping the worry settle in deeper.

"I should've gone with him... Why didn't I?"

A choked sob left his throat. 

The elf watched this for but a moment before he was taking a seat next to his companion and trying to console him. He squeezed Gavin's shoulder firmly, not liking to see him in so much pain. It made his heart ache and he too would admit that he was concerned for the albino. Even though the smaller man was a total bitch he was still important to Gavin and even the elf couldn't deny that the bond on Gavin's side was whipped.

But there was nothing they could do. It was a matter of modern medicine and time at this stage. After that, it would be up to Aspen to make the final call..

"It's okay, Gavin... It'll be okay." Talen murmured as his friend sobbed, shoulder's shaking uncontrollably, uncertainty paving the road for them both.

________________________

When Aspen was out of surgery, he was rushed to the ICU and Gavin hadn't been able to see him at that point. The doctors had explained that it was simply too soon and, seeing the state Gavin was in, had suggested that maybe coming back the next day might be better. There was no sense in working the vampire up further.

The cop, however, didn't want to do that.

He wanted to see his mate and make sure he was still breathing. He wanted to make sure the other was still whole.

But, even when he expressed this, the doctors only protested further and eventually Talen dragged him and his kids away. The elf let Gavin and his family stay at his home afterwards, not trusting that his partner would go back to his own, and watched him from there. He didn't want him going back to the hospital and working himself into a state when they wouldn't let him through. Enough drama had already happened. He didn't want Gavin arrested.

The day melted into night and they received no updates on Aspen's condition.

Gavin didn't sleep a wink, instead pacing the length of Talen's living room one thousand times over. It was annoying, but Talen bared with it. He knew his friend was in an uncomfortable spot right now. It was honestly better than him causing a scene in the ICU, so he didn't ask him to stop.

But he wished he would, if only for his sanity.

Gavin was still pacing when Talen received a phone call later on that afternoon the following day. It was one of the nurses calling with an update. It said Aspen had woken up.

Talen barely got past the albino's name before the vampire had vanished, on his way to the hospital.

___________________

Gavin arrived at the hospital seconds after the phone call had been placed. He asked the nurse at the desk where he might be able to find his husband, every bit of himself humming with impatient energy when they stalled and had to look through their records. It made him want to flip all the tables in the area and throw chairs but he grit his teeth and held out, getting the satisfaction of stalking away when he received a room number and floor.

The man wasted no time in finding the room. 

Like his life depended on it, Gavin arrived on the 4th floor and stepped out, finding a room number directory and heading for the 200's. He was a man on a mission and he stopped for nothing, cutting off hospital staff and visitors without seconds thoughts and no apologies. His mind was entirely focused on his mate and his condition and whether or not he would still be awake when he was there.

_Please be awake, please be awake...._

The vampire grabbed the doorknob of ICU room number 204 and gently pushed it open.

Immediately the silence in the rom was suffocating. He knew it was a bit of a stretch to call the room quiet, since the beep of many monitors and various machines was quite loud, but the lack of speech or anything was what set him on edge. 

He carefully pushed the door closed and walked over to the curtained bed. There was no one else in the room, so he wasn't sure what the curtain was for, but none the less he parted it very slowly and the sight that greeted him made his stomach do flips ten times over.

"Oh... Aspen..."

The albino was laying there, propped up with several pillows, and was so stiil Gavin had to creep closer to see if he was even breathing. His arm was in a cast and he could bet that his mate's chest was wrapped up in bandages to keep his ribs steady after their resetting. He couldn't see it though, thanks to the blankets and hospital gown, but he could tell how badly his mate had been attacked just by his face alone.

Aspen was puffed up and bruised. His usually pearly skin was now blotchy and looked like it had been inflated in some places. When the vampire pressed a hand to his cheek, it felt hot and there was a pulse dancing along one of the veins. 

He had two black eyes, both of them severely darkened and a closer examination told the vampire that Aspen had had to have his jaw wired shut on top of it all. 

The whole scenario was overwhelming. So much so that after a few minutes of just staring and mapping out the location of every laceration or bruise, Gavin had to take a step back.

_I could have prevented this..._

The vampire bowed his head again, the sting of tears joining the never waning lump in his throat. 

If he had just gone with Aspen none of this would have happened. None of it. They would've still been at home, bickering about and being busy.

But he hadn't.

It was his fault.

Gavin bit his lip as it threatened to tremble, fighting to keep his emotions in check. He was just about to open the floodgates when a pained whimper drew his attention.

The sound was so small, so uncharacteristic of his usually boisterous mate that Gavin had a hard time putting two and two together. He was pretty positive that the little noise had come from Aspen but he didn't truly believe it until he heard it again and the albino twitched.

Instantly Gavin forgot about himself and was hovering over his ex husband, eyes roving to see if anything was amiss. He found nothing, however, but he felt his heart clench when his mate let out a louder whimper and twitched in discomfort.

"Shhh, Aspen..." he soothed, gently running his fingers through the smaller man's hair. "It's okay love... You're gonna be okay..."

He glanced down, wondering if Aspen could see, but when he looked he was saddened even more to find out that Aspen couldn't even open his eyes.

Aspen sucked in a shuddery breath, making a noise of discomfort when he pushed his ribs too far. A tear managed to find its way out from behind his shut lids in response to the pain and he blubbered soon after, unable to control himself.

Gavin gently wiped the tear away, noting at once how his mate had started to cry. 

He kneeled beside the bed and took one of Aspen's pale hands in his own, gently pressing his lips to the skin on the back of it.

"Love... don't cry. You're ok. See? I got you." he murmured, stroking whatever skin he could find to help his mate realize that he wasn't by himself. The man, however, didn't seem to care, still crying. It made Gavin concerned.

"Do you need more pain killers? I can go ask the doctor. Please don't cry Aspen...." he asked, thinking that was the reason why his spitfire had suddenly turned into nothing. He was probably in so much pain he couldn't think to slap him away.

He kept stroking his ex, waiting for a response. 

He didn't receive a verbal answer, but instead Aspen showed him why he was crying. It had nothing to do with himself, nor the incredible amounts of pain he was being made to endure. 

It was his baby and the albino was terrified that his run in with his former client had ended its life before it could start.

As soon as his "good" hand had settled over the bump in the sheets Gavin was once again hit with another wave of anxiety. 

_Oh god._

He had totally forgotten about the baby. Aspen had been his top priority and... and...

He sprang up. 

"J-just wait here Aspen. I'll go get the doctor, ok?" Gavin stammered, panic rising in his throat along with his own bile. He scurried from the room as Aspen's battered body shook with another sob, flying down the white corridor in search of the man who was in charge of his mate's health.

He found the man after several minutes of frazzled running and he didn't give the doctor any time to prepare for his onslaught of questions and concerns.

By the time he was finished the doctor was reeling with the overload of info. 

"Please, you have to come see him! He's crying and the baby- is the baby ok? Please tell me it is. It has to be okay, right? Doctor-"

"Mr. Ravine! Please, just, hold up a second!" 

The vampire stopped talking as the doctor protested against him, blinking in surprise at the man's outburst. 

Doctors were supposed to be calm and cool, right?

Dr. McKlintock, as his nametag read, rubbed his temples and muttered something under his breath that Gavin didn't quite catch before he addressed him directly.

"Your friend is still in a really tight space. The swelling in his face might not go down and he might have to intubated to help him breathe. Of course, I want to avoid that, but it all depends on his body." he said, being frank. His tone softened as it changed to the topic of the baby. "The baby, however, is and should be fine. Your friend did a good job of keeping his abdomen from getting any damage, but at a cost to the rest of him. He's lucky he's not in a coma or something. With the way this hit beat him up I'm very surprised he doesn't have a skull fracture or worse."

Gavin relaxed fractionally. Well, at least the baby was ok. But Aspen was still in the dog house and whatever small peace he had found in knowing his child was okay was soon replaced, once again, by worry.

"Do you think he'll make it?" he asked. "You said he didn't get hit in the head, and he's awake. Does that mean bell recover?"

The doctor stared at him long and hard for a moment, unmoving and giving no hints as to what way his mate would turn out by the time this whole thing blew over. It was unnerving and only served to make his blood pressure rise.

Finally, though, the man spoke. 

"So far, his prognosis looks good. But I wouldn't take that to heart. Patients are never predictable." He mused.

Gavin's face fell even more, if possible.

The doctor patted his shoulder, stepping around him. "I'll go check on him for you. He probably needs more morphine." 

He left Gavin standing in the corridor, white hospital coat billowing behind him.

\---------------

A week passed since the conversation with the doctor and Gavin had hardly left the hospital. 

When he wasn't being forced to work, he was hanging around his ex's bed during visit hours, talking to him and just making sure he wasn't dying. There was no back and forth but just being there and listening to the steady beep of the machines was enough for the vampire.

When visiting hours were over he was sitting in the waiting room, unable to bear leaving the place unless he was either called to work or he remembered he had kids to take care of.

Through it all, Talen helped him out, making sure to take shifts that were the opposite of Gavin's so that the cop's kids weren't left alone and they didn't miss school. Gavin supposed he owed his partner a ton for that, but most days he couldn't function correctly, so he wasn't exactly thinking about what gift would say thank you most appropriately. He put it off for something to focus on later, when his life wasn't fucked six ways to Sunday.

Aspen was in and out of consciousness when Gavin visited. The doctor had said it was a mixture of pain and just the body struggling to keep up and heal the damage done. As such, he didn't and couldn't eat much and even though only a week had passed Gavin could see that his mate was loosing weight.

It bothered him greatly to have to sit there and watch his beloved suffer and decline in health even when he was supposed to be healing. What was worse was that he couldn't help, but every time he felt like he might break down from guilt, Dr. McKlintock would appear and reassure him that though things looked bad, the fact that Aspen had made it a week was a good sign.

Aspen might just pull out of this.

And he did.

The pregnant man spent a few more days in a comatose state until he finally started to come back around. He was able to stay awake for longer periods of time and that thrilled Gavin immensely. His mate still couldn't talk, or really open his eyes past a squint, but he was awake and aware and that's all the vampire needed at the moment. He just wanted to be able to see him react to his voice and not lay there twitching.

The doctors took a while to evaluate Aspen as he started to adjust to a more active routine. He was still in no way fit to walk around or anything, but, if he were to stay on bed rest, the staff couldn't see fault in finally allowing Gavin to take his mate home. They waited a bit just to make sure Aspen was really on the road to a full recovery before they let Gavin sign the release papers and take his ex husband back to their place.

Once that was done, Gavin had happily carted the albino out to the parking lot in the wheelchair and when he exited the building he carefully scooped up the man to take him home. 

Aspen felt light as a feather as he was settled into his arms and Gavin was once again bothered by how this whole thing had affected him. All the weight he had gained had nearly gone and now he was sickly and thin. That wasn't good for multiple reasons but fattening him back up would be difficult since his jaw was still wired shut and solid food was out of the question.

Aspen, however, didn't seem too concerned. He was lethargic and looked like he wanted to pass out from what Gavin could see. The swelling in his face had gone down some but he was still puffy and the bruising had gotten worse. In all, the albino looked like shit and Gavin really just wanted to take him home and get him comfortable.

He pressed his lips to Aspen's temple, whispering to him quietly. 

"Everything's gonna be okay..."

Gavin wasn't quite sure if that statement was more for himself or for Aspen, but whatever the case as soon as he finished saying it he stepped into the shadow world and walked the path to their shared apartment.

Gavin easily juggled his mate and his keys once he was at the door, soon opening up the entrance way and stepping into the place. He shut the door with his foot and crossed the space to Aspen's bed, to which he gingerly laid the man down on the lumpy mattress.

Aspen hissed in pain as he was let down, wincing and curling back in on himself. Gavin carefully stopped him from doing so and helped him stretch out before tucking the man in and smoothing the sheets over. Aspen blinked his bruised eyes at his ex as he fawned over him, still silent, but not making an effort to be aggressive.

Gavin reached forwards and gently brushed Aspen's greasy bangs out of his face, his fingers trailing down to stroke a squishy cheek. 

"I'll draw you a bath later, ok? I'll wash your hair and everything for you, so all you have to do is sit and relax..." he murmured, carefully cupping his mate's chin between his fingers.

Aspen's lip had been split during his scuffle and it was still healing even after two weeks of being in the hospital. Gavin swiped his thumb over the chapped skin, not missing how Aspen's lips parted slightly at the act and a little intake of breath could be heard. 

The vampire's eyes flicked towards Aspen's, looking for anything to tell him to go away or that the attention wasn't wanted but all he got was a silent look of surprise and hesitance. The mixture of emotions made Gavin's heart feel like it was in a vice, as it had been for the past several days, and he leaned forwards to press his lips to his mate's to reassure him of whatever it was that was causing that look.

Aspen stiffened, at first, a muffled noise escaping from behind the seal of flesh, but soon his resistance went away and Gavin felt butterflies flutter in his stomach when the albino started to return the affection, albeit shyly.

Gavin cupped the back of Aspen's head as the smaller man's lips moved against his in slow, trembling motions. The quiver spoke volumes to him and he really didn't want this moment to turn into something bad. This was the first time Aspen had really kissed him. It was new, but so familiar at the same time...

The vampire didn't rush any of it, not wanting to scare Aspen off, and simply let him do as he wished with no real care how far it went. In turn, Aspen surprised him by keeping the kiss up for a good amount of time before finally breaking apart to breathe fully. Gavin smiled at him as the albino sucked air into his hurting lungs and peered up at him through his long lashes. No statements or crude comments were offered as he noted the unjust amount of love and devotion in those chocolate depths.

Gavin wiped away the stray tear that found its way from Aspen's eye, kissing it off his fingertip once he had. He didn't want Aspen to cry and he was determined to make sure nothing like this ever happened again. He wanted his mate back, yes, but he didn't want him beaten to a pulp in order to get that.

Gavin pressed their foreheads together, not caring that Aspen's breath smelled worse than a dinosaur's or that his skin wasn't dry and smooth but rather oily and about to break out. Aspen was still beautiful, even when he was a hot mess like this.

"You're never leaving my side again," he promised, Aspen quivering slightly under him. The vampire felt a hand fist in his shirt and he continued. 

"You're never getting rid of me."


	12. Shortie Like Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex and belly rubbin.

"Mmmm...."

Aspen's quiet little mewls were close to Gavin's ear, his breath hot on his neck as he squirmed under him, trying to get closer when they were already pressed flush up against one another, naked under the covers of the pull out bed.

Gavin mouthed the purpled skin of his mate's neck, leaving a trail of open mouthed kisses up to his ear. "Shhh, darling," he cooed, voice a baritone rumble. "We can't be loud."

After Aspen had been brought back home things had settled somewhat back into their regular routine. The kids had been a little frightened of their mother upon first sight, but now they didn't so much care. They were happy to have him back, regardless of his looks.

Aspen was still terribly bruised and broken, but he was getting better. He didn't venture out of bed unless he had too, and he didn't talk, but he was eager for attention and that was something Gavin was more than willing to provide.

He didn't know if it was hormones or the fact that he was practically bedbound, but Gavin found he didn't quite care as to why his ex was suddenly okay with intimate contact. They had exchanged numerous kisses in the short time he had been home and Gavin had been promoted up to sharing the pull out bed with the man. He was now free to spoon and coddle his healing mate as much as he wished with no consequences because Aspen was allowing it, and even asking for it.

Like right now. 

When Gavin had awoke to the gentle fluttering of shy fingertips along his navel and pelvis he had wondered briefly if Aspen was just moving in his sleep. That was, until the touch had turned insistent and at that point he had helped the albino turn over, careful of his casted arm and his still taped ribs.

The vampire had already done all the prepping by now and was currently going through the process of anchoring himself into his ex's tight heat. It was a bit laborious, since Aspen was always tight regardless if the amount of stretching, but he couldn't find it in him to complain. 

Not when it felt this heavenly, like silken walls of hot magma...

It was rather hard for him not to groan loudly as the inferno engulfed the blunt head of his dick, and even though Aspen's jaw was tied shut, he still whined quite audibly at the intrusion.

Gavin slumped over him, kissing his lips to stem off any loud noises that threatened to escape as he pushed the rest of the way in, careful to go slow. He was not going to get reckless and hurt Aspen somehow. Though his dick was hard as a rock and this whole thing was incredibly hot, Aspen's overall health was more important than getting his rocks off.

He kissed Aspen again, licking his lips. "Shhhh..." he reminded, gentle.

Aspen blinked up at Gavin at the reprimand, furrowing his brow. It felt so good. How could he possibly be expected to be quiet?

Still, he pursed his lips to keep silent as Gavin rolled his hips and pressed flush up against him once more. His head tilted back against his pillows as a soft sigh of pleasure escaped him and he grabbed at Gavin with his one good hand to hold him in place.

Oh, right there. 

The vampire purred quietly and leaned down, kissing Aspen's nipples as further reward for minding his wishes. The little pecks sent new jolts of pleasure coursing through the smaller man and Aspen moaned, grabbing Gavin when he tried to pull away, shoving his face back down to his chest with an air of desperation..

Gavin was surprised by the strength his mate showed, but he was soon hard pressed to think about much else when he was presented with the two pink peaks of his mate's chest. They were like tantalizing little beacons and they teased him with every rise and fall of the albino's ribcage, never out of sight and right there for him to taste.

He was happy to oblige.

Gavin answered the quiet demand with a quick lick of his lips before he fitted his mouth over one nipple skillfully, his other hand slipping over and kneading the flesh of Aspen's other pectoral. His squeezes didn't hurt but the pressure was consistent and it gave the albino a pleasant buzz of deep pleasure behind the bright spurts of his tongue flicking.

Aspen breathed out shakily through his nose, leaning back fully and simply letting Gavin have his way. 

He fucking loved it when the vampire did this, especially when he was knocked up. He was so sensitive it was crazy and when Gavin got a hold of him...

Whoa baby.

It was heaven on earth.

Aspen gently stroked the vampire's curly hair while he went to town, Gavin sucking on his current nipple of choice enthusiastically. 

The vampire absolutely craved this close contact. He knew it was a good turn on zone for Aspen, the whole nipple thing, but when he was pregnant it seemed like the dial was turned up to eleven. Like, no matter what he did, it was pleasurable and Aspen was near quaking when he was done. Even the slightest of brushes against his chest or butt or even his back was enough to make Aspen pop a boner on any given day.

But, besides how horny it got the albino, Gavin was also determined to make something else work.

Throughout the days he had been subtly working and kneading Aspen's chest, prepping him to do something only women did when they were expecting. 

He wasn't quite sure it was possible, but the only way to find out was to try, right? 

His reasoning behind trying to induce lactation, besides how hot it would be to have his mate not only knocked up but leaking, was to save money and give Aspen a chance to bond even further with his baby. Aspen already did have a tight bond with all of his children but Gavin felt this one would be special. The litte one had survived an attack, just like his mother. It would do them good to go that extra step and forge an even tighter relationship.

But first he had to get, or try to get, Aspen to the point where he could successfully provide for his child for a while without the assistance of formula.

He mouthed at the nipple, his other hand abandoning the one pect it was massaging to stimulate the one he was feasting on. Aspen made soft little noises as his tongue swirled around the sensitive nub and the albino had to keep from screaming when Gavin decided to put his teeth on it.

Aspen tried to form words as Gavin nibbled, whimpering after he let go. Gavin merely hummed in response, continuing his ministrations until he was sure that he had done a good job and then switched over to the other nipple to repeat the process. 

Aspen was a sobbing mess by the time he stopped and the vampire couldn't be happier. He liked it when his mate was wrecked with pleasure; pleasure brought by his hands, mouth, and cock. It was a boost to that beastly side of him that enjoyed being on top and in control.

It was also proof that he was doing things right.

Gavin purred, rocking his hips forwards with practiced ease. Aspen's milky thighs quivered as he did so and he grabbed the man's ankles, rubbing soothing circles into the bones there. 

Soon he lifted up Aspen's leg, putting his heel on his shoulder as he continued to thrust into his mate with measured rolls of his pelvis. The vampire ran his hand up and down along the smooth skin of the smaller man's calf, delighted with the fact that his husband took the time to make sure no part of him was covered with any unsightly hair. He had heard waxing wasn't exactly pleasant, but it was definitely worth it. Aspen felt like butter, skin so smooth he thought he might loose track of time the longer he rubbed his hands against him.

Gavin pressed his lips to the inside of his mate's ankle with a quiet moan of appreciation, nibbling at the tender skin before sealing his lips there and sucking. 

Aspen's toes curled, his foot flexing from the unexpected stimulation. He openly groaned later when Gavin pulled away and huskily told him that he had a new hickey to wear. It had been forever since his skin had been marked in such an intimate way and the fact that his ex had just done it was just more ammo towards his ultimate goal of getting off. 

His cock jerked as proof of such.

Aspen hand shot up to claw at Gavin's broad chest, seeking to make him talk again in that same lust whisper or maybe get him to put more hickeys on his body. Just something, anything. The vampire did neither, instead growling softly and arching into the primal display. Aspen was given a very pleasant, jarring thrust for his efforts.

It felt good, but it wasn't enough.

Aspen so wanted to say something, to beg his baby to keep going, to lick his nipples again and fuck him until he jizzed all over himself. He could feel the words rising in his throat but every time he thought they might come out they were beaten by a moan or bitten off by his own teeth that refused to move and help him talk properly. 

It was so frustrating.

He gave a soft whine, not wanting to wake his kids in the other room but wanting his mate to know that he needed help. Gavin looked at him for a moment, brows knitting together before his eyes gleamed with an idea in the dim light of an early fall morning.

The vampire's hands snaked around to his shoulders, slipping under and gripping them from behind. Gavin made sure his arms wouldn't press into Aspen's sides as he very slowly, and carefully, lifted his mate up so that he would sit on his lap as he kneeled on the bed.

Gavin saw his husband's eyes roll back into his head as he gave a very gentle thrust upwards into him from the new position, the albino's arms finding their way to his neck and wrapping around tightly. His left arm had some more trouble, being in a cast and all, but he still managed.

His breath was short and he gasped as Gavin ground against him, searching to assist his mate without having to be rough.

The albino shuddered, whimpering as he got more friction and Gavin's warm hands pawed at his ass, pulling him up and closer. His cock was then trapped between his and Gavin's gyrating bodies, weeping copious amounts of pre.

So caught up in focusing on the new feelings, Aspen had to stifle a rather loud moan with his hand when Gavin's own calloused fingers sought out his sensitive pole of flesh and started to stroke it in time to his thrusts.

"Mmhm!" Aspen whined, his hips bucking up into the fist that had encased his petit length. A bit of drool leaked past his lips when Gavin gave him a measured squeeze.

Gavin rushed nothing, his movements slow and tortuous, but touching all the right spots at the same time. His dick was brushing against that bundle of nerves deep inside and his thumb was doing wicked things to Aspen's little prick. The albino was mewing for him, sounding wrecked as he tried to form words and failed, eyes screwed shut as he rested his forehead against the vampire's muscular shoulder.

It was perfect, and Gavin found that he wouldn't mind if things continued on just like this forever, his mate happy and pulsing on his cock. 

But, alas that was not how things were destined.

Gavin felt his end coming, but he was not the type of partner to come first, so he slowed his hips to a stop. Aspen's quivering walls clenched around him as his hand pumped harder, trying to work his mate to orgasm.

The albino peeled himself off from his mate, leaning back and trying to peer over his belly to see Gavin fist his cock, but he was too big. His belly hugged the natural curvature of his equipment and Gavin let him go after a few more strokes, pleased as punch when Aspen's dick molded to the curve of his navel like nothing.

He wa so pleased, in fact, that he didn't take him back in his hand.

Aspen's face was adorably flushed and it only got worse when Gavin took his thumb and pressed along the underside of his cock, tracing a vein from root to tip. Aspen whined, red eyes fluttering shut, and he breathed harshly through his nose before he was coming, hands gripping the vampire tightly and small frame trembling. 

Gavin was mesmerized as cum painted his mate's belly in quick spurts, some of it dripping off after a moment to land on his lap between them. There wasn't a ton of it, but whatever was there was noticed and the vampire gave his mate a low growl of appreciation for the physical statement towards how well he had pleasured him.

His lips sought out the albino's neck and he peppered it with kisses as he put his hands back on Aspen's ass to hold him still while he worked on coming next.

Aspen cooed from his post orgasm bliss, seeing stars with every carefully restrained thrust of his mate's hips as he sunk into his tight heat. His good hand was gripping Gavin's shoulder loosely, his casted arm rubbing his belly. Goosebumps pimpled his flesh when the vampire leaned in to grunt in his ear, close to going over the edge, but asking a question between harsh inhales of air.

"Can I...?"

Aspen blinked, hazy mind recognizing that his ex was asking for permission to shoot his load.

It stunned him.

Gavin had only done that when they had first been dating, unsure on if it would be acceptable to the albino until Aspen had made it clear to the man that he liked a messy finish and there was no need to ask.

Now he was doing it again, an obvious gesture that he was trying to do right and if Aspen said no he would pull out and jerk himself to completion.

The albino had a quick second to consider telling Gavin just that. That bitter part of him still wanted no part of the vampire, unable to look past the hurt that had been done and focused on causing as much pain to the older male as possible as payback for it. 

However, he didn't follow that thinking. 

Instead Aspen found the rapidly part of himself that had missed and craved his mate and all he did and brought a piece of it out, leaning forwards and sealing his lips to Gavin's in an answer of yes.

The action must have startled the vampire because he made a muffled noise in surprise, hips stuttering as his orgasm was ripped out of him with no warning. 

Aspen kept kissing him even as Gavin keened loudly, abs twitching with the effort his cock was making to coat the entire inside of his mate white. He rode out the larger man's sporatic thrusts even when his balls had nothing else to give and still remained lip locked when Gavin fell backwards onto the mattress.

The vampire's chest heaved, struggling to breathe, but his lips kept moving against Aspen's as the albino endured the final two weak jerks of his hips into his hot cavern. His devotion to his mate overrode any natural instinct to breathe. To him, they were one in the same.

Eventually Aspen pulled away to give him a chance to get oxygen to his brain and merely watched him from his perch on his cock, red eyes half lidded.

Gavin was completely and entirely fucked out and the albino drank it in with a prominent source of pride at having worked his mate so well. He was also quite pleased with the leading male for having made sure he felt good throughout the whole thing and having given him such a good ending. 

It was well deserving of a kiss, if he did say so himself.

The albino continued to praise both himself and his mate for their little morning romp, completely satisfied for the time being. He was full and happy and even his aches and pains from his breaks and bruises weren't a bother. The endorphins were still running high on his end and even when Gavin started to shift and lay them down so that they were laying together, face to face, he didn't utter a sound of protest.

Gavin stroked his hair, placing soft pecks of affection on his lips, eyebrows, cheeks, and nose in between his petting. He sighed happily as his lips pressed to Aspen's forehead, his hand gently massaging the pale man's scalp. 

"You did so good darling..."

The soft coo his remark earned him made his own soft rumble start to build in his chest, his hand drifting from his mate's head to cup his bulging tummy and rub the cooling cum there into Aspen's stretching skin. 

He knew from a long way back that Aspen loved to be praised for his sexual endeavours when he was knocked up. His needy, omega self complimented his leader, alpha side and Gavin was more than happy to attend to his mate's needs when he asked for them. Or even when he didn't. Sometimes Aspen didn't have to ask. He just took and that was fine too. Gavin wanted to be his mate's be all and end all for him now so that when the hormones that were making him a suitable mother waned after the birth he wouldn't push the vampire away again. He'd remember that Gavin had taken good care of him when he was unable to and he'd realize that things were much better when they were together and loved each other.

Maybe they'd even get married again. Gavin would make sure it was extravagant for Aspen, just to further prove to the albino that he wasn't going to mess it up again. 

He wouldn't disappoint.

The vampire's purr got louder as Aspen pushed into the gentle rubbing on his belly, greedy for attention. He smiled and ducked his head to kiss Aspen again, nibbling his lip. "We should get some sleep darling, before the kid's get up." he murmured, low and breathy as his hand again strayed lower and brushed against the other's softened member. 

Aspen's breath hitched, just as a tiny voice spoke up from the hallway. 

"Daddy? I'm thirsty..."

_________________________________

"I'm home." Gavin announced as he came in the door, greeted by the sight of his ever pregnant mate and his kids. 

He chuckled quietly as Damon, Falco, and Natalie all rushed over, chattering all at once about their day and what they had done in school. He listened with rapt attention, still decked out in his police uniform. Eventually that gained the children's interest and he had to explain what the letters on his jacket meant to 3 sets of curious eyes.

Aspen watched it all quietly from his spot on the bed, patiently waiting for his turn to talk to his mate.

He had been craving his presence lately and he found he was quite lonely when Gavin wasn't there to occupy his time with dumb romantic sayings or other shit that he usually would have told him to shove up his ass. 

Except he didn't. 

He found it all very charming currently and the man blamed it on the fact that he was about 5 and a half months pregnant with raging hormones. He couldn't go out and do anything for multiple reasons and even if he could all he would risk was harsh insults and maybe a panic attack. 

Aspen had quickly discovered that he didn't like going outside, flashbacks of his brutal assault too much for him to deal with currently. He supposed that meant that he had PTSD, and that he should seek therapy for it, but he didn't exactly have the money to spend on a shrink so he just avoided leaving the home. 

It wasn't too hard. It hurt to walk too much and his ankles were swollen from his baby.

His excuses were valid.

Still, he wanted somebody to pay attention to him. Thankfully Gavin was more than eager to entertain him. 

Aspen listened and watched his ex explain to the kids that the CPD on his jacket stood for the Chicago Police Department and that he sat in a cruiser all day. The children were instantly rattling off questions about his job, and Gavin answered a few before he decided he wanted to actually get settled in sometime that night.

He shooed off the kids, promising he would answer the rest of their inquires later, and rid himself of his jacket, vest, and shoes before wandering over to the playpen to greet his littler ones. 

Their visit was much quicker but Gavin still made sure to give each of the babies adequate attention. When he was done with that he was finally able to show his mate some attention, much to the albino's relief.

Gavin crawled onto the bed, smiling at his mate as he seated himself. 

"Hello darling." he cooed, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Aspen's cheek

Aspen hummed, jaw still wired shut. He was due to get it released later that week and he couldn't wait, though he had heard it wouldn't be easy for another while yet. Still, it was freedom and he really wanted to eat something solid. 

The liquid diet was not working for him.

Aspen was sure he had guzzled what had to be gallons of liquefied food items. Gavin had helped him make smoothies, bought him yogurt, and had even supplied the injured man with baby food when they were in between paychecks.

It tasted like mush but it was something.

He had lost a considerable amount of weight, despite the fact that Gavin had tried to keep his calorie count up to standard. He was about 10 pounds underweight and he hoped to remedy that by eating as much as possible as soon as his handicap was snipped.

Gavin looked at him lovingly as he settled into his pillows, feeling much better now that the vampire was home. 

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

Aspen threw him a mild glare of annoyance, knowing the cop knew he didn't like talking when his mouth was as it was. Gavin saw it and he smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry."

Aspen rolled his eyes, scowling but his expression smoothed over soon enough and Gavin felt it was safe to touch his mate.

He was in the middle of massaging Aspen's scalp when the albino let out a whoosh of air and his hand flew to his belly, his expression one of surprise.

Instantly Gavin was sitting bolt upright, flitting about and trying to get his ex to tell him what was wrong. "Aspen? Aspen, what is it? Are you going into labor?"

The man shook his head. He continued to look a little frightened for a moment before he slowly leaned back and took one of Gavin's hands.

The vampire watched in wonder as Aspen placed his hand on his stomach and his eyes went as wide as saucers as the fluttering of a kick from inside the womb was felt against his palm.

"I... It kicked..." 

"Mhm..."

The two adults remained in the current pose for what seemed like forever, Aspen guiding his mate's hand to follow the kicks as they happened and Gavin in awe as every little movement was picked up.

Eventually Aspen let his hand drop when Gavin's other one came to join the party, the two masculine kits gingerly pressed to his bulge and scooting across it with slow movements. Aspen's eyes hooded the longer it went on, completely content.

Gavin rubbed his mate's belly gently, his hands having slipped under the fabric of his shirt to feel skin on skin. The baby had stopped moving for the moment so the vampire was just taking the time to caress his partner. 

"It kicked a lot..." he murmured, dropping his head to kiss Aspen's bellybutton. "Just a few more months and she or he will be here..."

He sighed, happy. "I can't wait, Aspen... It'll be beautiful just like the rest of them." Gavin said, confidently.

Aspen peered at him as he continued to feel his stomach, expression relaxed. He offered no rebuttal to his statement, fully believing that the vampire would be right with his prediction. All seven of their children were adorable. This one would probably be no different.

He hummed his approval eventually, Gavin's mouth tempted into a smile. The vampire bent his head, kissed his tummy once, then pressed his cheek to it and proceeded to whisper sweet nothings into his flesh.

Aspen simply closed his eyes and dozed off.


	13. You Better Drive Slow When You See Them Hoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dick sucking and walking out.

"What the Hell do you think you're doing?!"

Gavin had just come home from a late night shift. He had gotten off early, the chief having said that Talen and him had been out enough and that they were going to be switching back to days.

Talen has suggested they just crash on the sofa in the break room but Gavin had decided he would much rather go snuggle his mate for the rest of the night. 

He hadn't called, wanting it to be a surprise, but now he was thinking that maybe he should've.

Aspen was on their bed, a stranger with him, with his face shoved down into the other man's crotch. It was no secret what he was up too, and Gavin was no fool. Though, the stupid hooker heels on Aspen's feet just sealed the deal.

Aspen finally came up for air, nearly choking on his own spit. He quickly gathered himself and whipped his head around to glare at his ex, all of a sudden a spitfire once more.

"Shut the fuck up. I'm trying to fix my fucking mistake, ok?" he hissed, still not finished with his current client and really wanting to end it so that he could get his pay and go brush his teeth. He couldn't do any of that if Gavin kept flapping his gums so Aspen was hoping a few venomous words would get him to go away for a few more minutes. 

Instead it made his ex even more upset, the vampire going red in the face as he stomped over to the bed and grabbed his client by the shirt. 

"Hey!" Aspen called, ruffled that his work had literally been torn out from under him and watched as Gavin dragged the customer to the door and threw him out into the hallway, pants around his ankles. He slapped the door shut soon after and turned on Aspen, the albino blinking and leaning back from the pure fury in Gavin's doe eyes.

"I did everything for you, Aspen." he growled. "Everything. I gave up my lease for you. I work crazy shifts for you. I even go out and take money that's supposed to go to my personal expenses and put it down on you so you can stuff your fat face!" The vampire gestured towards his ex, positively seething at his betrayal. Didn't he see how hurt he was, how he had taken his love and devotion and thrown it away?

Apparently not.

The smaller man sneered at the insult, still a bit wary of Gavin's expression, but not one to let such a jab slip. He probably just should have stayed quiet.

"Well that's your fault I'm _fat_ , jackass." Aspen bit out, face flaming at being called chubby. He knew he was. He was fucking pregnant. 

He was startled out of his thoughts when his ex lurched forwards, caging him down against the bed, his massive form looming over him and his arms preventing him from any chance of escape. He swallowed thickly as Gavin leaned in, unsure of what to do. Gavin had never done this before...

"Just shut the fuck up for a second!" the vampire barked, fangs flashing and Aspen making a slight noise of distress as his volume changed and his tolerance waned. "I'm so fucking tired of your attitude; your blatant disrespect to me and what I do. You're an ungrateful, spoiled, and two timing brat!"

He roared. "I loved you. I took care of you after your accident. I did everything for you, and just when I think things are getting better, you turn around and go right back to whoring yourself!" 

Aspen quaked, but opened his mouth to say something in defense for his behavior, but Gavin wouldn't have it. He bared his teeth at the albino and bounced the mattress a bit, telling him without words that he was the only one that would be speaking right now and Aspen was going to sit there and fucking listen.

"I don't care what poor excuse you have for doing it. I'm not going to sit here and let you toy with my heart and my emotions any longer. I'm tired on being stepped on, and from now on you can figure out how to pay your rent and feed yourself without my help because I'm not going to be your cash cow."

Gavin pushed himself off the bed, Aspen still laying on it, his red eyes wide in surprise and fear. "You can work till you pop and then you can keep working. I don't care anymore. You fucked with me one too many a time, Aspen, and now you can pay for it." He threw his hands up in the air, positively done with his mate, the bond so out of tune it was making his ears ring. "I'm done. I'm two thousand fucking percent done with you and your shit. Have fun being alone. I'm not coming back to see. In fact, I don't even want to look at you, because all I see is a fucking whore who can't keep their legs closed and would rather suck dick than maybe actually trust their mate to help them out when they need it."

Aspen slowly sat up and watched, face still stuck in its current expression, as Gavin gathered up his clothes and shoved them into a duffle bag. He slung it over his shoulder soon after it was sloppily packed and started towards the door.

It was then that Aspen started to panic. 

He knew Gavin was upset, obviously, but he figured after a bit of yelling the man would calm down and he'd go take a shower or something and then they would be back to normal. He didn't exactly expect, or even **think** that Gavin was serious about leaving and as he opened the door to leave the albino scurried off the bed.

Without the vampire he was going to be chest deep in shit. He couldn't afford anything now. His assistance wouldn't be able to cover the rent, let alone food. He and the kids would be out in the streets in a heart beat.

"Gavin, no, wait-" he tried, grabbing the other man's arm only to be shaken off. He stepped back in shock, the panic overwhelming now. 

Gavin turned on hi, lip curled. "Don't touch me." he reverberated from deep in his chest, Aspen taking another step back from him at the warning tone. He glared, completely disgusted. "I'm done. Don't ask me for anything again. I'll send my money in the mail and I'll come get the kids for my weekend. I don't want to hear your voice or see a hair on your head..."

He gave a snort in Aspen's general direction, closing his eyes and shaking his head as he turned back around and walked out the door, striding to the stairs and leaving his mate near hyperventilating in the open doorway.

_No, no, no! This can't be happening! It just can't!_

Aspen didn't stay put for long. He bolted out of his apartment, pushing his now unimportant client into the wall in his haste to get down the flight of stairs and get Gavin to stop and _wait_ for him to explain. He just had to hear his story. It wasn't what it seemed. If he just-

"Gavin, please!" he blurted, begging as he maneuvered the stairs as fast as possible, not wanting to slip and fall and hurt himself or his baby. His heart was pounding a mile a minute and he just couldn't seem to catch his breath when he finally reached the foyer, Gavin already at the gate of the complex.

He flung the door open and ran out, terrified of what his future would become if the vampire left. He needed him. He couldn't go. He just couldn't!

"Gavin!" 

The taller man paused in his step, much to Aspen's relief. 

Yes, almost there. He would be able to explain all of this and everything would be okay. He and his kids wouldn't be homeless. They'd be alright-

He reached to grab Gavin's elbow as he ran up, finger's brushing the fabric and looking for a wrinkle to latch onto when the vampire used the shadow's around him to vanish right out of thin air. Aspen's eyes went wide as he found himself alone and rapidly approaching the unforgiving bars of the gate. He slammed in the brakes. 

Aspen stumbled to a stop, quickly glancing about the courtyard for any sign of the man. 

"Gavin?" he panted, spinning this way and that as he tried to locate his mate. "Gavin!"

He felt his voice rise and crack with each desperate call for his ex husband, in tears when his brain finally started to realize that he wasn't going to come back. His finger's carded through his silver hair at a rapid rate, sobbing as he stood there in the courtyard, already feeling the beginnings of his mistake.

He was screwed. So, so screwed. there was no way he'd be able to make it, not a chance.

Aspen bit his lip, face wet with tears as embarrassing noises escaped him. He was in the middle of sucking in oxygen between his sobs when a terrible pain bolted through his chest over his heart. He yelped and his hands flung to his sternum, as if to shelter it form the pain. His lungs spasmed in response to the irregularity.

He slowed his crying to ponder if maybe he was having a heart attack when images of Gavin yelling at him and finally walking out flashed behind his lids and the pain struck him again. The resounding sob after that was in response to his epiphany.

The bond was tearing him up. 

The thing he had once treasured, and more recently ignored and suppressed, not now adding insult to injury. It was reminding him how stupid he had been, and how much pain he was going to be in from now on. It was the karma wheel finally coming back to him.

He whimpered as another bolt of pain made his chest tighten and he fell to his knees, wishing it would stop.

He hurt enough. Please, he didn't need this. He didn't...

The bond punished him again and he answered it's blow with a pained wail.


	14. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Custody switches and park benches.

Aspen's downfall soon spiraled out of control faster than he first anticipated.

Granted, he didn't want it to happen at all, but he had been hoping that he would have maybe three months of leniency before he was evicted. In that time he was praying that he could get a job somewhere so that he could find a replacement home for him and the kids. He really didn't want them on the street. Himself he didn't care so much, but not his babies.

Instead, however, he got two months.

His landlord was aware that his tenant didn't work currently thanks to his condition and that his ex had been the one that had been paying things. With Gavin gone, he knew he wouldn't get paid, and therefore Aspen had to go. Two months was too much money to be lost, pregnant or not.

Aspen was served with his eviction notice on the last day of September. He couldn't complain, since he knew there was no way he'd be able to pay off two months back rent anytime soon. He had barely been scraping by food wise, once again the odd man out when there were 7 others who had higher priority. 

It set a heavy stone of dread in his gut and only thing he could do when the old geezer handed him the papers was to give him a bitter smile and promise that he would be out by the end of October. On the inside he wanted to cry, feeling like the rug was literally being pulled out from under him, but then the bond would remind him why and he'd suffer chest pains for a while until he forced himself to focus on getting things done, quickly. 

In the end, the albino had to scratch his original plan of getting a job, as no one was willing to hire a pregnant man, and instead went to his contacts to call for a favor before his phone got shut off. He scrolled through his contacts list until he landed on a name.

**Basile**

His grandfather, Basile, was not actually his grandfather, nor was he human. He was an elder vampire, who was probably as old as dirt, and their relations spanned back generations upon generations when he and his human wife first had their halfblood child. Basile had no living direct descendants, his daughter having passed away many centuries ago, and he had found Aspen through sure luck. From then on, the two albinos had been thick as thieves.

The elder was a gentle soul with a kind heart, and, more importantly in this case, rich as fuck. Usually Aspen didn't quite care about his relative's financial standing, as he liked to be independent, but right now all that dough would be very helpful.

He called the vampire up, hoping he would answer. While the other line rang and rang, he bit his lip and silently urged his relative to answer. He needed him to. There was no debating.

_"Hello?_

Aspen breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Basile? It's me, Aspen... Um... I-I really need to ask you a favor..."

The man explained his plight to the older vampire, twisting bits of hair around his finger in a nervous fashion. He knew this probably qualified him as the worst parent in history, but he didn't know what else to do. Basile was literally his last option, for all his cards had been trumped. If he didn't agree to help him then he'd be in an even bigger pickle.

He finally stopped talking after a moment, his voice having started to crack as emotions welled up and overflowed. Basile was quiet on the other line. _"I can take them to France,"_ he began after a bit. _"But you have to get a job, and get back on your feet, or I'll take custody of them."_ he warned. His tone had taken on a very serous note, one that said there were no ifs or buts about the terms of his help. _"I do love you, Aspen, but if you can't support them, then I simply can't sit back and watch you and them struggle."_

More silence. 

_"Is that clear?"_

Aspen felt the burn of tears as he croaked out an answer. 

"Yes..."

___________

Basile came to the city to pick up the kids and take them back to his estate in France a week after his and Aspen's phone call. 

He gave Aspen some money to help him start out, and the albino took it, but he wasn't very confident that he'd be able to find a job that would allow him to keep his children any time soon, or at all really. He didn't exactly have a degree, nor could he afford to get one... 

He didn't want to think about never seeing his children again, but all of a sudden it was there, in his face.

He couldn't fuck up again. He couldn't.

Though this was much better than having the state pick them up and put them in a home, it was still terrible that Aspen had to part with his children, potentially forever, because he couldn't give them the basic necessities they needed... He had failed all and any expectations for parenting and if he had been an outsider looking in he would've called the police.

Aspen said goodbye, the children under the impression that they were going on vacation, and soon Basile and his brood were on a private plane back to France with all their clothes and toys. They were happy as can be to be able to go visit their grandfather's house. It was an experience that had been neglected for obvious financial reasons. 

Another reason why Aspen was a terrible mother.

Before the plan took off, Aspen pulled Basile aside to secure another deal. It was perhaps even more important than the current kids to a point.

His initial request, however, was quite simple: Basile would return to the states when he had his baby and take him/her to France as well. The albino didn't want to risk any chances with his youngest and if he couldn't keep it then at least he'd be well looked after and provided for by the elder. He didn't want his baby, who would be born in winter, to have to go through living on the streets. Aspen knew he wouldn't be able to feed him or her. Sending him straight to Basile's the only option to secure his/her health.

That was all that mattered in the end. Aspen knew and wanted his kids to be well taken care of. It pained him greatly to think about loosing his newest child, and his children in general if he couldn't step up and do the same, but Aspen knew his limits. No sense in trying to act out in vain and cause them trauma.

Basile agreed, no questions asked, and Aspen stepped away to stand on the side and allow the plane to leave. The aircraft took off soon after the end of their conversation, leaving nothing but noise in its wake as it left the tarmac and Aspen behind. Aspen remained on his spot on the grass, crying to himself as he realized he was alone for the majority now, even long after the plane had gone out of sight. 

His kids were gone and so was his ex-

A stabbing pain in his heart made him whimper. 

_No, don't think about him. Don't._

Aspen sniffed, eyes staying shut as the pain slowly loosened its grip on him. When it finally passed he sniffed a few more times and wiped his eyes before heading back towards the exit of the runway to start the long journey home. He still had many things to do and loose ends to tie up. It was best to get them done before his official eviction tomorrow afternoon.

_____________

The following evening, Aspen found himself on a park bench.

All his clothing and other belongings that were portable had been packed into a duffel bag, which now sat at his feet as he stared at a vacant spot on a tree across from him. If he listened hard enough, the relative silence of the empty park would give way to cars on the street behind him a block away. Children's voices also chimed, Halloween in full swing. 

The albino blinked. 

He had completely forgotten that it was Halloween. Or that it was October really.

Huh.

A gust of chilled wind made the dying trees shake and Aspen found himself shivering despite how dead he felt inside. His arms encircled his own frame in a pitiful hug, trying to trap body heat to him as another breeze cooled him further. Red eyes glanced down to the duffel bag beside his leg. There were blankets inside, along with a pillow. He should probably get one out.

Aspen hesitated to dig into his bag and bring out his items, despite the fact that he was freezing. To him, they were still clean if he left them alone, and they would still be a part of his fantasy that he wasn't out on the streets, but merely walking to some where new, if he kept them safely tucked away.

The wind was insistent, however, and eventually his fantasy was blown away along with the stray leaves that littered the sidewalk. His numb fingers clumsily undid the zipper on the bag and he pulled out a neatly folded square, to which he proceeded to wrap himself in once it was unfolded all the way.

Aspen swaddled himself in the warmth of the felt throw, tucking his head down to cover his ears. In a million years, he would have never pictured himself in this situation, alone and cold and homeless on a park bench, and so the action was done with more than a hint of shame at how far he had fallen. 

He had truly been a fool, and now he and his little family were paying for his mistakes. The bond, with it's impeccable timing, agreed with a sharp prick of pain over his heart and he hissed through his teeth quietly, his breath fogging in the cold air. 

Aspen felt his eyes misting up as he sat there, enduring the pain of his bond and his own berating thoughts for several hours. He never once cried outright as the night dragged on, but he felt like it at times when the hurt and his own thinking tag teamed him like a pro wrestling duo.

It was a lot to take, but eventually his own exhaustion started to win the battle overall. 

His lids grew heavy and soon he was swaying from side to side in his seat, trying to stay upright against the force of his body shutting down. Aspen knew he should just lay down, but he didn't want too, some vain part of him refusing to give in a sleep on a bench like a hobo. But, he was one, so what was the point in trying to fight it? He had brought it on himself after all. He just really needed to sleep...

He fought it a little longer before he finally resigned himself to his new lifestyle, the tears finally falling as he let his head rest on the peeling painted bench seat. His blurry eyes took in a stain and several sharpied words of profanity in their last few moments of remaining open. He shuddered in revulsion, wanting to throw up, but he swallowed the bile that came up and forced his eyes shut. 

Aspen trained his mind on images of a peaceful starry night instead of the words "bitch" and "fuck U" etched and scrawled on aged wood. It helped to soothe him, the man finding he was feeling more and more comfortable the more he pictured the sky. There were no ugly, dirty benches in the sky. Everything was glittering, like a million diamonds...

Aspen traced the constellations of an imagined sky on his way to dreamland, his worried expression smoothing over as he finally fell asleep.


	15. Dreary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dewy mornings and grey skies

"So you two split?"

Talen's question was asked with little concern about Aspen. He had never been too partial to the albino. The smaller man had been prickly and angry to him, even when he and Gavin had been together. To the elf, he was just bad news, and he was glad his friend had finally just gotten rid of the poison in his life. It had taken way longer than necessary, but better late than never.

Gavin sighed beside him, shoulders slumping.

"Yeah. I guess. I tried to call him the other day to see about the kids. He didn't answer, and he doesn't live at the apartment anymore apparently. I went to see but the place was rented out by someone else." He shrugged, lifting his coffee to his lips.

Gavin was still rather moody about the whole thing. Every time he thought about it he just felt the anger bubbling up under his skin, so for all intensive purposes he didn't try to dwell on it. He had said that he hadn't wanted anything to do with Aspen any longer. It was probably best that the albino had moved and changed his number or whatever. True, it meant he couldn't see his kids as readily as he was allotted, but he could track them later on if they remained in the area, or visit them at school. He didn't really need to et them from their house each time.

The vampire shrugged again, ready to dismiss the topic. "Whatever. It's over. I don't really want to talk about him, so do you mind if we talk about something else?"

Talen bit his doughnut. "I'm just saying. Took you long enough. I told you he wasn't worth it."

"Talen."

"Okay, okay."

The elf finally dropped it, allowing Gavin some peace and quiet about his life for once. The vampire went back to sipping his coffee as he watched people mill about from his position in the passenger seat, Talen's mute chewing the only noise to disturb his vacant thoughts.

__________________________

It was a cold November morning. Light frost dusted the dying grass in the park and fog hung low over the hills as sunlight peeked through the lifted horizon of hundreds of leafless trees. Birds, late for the yearly migration south, chirped randomly, perfectly camouflaged among the brown bark of the branches.

Usually such an early sight of beauty would have been appreciated by those willing to be up at such an early hour. To Aspen, it was the start of another restless day of being homeless.

The albino had thought his situation prior had been difficult. Now, without the basic necessities, he was truly miserable. Every day was a struggle to just get going. It was safe to say that he was clinically depressed. He felt lethargic, always, and he had little motivation to do much. Aspen truly believed that the world was out to get him, and at the same time he felt that maybe he deserved it. Maybe his former self had been a real dick and had secured him a world of suffering.

Or, maybe, he had just been a jerk and was finally getting his dues for being so.

Aspen groaned quietly as he sat up, jaw clenched tight. In the cold, his injury would act up on him, still not fully healed. It was a pain to deal with, but Aspen found that if he just waited the muscle would eventually loosen up. In the meantime, he shuddered as his nest of blankets fell off his form, allowing biting air to nip at his skin and pimple it with gooseflesh.

His numb hands went to his arms, gently rubbing them. Even with all 6 of his sweaters on, he still felt cold, much to his annoyance. He spent a few minutes trying to generate warmth before his icy fingers went to his face, feeling the scruffy stubble along his jaw. The texture further made his overall feelings about himself drop and soon his hand left his chin to lay limply in his lap.

He had a lot to do, as usual, but even though he knew his agenda was busy, Aspen found that getting off his park bench was a daunting task.

He really just wanted to lay there; lay there and never move again. He was alone, and it wasn't like anyone would really miss him. Gavin hated him and his kids were probably having the time of their lives with Basile. What good was their rag tag mom who couldn't feed them when they had a grandfather who was fucking rich and could buy them whatever the hell they wanted?

Obsolete. That's how good he was.

Aspen stared vacantly into space, ignoring the beautiful morning around him, for what seemed like forever. He really didn't want to get up. He really didn't. 

But he had too. His bladder was beyond full.

The pregnant man placed a hand on his belly, barely able to feel it through the sweaters, and reminded himself that he wasn't entirely alone just yet. He had to get this one out before he could be a total bum. That was his last job. After that he could die somewhere in a hole, save everyone some trouble.

Aspen rubbed his bulging belly gently, slowly moving the covers off of himself, and stood. 

He wobbled, balance completely off kilter. He grabbed the bench for support until his legs weren't as still and then waddled towards a patch of bushes to relieve himself. He did it pretty quickly, and afterwards he went to begin the process of folding up his stuff and putting it into his bag.

As he folded, the albino kept his head down. Early morning exercise nuts and commuters were starting to filter through the pathway. Aspen could feel their dirty stares as they watched him, his scruffy appearance something to take in with disdain. He was a stain on society. Something ugly. 

The man swallowed dryly as he folded everything with precision. Soon, everything was packed and Aspen stood once more, shouldering his life, and trudging away from his bench to find somewhere else to sit for the day.

Aspen was not a beggar. He didn't want a hand out. He was still fiercely independent and the very thought of sitting there, trying to get people to pity you, was not something his pride would allow him to swallow. So he didn't sit on street corners with a sign and empty McDonald's cup to take change. 

Instead, he found somewhere quiet and out of the way to sit and talk to his baby before his hunger grew too ravenous to ignore and eventually force him to seek out a soup kitchen.

Aspen wandered for a bit until he found another park, the cold making walking and being outside difficult. He no longer thought about complaining, however, simply having accepted that this was what his life was contained to now. He dusted off a spot on a swing, having found an abandoned playground, and squeezed himself down onto the tiny seat.

His feet didn't touch the ground and he gave himself a light swing forwards before he began to talk, longing for a conversation.

"You'll probably like the swings when you're older..." Aspen mused, voice whispery soft. Snow had started to fall, but the man kept swinging and talking. "I did when I was little... Don't know why."

He fell quiet for a bit, looking up. The snowflakes, fat and fluffy, landed on his upturned cheeks and on his lashes, making them heavy. He blinked a few times, slowly. 

"I don't know a lot of things.."

The albino sat there, staring up at the whitewashed sky. It was ashen, sickly grey. Kind of like his skin. Maybe he and it were one of a kind, he decided. It was sad, like him. It cried frozen tears and grew dark. 

Yeah, they weren't so different.

"I hope you don't hate me when you're older... But I understand if you do..." The albino sniffed, nose running from the cold as he watched the heavy clouds. "I'm a bad mom... and a bad person... I had a lot... but I fucked up... I fucked up big time."

One hand left the frozen chain and went to his belly. "But you're okay. You're not going to be bad like me..." Aspen rubbed thoughtfully, red eyes drifting downwards to stare at the poorly hidden bulge. He wanted to smile when a fluttering of kicks was felt behind his belly button, but his mouth remained set in a soft frown. It, like the chain, was frozen.

"You won't be bad like me..."


	16. Happy Labor Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Secret showers, ice, and nametags.

The hiss of the shower was the only noise heard in the locker room of an otherwise dead YMCA. It's occasional heavy splatters of excess water over the usual stream echoed off the tile walls and the mirrors above the sink fogged over as the steam came into contact with colder glass of the mirror. 

There was no one in sight. All the lockers were closed and any patrons that had been getting dressed were long gone. Anyone else within reason that was still there was either heading home or finishing up their workouts at ten minutes to ten. 

Everyone, except, Aspen.

He had been waiting for it to be deserted. His current condition didn't allow him to waltz in at any normal time and hop in the shower like a regular person, even though he wished too at some times.

The hot water felt like magic against his winter dry and stretched skin, a secret blessing with every searing gallon. Slippery hands pushed the foamy soap from the in shower dispenser over his domed belly and across his chest, down between his white thighs and through his silver hair.

Dingy water flooded the drain as he stuck his head under the shower stream and used his hands to push the soap and excess water out from his hair. He made a face when he saw it, deciding to wash it again just to be sure it was clean, and rinsed it good so no soap would be leftover.

When he was finished, he turned the shower off, left to listen to the silence of the locker room as he moved out and retrieved his towel. 

Aspen dried off as quickly as he could manage, shuffling towards where he had put his things and proceeded to get dressed. He would have loved to lollygag and get ready without almost tripping over himself, but he couldn't risk someone walking in on him. He already had enough drama. He didn't need questions and insults to add to his injury.

The albino pulled a shirt over his head, wrestling with it to get it over his belly. He smoothed it over once it was in place, annoyed with the wrinkles. Several sweaters then went over the top, making him sweat a little in the heat of the changing area as the fabric trapped in warmth. He managed to wrestle his coat on afterwards though, sealing the deal and making him look at least 20 pounds heavier.

When all was said an done, and he had two pairs of sweats on along with 3 pairs of socks and his boots, Aspen waddled over to the mirror and made a poor attempt at smoothing his hair and making it look somewhat presentable.

The ends had grown out, and if he had taken off all his clothes people would be able to see that it reached between his shoulder blades. Aspen knew it needed to be cut, but just like everything else, there was no way he could manage that right now.

The albino leaned forwards, belly pressing on the counter as he finger combed his hair, lip pouting out when it just continued to look messy despite his efforts. His red orbs flicked from the silver mess halfway through, however, and he shrunk away from the mirror not long after as though something had burned him.

His reflection was unpleasant, inciting chills to race up his spine, and Aspen let the mirrors alone so that they might not further hurt him in favor of gathering up his bag and leaving the room.

He tromped up the stairs, willing his memory to dump the sad picture of the lonely man with dead eyes that had stared back at him when he had stolen a glimpse. Every time he closed his eyes though, the image would remain, like an unwanted brand.

Aspen couldn't a worser time when he wished he weren't himself, the door slamming shut behind him as he fled from his own image.

___________________________

Several more weeks passed before more trouble found its way to his side, and this time, he was terrified when it hit.

Aspen found he had been experiencing mild abdominal pains and cramps off and on for the past three days or so. He thought nothing of it however, mistaking them for hunger pains. He didn't eat everyday anymore, mind you, and it was pretty early for his baby to be making an appearance.

But he should've been more cautious. 

As the Santa's and Reindeers made their way out from storage sheds and basements, Aspen's water broke.

How did he know? Well, when he had been getting his shit together to get out, he had asked his friend from across the hall for a little help. William had been surprised by his request for a sex change, but with some convincing Aspen had managed to weasel a potion out of him that would allow his body to change as needed until he delivered his child safely. 

It was strange having a vagina, to be honest, but Aspen was silently thankful for it now when all of a sudden a rush of hot liquid had ran down his leg about an hour ago. 

Until then, he had been blissfully unaware that something was happening. He probably would have stayed that way if he hadn't taken the potion and if that had been the case there would have been no way for him to make his way to the hospital. He had no phone, after all, and the pressure would've been so great that he probably would've died from internal bleeding or otherwise.

Now, he was hobbling towards the nearest hospital, pausing for breath and to groan when a rare contraction would make his muscles cramp up and force him to grip whatever he could find in a near vice.

"Ooooh...." 

Aspen had his eyes screwed shut, his teeth bared to the cold as he weathered the pain, one hand on his stomach as though it would soothe some of the hurt. Tears threatened to spill from behind his lids as his mind took the moment to think about better times.

When he had been in labor before, his mate had always been by his side to offer him comfort and reassurance. Gavin hated to see him in pain and he would always pet his hair and hold his hand as they waited for the OR to open up. Aspen couldn't remember times when he had felt safer than in those precious moments, with his husband's hand carding his hair and his quiet whispers in his ear. 

Back when he was loved. Back when he hadn't been a jerk.

His memories were blown away by a harsh gust of December wind, his form shivering violently and prolonging his contraction. He grunted, squeezing the concrete railing of the bridge hard as it endured and when it let up he took in a breath, eyes fluttering open.

"Not anymore..." he murmured against the buffeting wind, pushing away from the railing to continue on his way.

The hospital was a good distance away from his usual stalking grounds of the park. He had been walking for about an hour now, and he was still more than half the distance away. Constant stopping to catch his breath and deal with cramps was making the walk longer.

Aspen grumbled to himself as he trudged along, ears and nose red from the cold. He wished he had a car, or that the hospital was closer. His legs felt like lead and his toes were numb. This trek was going to be miserable and there was nothing he could do about it.

"So cold- Hng!"

He doubled over as another ripple of pain went through him, arms wrapped around his middle. A chocked sob escaped his throat simultaneously as it hit. "F-fuck.... it hurts!" he whimpered, the tears escaping this time and stinging on his cheeks.

The man spent at least a minute sobbing in pain, his baby wrecking havoc on his body. When the pain finally eased up he found that he was shuffling along a little bit faster this time.

His contractions were getting worse. He couldn't keep going at a snail's pace. If he did, he'd be pushing his baby out on the side walk and OH-

Aspen felt his feet slide out from under him, a patch of ice gone unsalted. He gasped, eyes going wide as his gaze was suddenly shifted to the night sky. 

He knew he was going to get hurt. It was inevitable. Still, the albino felt his concept of time slow in that split second before he hit the cement, making it seem like it was much longer before the new source of pain registered in his brain.

Aspen's tailbone hit the concrete first, his back and head following. 

The wind was knocked out of him, leaving in a harsh gust that misted in the air above him. A faint buzz of discomfort gathered in the back of his skull at the point of impact, his shoulder blades and butt soon protesting as well. 

Aspen blinked slowly, feeling a bit foggy and distant. He stayed in that position for what seemed like forever, the snowflakes that had started to fall creeping through space and time. He watched all of them, mouth slightly agape as the crystals floated down to earth like a million angels, only stirring to get up when a bunch had covered his face, melting with time.

The albino pushed himself up, blue fingers carefully moving towards the back of his head. He touched where it hurt, wincing, and when he pulled his hand away he saw the splash of bright red against his flesh.

"Oh... Oh no..." he murmured, brows furrowing as he made a connection. He felt again just to make sure, and when his palm came back covered in blood he pushed himself up on shaky legs and stumbled down the sidewalk, bag forgotten.

_No no nonono..._

Aspen made his way to the hospital in a fog. If asked how he had gotten there, or how he had managed to remember the way, he wouldn't be able to tell you. All he knew was that when he came into the emergency center, the back of his head was sticky with blood and his baby was seriously struggling to get out.

Aspen staggered up to the counter, unable to stop in time, and practically fell onto it. The receptionist behind the desk gasped in surprise and sprung up out of her seat, loudly saying something to a passing nurse in pink scrubs, before she came over and grabbed his shoulder's, pulling him up.

"Sir? Sir, what's wrong?" she asked, checking him for signs of consciousness. 

Aspen floundered for a moment, needing a second to play catch up, but eventually his dirty hand found the front of her shirt and he gripped it. 

"I... I fell... Hurt my head..." He winced as his skull throbbed. "B-but... the baby... please..."

"Sire, it'll be okay. We'll find your baby-"

"N-no!" Aspen shook his head, feeling weak. He grimaced as another contraction chose to appear at that moment, deep trendils of terrible pain creeping up along his spine and forcing his pelvic muscles to ripple in compliance to nature's call. He groaned.

"Please!" he cried out, the woman not sure what was going on. "I... It's coming. Please... I-I..." He bit his lip, muffling another shout of pain.

"I'm scared..."

The nurse stared at him, offering nothing to show that she understood, but a gurney team at that point came along and he no longer had any reason to speak to her.

The team of new nurses helped Aspen up onto the stretcher. As they carted him to an available bay, they tried to remove his clothing. A pair of scissors soon entered the scene and Aspen went wide eyed, hand flinging out to knock the items aside. 

If they cut up his clothes, he'd have nothing. 

The albino made sure they were on the floor before he fought with the medical staff, shrugging off his coat and taking off his sweaters and his top. They seemed to calm down once they realized he was just taking off his clothes, but soon they were shocked as they took in the bulging, **moving** mass that was his stomach.

Aspen felt embarrassment flame up in his cheeks at their stares. His hands went to cover it up, failing miserably, while he turned his head away and stared at the wall. Again the sting of tears came and they spilled down his cheeks and into his damp hair. 

Gavin had never stared at him like that, like he was some freak show. He had always said it was fine and he was perfect. 

But the doctors didn't agree.

"What... what is that?" someone asked, taking a step back.

Aspen bit his bottom lip, squeezing his eyes shut to hide.

"Just... please." he begged them, voice whisper soft as he asked for mercy. 

The nurses exchanged looks and the doctor blinked, staring hard at him for a moment. "I've seen you from somewhere..." he mused, Aspen cracking an eye open at him at his words. The doctor put a hand on his shoulder.

"You're... Aspen, right? The man who had 6 kids with a vampire?"

It was now Aspen's turn to go wide eyed. They knew his identity? _Well_ , he thought, expression once again going to one that was more ashamed, _Its not like a guy having kids happens all the time... especially 6 of them._

He nodded.

The doctor made a noise of affirmation and turned to his nursing team. "Prep the OR. We've got t get him into surgery, stat." He stopped talking as Aspen's hand flew to his wrist, clamping down on it.

The albino shook his head, smearing blood on the pillow under it. "N-no. I can't wait that long... It's...It's coming now." He looked up at the man, eyes moist. "My water broke over 2 hours ago...."

"What? Aspen, how-?"

The doctor got his answer as Aspen let him go, hands flying to his pants, he kicked off his boots as he shimmied out of both layers of bottoms, peeling off his soaked underwear and showing the man that he could do this without surgery. He just needed them to help.

The doctor and nurses stood there, shocked once again.

"How?"

"I asked a friend for help... I... I can't afford surgery..." His face heated up again as he admitted his predicament. "Just... help me? It really hurts... but... I don't know what to do..."

There was another pause after Aspen's pleading, the albino looking up at all of them from his position on the gurney. Their faces didn't look very hopeful and Aspen felt like crying again. He just wanted some help. His baby was coming and he didn't know what to do. 

He also really, _really_ wanted his husband there. 

He wanted Gavin to hold his hand and let him know it would be okay. If he had been there, Aspen felt that he might have a bitter grip on things. He'd be able to focus, and Gavin would keep their weird stares away. 

But he wasn't, and the bond reminded him that he had caused all of this with a sharp jab of pain to his chest. He groaned, stirring the staff from their slump.

"Ok." the doctor muttered, looking to his staff. "Lets get him ready for delivery. I need the maternity ward now. also, we need to get him to X-ray after. He might have a concussion but I can't get that while he's pushing a kid out."

The doctor put a hand over Aspen's, the albino blinking at the gentle touch. It made his heart yearn for his mate even more. 

"We're going to get you the help you need, okay?" he asked, Aspen nodding slowly, a look that could only be described as relief flitting over his ashen features.

The staff bustled about for a few more moments before the gurney was removed from the bay, Aspen on his way to the maternity ward. 

He was terrified, not sure what was going to happen, but there was no turning back. He was going to have this kid and he was going to have it now.

Aspen tossed his head back as another contraction ripped through him, his yell dying out as the double doors swung shut behind him.

_________________________

When he woke up, it was about 3 in the morning.

The room was dark, only the light of the moon filtering through his window and painting a patch of silvery light on the linoleum floor. 

It was also very quiet.

Aspen sat up, rubbing his head as the change in position caused some pain. The strange texture of bandages met his curious fingertips and he furrowed his brow in confusion before he remembered that he had fallen on some ice on his way here.

But why had he been coming here again?

The albino struggled to remember, his other hand moving towards his stomach. When he felt nothing but air, he went wide eyed and quickly glanced down. "What-"

Aspen took in his new state. His stomach was flat, safe for the bump that happened to everyone when they were sitting. Where was his baby belly? What had happened? 

He gripped his bed sheets in a fist, struggling to remember. He didn't remember going into labor... or... had he?

Slowly the tension left him as it all came together. That's right, he had come here for the whole purpose of having his baby. His water had broken early and he had hurt himself trying to get here. He must've delivered it some time ago, judging by how late it was. 

Aspen stared at the clock for a moment before his hand dipped below the covers and he felt himself, checking to see if the potion had worn off. He felt the familiar velvet skin of his prick and sighed, removing his hand once he was sure he was back to normal, hands resting on top of the covers.

The albino glanced about after his inspection, instinctually looking for his baby. Usually they let them stay in his room while he recovered so it was a bit strange to the man when his little one was nowhere to be seen. Where could it be? What sex was it?

Aspen found himself growing a bit anxious about all the unknown things, wanting to know if his baby was okay and what it was. He hadn't come up with a name because he didn't know the gender and that was really bothering him. 

Maybe he could ask a nurse? Yeah, they would know.

Aspen looked for the nurse button. he was about to press it when he remembered something.

The baby... He couldn't take it with him.

Basile was going to.

Aspen's expression and mood fell faster than he expected, grief stricken. The birth of his child marked the day of his full loneness. He wouldn't have anybody to be with now that it was born. He couldn't afford it, or give it what it needed. 

He was inadequate.

Aspen nervously chewed on his nails as he looked about the room. Could he really just give up his baby? Instinct was telling him no, that he should find it and take it with him. But, after that, what would he do? The streets was no place for an infant, especially when it was so cold. If he brought it with him, it would only suffer.

But still... it was _his_ child. His little one...

Oh...

Aspen fought with his mothering disposition and his logical thinking. In the end, the logical side won and many tears were spilt as Aspen realized when he had to do.

He would have to leave here without his little one. There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it. 

Aspen quietly sobbed as he thought about it. He was abandoning it, the tiny thing. God, he was a horrible mom. He didn't deserve to live. What would it think of him when it got older? It'd probably hate him.

But he had to do it. He didn't want to, but he had to. It was the right thing to do. Basile could give it what it needed...

The albino blinked. 

It.

He didn't even know the gender...

Aspen glanced at the time and scrambled out of bed. His pelvis hurt, but the mild discomfort went unnoticed as he hurried and got dressed, slipping out of his room and heading for the baby center. 

He had to know. Boy or girl. 

Aspen came up to the room, sliding to a stop in front of the glass. He pressed his face to it, scanning the nametags for a blank one. He formed when he couldn't find it. Where could it be? It should be here....

Wait. He had delivered early. Perhaps...

Aspen left the glass, searching for the room that housed the early infants and those that needed special care. He found it after a bit of searching and his eyes quickly spotted the nameless tag on one of the incubators, nose once again touching the glass as he leaned in, trying to get a look.

The small baby in front of him was incredibly tiny. Even though he was 8 months along, he was still small, and Aspen found himself in disbelief over his size. A small tuft of black hair adorned his head and he twitched minutely, little hands clenching before relaxing.

Aspen felt himself die a little on the inside.

He was going to leave this behind.. His son. 

The tag read male, so he knew the gender, but there was no title other than that. Aspen glanced at the door beside him, reaching for the handle before he knew what he was doing. 

He could at least give him a name before he left. A good name. That way, Aspen could remember him and maybe when the little one grew up and thought about his mother he wouldn't think too badly of him. 

If Aspen hadn't loved him, he wouldn't have named him. He hoped that would be the child's mode of thinking...

Aspen found the door was unlocked and he slipped inside. Quickly he took the nametag and wrote neatly, hand trembling slightly as the albino spelled out the name _Levi Ravine_ on the white space. 

He stared at it once he was done, eyes misting as he brought it closer to his face. Levi Ravine. Yeah... that was a good name... A great name. He could have his father's name, not his. Gavin was someone to be proud of... not him. 

He shivered as he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the card, going over and sliding it back into the holder. Levi stirred inside his chamber, as if sensing he was there, and Aspen had to fight the urge to take him out and hold him. 

No. He couldn't. 

If he did, he'd never set him down.

Aspen stared at the infant through the clear walls of his incubator, wishing his could hold him. Instead, he put his finger's to his lips and them pushed them to the glass in a form of a kiss. 

"...I love you, Levi." he murmured. "...It's going to be okay. Mommy's going to make sure everything's okay." 

He stroked the glass for the longest, heart aching. Eventually, he had to leave. He knew he couldn't stay and he had to call Basile, let him know. The albino bit his lip as he forced himself to move, to let the glass leave his fingers and walk out of the room. 

He stole another glance through the window as he walked down the hall, pining, but didn't stop. 

He snuck out through a side door and made his way to the nearest payphone, taking the change that had been in his pocket and putting it into the machine 

He waited for Basile to answer.


	17. My Worst Distraction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Expensive ass coffee and cruel elves.

Depression sucked balls. 

Four months after having his baby Aspen had a job, but his outlook and mood on life was less than positive.

He dreaded every day, and even though he was working now he still didn't have a place to live. If at most he could afford to eat if he spent his money wisely. Other days he spent it on liquor, relieving his stress through fermented grains.

Nothing was really looking up at the moment, and Aspen had seriously considered just signing off multiple times since Levi's birth. He didn't think he could do this for much longer, the hole in his heart, left behind by the loss of his children and the abandonment of his mate, further made him depressed.

The albino sighed heavily as he scrubbed the counter top, sweeping leftover coffee grounds into his hand to be thrown away. 

He worked as a barista at a cafe a little ways away from the park. It was pretty hipster, with, like, organic coffee or something. Aspen wasn't really sure how it made a difference. Without sugar and creamer it tasted like dirt no matter what its origins were. 

Still, people came and bought it. A small latte cost 4 dollars even so Aspen was pretty sure he'd never come here to get his fix, if he ever made enough to afford such a splurge. But, hey, if people wanted to pay through the nose for espresso then power to them. It was filling his paycheck after all. The more customers the better.

He tossed the granules into the trash as he passed it, putting the rag into the sink to be rinsed soon after. It was pretty busy right now but there wasn't anybody at the register. Maybe he could sneak a quick break-

"Aspen, someone's at the counter." his coworker spoke up, dashing his plans before they could be fully assembled.

He sighed. 

"Got it." Aspen replied, turning around and heading for the register. He signed in real quick before he looked up, smiling at his newest patron.

"Welcome to The Bean. What can I get you?" he asked, his customer service smile in place. He dutifully grabbed several cups as the man rattled off his order, scribbling abbreviations for extra shots and sweetener on the little boxes provided on side. When all was said and done, he told the man his total and gave him his change after he paid. 

"I'll have your order up in just a moment. Have a nice day." 

Aspen kept his smile in place as the man turned away, placing his change in the tip jar on the corner of the counter before he went and sat down. The albino took the opportunity to then push his hands through his hair, heading over to the coffee machines to start making the beverages. 

He was steaming milk when a very familiar laugh tickled his hearing and made his chest tighten. Immediately his head was snapping up, trying to peer over the bulk of the steam machine and all the syrup dispensers.

"Gavin?" he murmured, scanning the cafe for a head of raven hair. When he found it, he could've sworn his heart had jumped into his throat. 

Gavin was sitting right there.

_Right fucking there._

Aspen couldn't believe how close they were. It had been about eight months since he had last seen Gavin, if his memory served him right. Eight months since he had last heard his deep baritone rumble of a laugh or stared into his chocolate brown eyes...

It felt like an eternity.

Aspen stared at Gavin, the vampire busy talking to his patrol buddies. He had no clue he was being watched but Aspen didn't mind. He was kind of glad, to be honest. He wasn't sure if Gavin would appreciate him looking at all, really. He had said he didn't want to see him ever again...

The albino licked his lips.

He probably still wanted nothing to do with him. He had hurt him pretty bad and Gavin had already given him plenty of chances.

Still though.... They were bonded. Surely, if he just said hello, Gavin couldn't be mad at him. It wasn't like he was going to ask him to take him back... 

Even if he really did want him too. 

"Aspen! You're burning the milk! Quit day dreaming!" 

Startled, Aspen was jolted out of his inner musings, nearly spilling the oversteamed milk all over himself and the floor. He managed to catch it in time though, saving himself the embarassment and further ire of the shift manager on duty. 

"Sorry, Ikeda." he mumbled, quickly dumping the useless milk and getting some more, making sure to do it right.

Ikeda snorted, stern face growing even sterner as he watched the albino fix his mistake. "Sure. Just make sure you apologize to the customers for making them wait." he said, pushing up his glasses. 

Aspen felt his glower on his back for several more moments before he was left alone. He heaved a sigh of relief and hurried to get all the coffee ready.

___________

Gavin blinked, lifting his head up a little at the noise of some sort of commotion behind the service counter. 

_Did somebody say Aspen?_

Brown eyes narrowed, scanning the surrounding area for a flash of white skin or silver hair. When nothing caught his eye, however, he pouted. 

_I could've sworn I heard his name..._

The vampire's frown drew the attention of his company, a rough shove to his side with a bony elbow proof that he had been caught. Gavin hissed from the jab and turned to glare at his patrol partner, Talen giving him a weird look in return.

"What's wrong with you?" the elf grumbled. "Stop staring into space."

Gavin rubbed his side. "Sorry. I just thought I heard someone, that's all." he explained. "You don't have to ram your elbow into my ribs..."

Talen rolled his eyes. "Whatever. We were in the middle of planning the party..."

In the middle of his lecture, he suddenly trailed off, Gavin observing as the other's expression grew stormy. 

"...What is **he** doing here?"

___________________________

 

Aspen couldn't believe his lucky stars. 

The coffee order he had taken was for Gavin's table. 

Not only would he be able to get up close to the vampire, and maybe catch a wiff of his cologne, but he might actually be able to say hi. 

_Maybe he'll say hi back._

Aspen had to contain his excitement. He knew Gavin was probably still kinda mad but if he could get a greeting from him then... Oh, it would just be the best thing ever. He really needed some motivation. A nice hello from those perfect lips of his mate would the trick.

Aspen pratically pranced over to the table. He had his happy face on, a true one, but no one needed to know that he was super geeked to just be the waiter for his ex. That would surely cause some weird rumors, probably involving him being some machosist or having a slave link or whatever.

Aspen hummed a little tune to himself as he neared. His little song dimmed though, seeing the angry glares of Talen and some of the rest of the people at the table. 

Oh. 

He had forgotten about Talen.

Slowing, Aspen felt some of his excitement wane. Talen didn't like him, and he couldn't say he liked him either. Yet he was Gavin's best friend and partner. There was no telling what dirt Talen had on him and he could totally cockblock his whole opportunity if he really wanted to be a dick.

The expression on his face confirmed that Aspen's chances of a nice greeting from him were slim to none.

But... Still... 

Gavin was right there. 

The albino came up to the table, shaking a little as several sets of unimpressed eyes, including Gavin's, settled on him. He tried not to think about it, voice gone soft as he set the drinks on the table.

"And a triple mocha cafe, extra sugar, whole milk." He set the last cup down, holding the tray to his chest afterwards. "Can I get you anything else?" 

His hopeful gaze settled on Gavin, silently begging the vampire to say something to him.

Talen, however, didn't agree.

"Don't you have something else to do?" the elf barked, canines flashing a bit. "We're in the middle of a meeting. Go suck your boss in the bathroom or something."

His eyes glinted dangerously, cruel, and a smirk formed on his lips as Aspen's filled with mortification. "That **is** what you do best, isn't it?"

.

.

There was a very long pause after that. 

The color had visibly drained from Aspen's face as he was called out, red eyes about the size of the serving tray he was holding. 

Talen had just...

Aspen's eyes flitted to the different faces at the table, as if looking for affirmation that the elf had just said what he did. The expressions he found there weren't comforting and further made him quake with embarassment, their mocking and disgusted glares punching right through whatever little hope he had had.

The albino swallowed thickly, Adam's Apple bobbing as his throat tightened and tears threatened to spill over. 

He should've never come over here.

"'M sorry." he mumbled, the words running together as he turned as quickly as possible and hurried away, hand over his mouth as he tried to keep from openly sobbing in the cafe.

He was so fucked. So utterly fucked.

Why did he ever think it would be easy?

He pushed past several servers, disappearing into the employee bathroom.

_________________

Gavin blinked, what had transpired between Aspen and Talen had only taken seconds but he could see how damaged it had left the smaller man.

The absolute horror and then remorse and finally grief that had flickered through Aspen's eyes had made his heart twinge with guilt.

They may have been having a rough time, but Gavin didn't wish for him to be hurt like that. That was cruel.

When Aspen ran off, the scent of tears wafting behind him, Gavin had scowled and rammed his elbow into Talen's ribs, hissing. "Why the hell did you do that?" he demanded, not at all amused with his patrol partner.

The elf cringed under the physical attack, jerking away and holding his side. "What?" he snipped. "You said you were over him. I just made sure he knew that."

"I'm not going to let him fool you again Gavin. He's just trouble." 

"I didn't ask you to be my guard dog. That was going too far." Gavin replied, giving Talen a hard look. 

Talen snorted. "Well it worked."

Gavin and Talen had a one sided glaring contest, with Gavin winning and Talen skillfully ignoring him in favor of talking about the party for their boss. The vampire kept it up for some time, having to get his frustration out somehow, but eventually he just withdrawed from the group altogether, sitting back in his seat and watching the cafe for a certain somebody.

For the next half hour, Aspen did not come out of the bathroom and by that time Gavin had to go. 

He found that he was deeply troubled by how Talen had handled the situation, despite the fact that he wasn't happy with the albino. Being that mean had been uncalled for and his concious wouldn't let him be. 

As he left the cafe, Gavin made a mental note to come back and see to it that things were smoothed out. Not only to settle his guilt, but to maybe get some info on how the kids were doing, baby included. 

He pushed the door open and trotted to the parking lot.


	18. Poor Unfortunate Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sugary treats and guilty Vampires.

After Talen's remark, Aspen truly felt dead inside. 

It wasn't as though he hadn't felt like crap before, but now it had really just hit home and he had no means of relieving any of the pain. There was of course getting drunk, but he couldn't blow his paycheck on liquor all the time. He did have to eat and he needed to be on point when at work.

It was just very, very difficult at the moment.

Aspen quietly rinsed out one of the measuring cups out in the sink, putting things away. The shop was closing for the night and he was the one who had gotten stuck closing shop. 

He didn't mind. Its not like he had anywhere to go really.

He stacked the now clean cups on the counter and moved towards the display case for the pastries, helping himself to the leftovers. Aspen picked the last cinnamon bun, biting into it as he pulled it out. He really wanted sugar and this gooey treat made him feel somewhat better against all the crap that was happening. He still felt he would cry if pushed the wrong way, but at least now he could distract himself by stuffing his face with artisan goods.

Aspen continued to eat, moping around as he finished up the last bit of his chores. Well, everything was done, as soon as he finished this he could close up and take the garbage around back.

Then it was off to the park bench.

He sighed. Yeah. He was living the high life.

The man shoved the remaining part of the bun into his mouth, licking the icing from his fingers as he moved to gather up the trash. While he was busy knotting the drawstrings, the bell to the shop door jingled, alerting him that someone had walked in.

Odd. The door should have been locked. The sign said closed. _Fuckin' Frankie probably forgot to lock it on his way out though, fucking dweeb._

"We're closed." Aspen said, a slight tone of exasperation tinting the edges of his announcement. The man finished up his task before he turned around and nearly fell over in shock.

"Hi Aspen..."

________________________

 

Gavin had been thinking hard about what Talen had done to his mate. He knew the elf was just looking out for him, but public humiliation had never been Gavin's idea of getting back at the albino for how he had treated him. He had figured the separation was enough.

He wasn't sure why he was even going back. He had said he didn't want anything to do with Aspen, but he just couldn't let this pass. He had to make sure that the other knew Talen had gotten a little out of hand and that it wasn't his doing. Maybe if he did that it would lessen some of the guilt he was feeling.

He had gone to the shop, a little late, but he could see movement inside so he had ignored the closed sign in favor of going in. The door wasn't locked, lucky for him, and he waited for Aspen to turn around after telling him to go away before he said anything.

"Hi Aspen..." he said, not sure how else to start.

The albino looked a little floored to see him standing there and he could say that he was too. He hadn't expected to be back anywhere near his ex, but, alas, he was.

"G-Gavin-" Aspen stuttered once he had gotten over his shock. He looked like he wanted to launch himself over the counter and hug him but pretty soon his open excitement switched to something brooding and guarded and he pulled away as quickly as he came. 

"Here to rub in what Talen said?" the albino murmured quietly, unable to hold his gaze. Gavin watched as the smaller man hugged himself, appearing to be in discomfort. "I got the message pretty clear... Sorry I bothered you..."

Gavin shook his head, stepping up the counter. His husband cowered behind it further, shrinking away. "No, actually." he started. "I came to apologize, actually."

The brief look of surprise and, dare he say, glimmer of hope in those tired red eyes across from him made him feel equal parts sick and sad. Sick because Aspen honestly thought he was just going to take him back and sad because he looked so pitiful. The albino was a proud creature. Pity didn't look good on him.

He kept his voice neutral. "This doesn't mean I want to mend anything with our relationship, but I do want you to know that what Talen said was nothing I would have put him up to. He was out of line and I'm sorry he said those things."

Aspen's eyes had found the floor again after the first part of his message, mood sinking. Well, he supposed it was dumb of him to assume that Gavin felt bad for him but it still hurt like a bitch being told no. He had really been hoping that, if only for a second, Gavin was considering taking him in. 

He just really wanted some companionship right now...

"...Whatever. 'S fine." Aspen finally mumbled after a bit of dejected staring. He shuffled back over to the pastry case and pulled out another treat, quickly eating it. Maybe if he stuffed himself full of this sweet stuff he'd die of a sugar over dose eventually. 

"You can go..."

Gavin noticed the avoidance. He was tempted to let it pass but he also wanted to know about his children so he stayed put, Aspen eventually casting a look at him as he tried to eat the entire leftover display from that day.

"What?"

"How are the kids?"

Aspen stared at his ex for a long time after that. What was he supposed to say? Oh, I got evicted from my apartment and I sleep on the streets so I sent them to their grandfathers and abandoned the baby too? No. that would never go over well and he couldn't lie either. Vampires had a nose for that sort of stuff.

He was stuck.

"...Fine." he finally blurted out, nervously pushing a lock of hair back out of his face. It still needed to get cut.

Gavin narrowed his eyes, the late response and fidgeting not good signs.

"Aspen. Tell the truth."

"What? They are fine. I'm not lying." _Please don't make me say it._

"Yes you are."

"No, I'm serious. They-" _Please._

"Aspen. What happened to the children? Tell me right now or I swear-"

"I sent them to their grandfathers'!" Aspen blurted, cutting Gavin off as he finally broke under the pressure. He choked out a sob. "I sent them away because I got evicted. I didn't want them to have to live on the streets with me because I fucked up, okay?! Are you happy now?!"

Gavin blinked, surprised. 

"You... Sent them to France?" 

Aspen nodded, blubbering between sniffles. The vampire frowned. "..Even the baby?"

"Of course the fucking baby." the albino snipped, glaring at his ex. He wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I couldn't care for an infant in the middle of winter. I... I had to leave him at the hospital." Aspen rubbed his arm. "I wanted to take him with me... I... I didn't want to leave him there. I felt so horrible..."

Gavin stepped up to the counter. "Why didn't you call me? You didn't tell me you were homeless. I would've-"

"You would've what?" The barista glowered at Gavin, red eyes stricken with pain and grief. He stomped over to the counter and jabbed a finger in Gavin's chest, suddenly bold as tears leaked down his face. "Helped me? You told me you didn't want to see me again. You told me I could work will I popped and keep on working after that."

"Did you honestly think I would call after that? You made it clear. You didn't want to talk to me or see me again, so I kept my problems to myself. I did what I had to do." 

Aspen quieted after that. "Even if it meant giving up my babies..."

The vampire watched his mate as he struggled with his emotions, obviously conflicted. He hesitantly spoke up. "I would've helped the kids, Aspen. I love them too." He frowned. "But no, I'm not going to forgive what you did. Me and you are not on the same level as the children. If they need something then I'm going to try my damned hardest to make sure they get it. As for you... well... I can't overlook what you did."

He waited for the smaller man to respond, Aspen's face twisting into a grimace as he swallowed thickly. 

"Yeah... I know." Aspen murmured, moving away from Gavin once again after a long stretch of silence. He wiped his face again, inhaling shakily. "The kids matter. I don't. But it's been taken care of so don't worry. Just... Just go away."

The barista turned away, going back to his work. Gavin watched his back. 

He wanted to leave. Aspen had sent his kids away and hadn't told him. That was a major violation of his rights and whatever trust he had left with Aspen to at least allow him that liberty. However, at the same time, he couldn't find it in him to blame Aspen fully. 

He had said he was done with their relationship. Why would Aspen call him, even in an emergency? 

He sighed. He wouldn't, that's why.

The pale man was lifting the trash out of the can when Gavin came out of his inner musings, sniffing quietly to himself. Every so often there would be a soft sob, but, for the most part Aspen was silently brooding, done with their conversation and holing up on himself. 

It made Gavin feel bad.

"...Do you have a place to stay tonight?"

_What? Wait, where did that come from?_

The question seemed to reach Aspen, and shock him too, because the vampire noticed the slight hike in his shoulders before they smoothed back over and the albino had picked up the pace, tying the last garbage bag up with a new sense of urgency.

"Why do you care?"

 _Yeah, **why** do I care?_ "...Because I know you're hurting..." 

Aspen paused at that, frozen in place. Very, very slowly he turned around, looking at Gavin as though he were some new species or something. Was he joking? He, he didn't look like he was, if the rather somber look to his face meant anything. 

But... but why would he-?

"I don't understand..." Aspen said, obviously confused. "Why would you... Why would you care? I hurt you, remember?"

_Yeah, no shit._

Gavin put his hands in his pockets. "Because. Yeah, you hurt me... but you're hurting too." He rocked back onto his heels, looking down at the floor. "I know you love the kids, and the only reason you would do something like send them to France is because you wanted the best for them. I know it's hurting you to... well... be alone. That's why I care. You gave them up so that they would be better off... I can't ignore that, even if I am mad at you. You've always been a good mom."

There was a long pause.

"...I really do miss them..." Aspen whimpered, his crying starting anew and breaking the quiet. "I-I wanna hold them again... But I can't. I just... I just can't...

He bawled, the barista wiping his eyes as the tears flowed freely. He was so, so lonely. He hated being apart from his children. There was a big void inside of him that he couldn't ignore when they weren't there and he really just wanted them back so that they could be together again and that he could feel some sense of peace. He wanted to be a good mother, give them whatever they wanted, but he simply couldn't and it tore him up on the inside.

"I miss them so much..."

Gavin, meanwhile, couldn't deny that watching his mate made him feel terrible. Deep down, a part of him that was still very much devoted to their bond and mate status was chastising him for causing this pain. If he had just stayed with Aspen, then the albino would still have his children and he wouldn't be crying. He'd be fine. They all would. He tried to reason with that side of him by pointing out that Aspen had disrespected them and their bond plenty of times, but the smaller man's crying soon brought his argument to a halt as his heartstrings were pulled. 

He hated to see Aspen crying. He was the one who depended on his provisions and because of his lack of doing so he was now the one suffering. 

He had to fix this.

"I know." he said, speaking up so that Aspen would hear him. He waited for the man to calm down a little bit before continuing. "I know..."

"Aspen... What you did was a big sacrifice and I respect that... So, I can't let you live on the streets. Not when you gave it all up just so our kids would be set." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I... I want you to come stay at my apartment. Just until you get back on your feet."

Aspen sniffed, shaking his head. "No..."

"Yes." Gavin leaned over the counter. "It's not an option, Aspen. I don't care if you don't want to. You already did your part so just take the handout, ok?" 

He softened his tone a little, realizing he may have gotten a bit brisk. Aspen's sudden silence told him so. 

"Just... Please, Aspen." he tried again. "I know you can't handle being lonely. I know we aren't on the best of grounds right now but I **can't** sit here and watch you be like this. You're a wreck."

Aspen rubbed his arm, hesitant. "I thought you wanted me to feel this way. As revenge..."

Gavin snorted. "I did... but it doesn't feel as good as I thought." He tilted his head. "Now, are you almost done here? I want to go home."

The albino nodded slowly. He took the garbage bags and set them out before doubling back for his duffel and the goodie bag of the few leftover sweets that still needed to be cleaned out. Once the trash was thrown out and the shop locked up, Aspen awkwardly followed Gavin back to his car and got in.

As they drove away from the darkened shop, Aspen felt the need to speak, and he did so quietly, unsure of how it would be taken.

"Thank... thank you, Gavin. I really appreciate this..." 

Gavin kept his gaze on the road, ignoring Aspen's puppyish expression of gratefulness.

"Just remember the conditions of our agreement." he muttered. 

Aspen's expression sobered at that and the vampire received a small nod before the pale man took to looking out the window, forlorn.


	19. A Vicious Cycle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jerking in the bathroom and indecisive minds.

Living with Gavin wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

He was still lonely, Gavin practically avoiding him like the plague when he was home or working his schedule so that he wasn't there when Aspen was. 

The running made the albino feel that much more of a bane to everyone's existence, unable to be tolerated even in the smallest amounts. Often it reduced him to tears when Gavin finally scurried out of the flat or he was on his way to work. 

High school hadn't been this bad and he found that he was increasingly needy and pining for some sort of attention that no one would give him as the days went on. What made it worse was his new discovery regarding his feelings about his ex; feelings that he didn't think were good for either of them.

He was in love.

Well, falling back in to it, that was. 

Aspen found that, despite all logic, he was longing for Gavin. He wanted to snuggle the vampire, hold him close and never let him go. He wanted to pepper the other's neck with a hundred kisses and steal a hundred more from his lips. He wanted to court danger and lick his fangs, and then sink his hand below the waistband of his pants and stroke his dick to full mast and marvel over the huge fucking tent it would make in the fabric.

It didn't matter that Gavin regularly ran from him when they happened to cross paths once in a blue moon. Aspen had it bad and he couldn't help but regularly fantasize about getting back together and maybe sharing a bed again.

The albino wasn't completely dense, however. He knew he was still not in his ex husband's good graces so he took the steps to try and get there.

Aspen had taken to keeping the house clean and tidy. He had done it before, because he was a guest, but now it was with a new purpose. Aspen made sure that every dish he or Gavin used was promptly washed and put away and he kept his belongings neatly tucked and hidden. He regularly swept and cleaned all common parts of the house and he did the laundry with his own money.

His reasoning was that, maybe, just maybe, if he showed Gavin that he could take care of his house and show he was grateful for the other's generosity, he'd warm up a little and give Aspen the chance to woo him. So far, it hadn't garnered the desired reaction, but the smaller man was still hopeful that it might work.

In the meantime, he dealt with the inevitable desires that came with the territory secretly.

His favorite way to deal with a boner that popped up over a particular thought that had to do with Gavin was to go to the hamper. He'd rummage around in the clothes, looking for and finding the last shirt Gavin had worn and use that as sensory stimulation. 

Like right now.

Aspen's mind had granted him the rather lovely image of him and Gavin doing the nasty in his favorite position. Said pose happened to be doggystyle and he loved it because Gavin's solid weight draped over his back, his strong arms caging him in, and his breath hot on his neck made his toes curl and just made him feel submissive. Aspen may have been a power bottom at times, but he absolutely adored being dominated by the vampire and would happily bend over for him whenever he asked.

The man pressed Gavin's polo to his nose, the fabric drenched in the other male's cologne and natural musk. He inhaled deeply and shuddered, his knees quaking.

"Mmmm... You Smell so good baby..." he murmured to himself, eyes squeezed shut, sitting on the edge of the tub with his pajama pants around his ankles. There was no way he was going to jerk off on the couch. He couldn't risk Gavin seeing something that would give him away.

The pale man inahled again, the shirt pressed against his nose with one hand while the other pushed away his underwear and freed his cock from its confines. It stood at attention and Aspen curled his toes against the carpet of the bathroom rug at the first pull on his shaft.

Fuck it felt good. Almost as good as when Gavin did it. 

Aspen savored the first few strokes before he started to pick up the pace and rock his hips into his fist. 

He moaned into the shirt, greedily sucking in his mate's left over pheremones. They drove him wild and the only thing better would have been if they were fresh. 

He jerked himself, squeezing the base a bit and pulling upwards with the same consistent pressure. The coil in his belly was growing tighter by the minute and he let out a muffled new as he felt the intense ladder that was orgasm get closer to the top.

"Fuck... _Gavin_!" 

Aspen arched his back, the shirt still pressed to his face as he gasped out in pleasure. His release splattered against the tile, just missing the carpet, and he whimpered while coaxed the last few remaining droplets out with a steady hand.

When he was finished, his short romp left him feeling light headed and relaxed. It was a nice feeling, he decided. Much better than the ache of lonliness carving a hole into his chest. 

He tucked himself back into his underwear after wiping himself off, standing and proceeded to clean up the rest of his mess with powerful cleaners. He couldn't risk Gavin catching a wiff. The vampire would probably kick him out of he did, so he scrubbed hard to make sure no scent or evidence would be left before spraying air Lysol around the room.

Once everything smelled disinfected, Aspen left the space, returning to his couch to sit and wait work.

___________________

Gavin wasn't sure what to think of his new life living with his ex.

It wasn't like before, where he had pined over the shorter man, practically begging for any chance to get closer to him. Now it was more like he was inviting something into his home that didn't belong. A rat. A pest.

_Vermin._

Gavin couldn't remember a time where he had been so angry. He knew he had a reson to be upset at Aspen, but his hatred for the albino surprised him. The man had been his husband and mate for a successful span before it all crumbled. How could he hate him, and hate him with such venom, when there were good memories behind the viel of recent doings.?

Despite all reason, he still did.

Gavin found he didn't want to be near Aspen at all. The other repulsed him greatly, seeing him bringing back memories of what he had caught Aspen doing that had personally affronted him and had stepped on their bond. It was no secret that he tried to stay away from the other as much as possible, and it wasn't hard to see what affects his hasty exits had on the very person he was running from.

Aspen wasn't a bad roommate. In fact, if his bond wasn't super hyper aware and paranoid of the man's presence, he probably wouldn't have noticed that he lived with anyone at all. 

The albino was tidy and quiet. He kept his things out of view and he cleaned before he left or after he ate. It was like he was trying to make a little an impact on Gavin as possible. 

Which was good. Really. He didn't want to know Aspen was there. In fact, he wanted to believe he shared his house with only a ghost of his imagination.

But, every now and then, he would run into the albino.

And he could see the utter loneliness that had consumed him.

Gavin had remembered Aspen's eyes as always full of life, glittering like rubies with his emotions. They sparked with rage and when they made love they were deep scarlet pools that promised the answers to the universe. Now when he saw them... well... he didn't know how to finish that exactly.

Dull? Bovine? 

_Dead._

Yeah, that was it.

It was when Gavin would see those tired eyes, absolutely void of emotion, would he see that his ex husband was still a person, and one that needed attention and care.

But he didn't want to be the one to give it to him. 

Aspen had thoroughly disrespected him, their mated status, and their legal contracts. He had sent the kids away to France, without asking him for his input, had whored himself out, and had been verbally abusive to him during the first few months of his pregnancy. 

Aspen, in all sense, was a horrible mate.

Gavin, as time stretched on and the length that Aspen stayed with him turned to months, he questioned why he had even dated Aspen in the first place.

It may have been the hate and scorn clouding his judgement, but really the albino was sub par. There were so many others out there that he could've chosen. He probably would've ended up better with them, too.

But why had he taken a chance an allowed himself to get swept up in the other's shit?

Maybe it was his laugh. 

When he wasn't scowling or barking at him, Gavin could always count on hearing that wonderful sound. It was a soft kind of laugh, not forced or fake, and it made Gavin's spine tingle everytime he heard it.

Or maybe it was his smile. A flash of bright, white teeth against pale, pink lips. 

Or maybe it was his eyes, always strikingly vibrant, head turning and awe inducing.

Or, maybe, just maybe, it was his personality. Under his coarse shell there was a man who liked the domestic scene, who cherished romantic antics and spending time with the kids. Aspen was undeniably gentle and doting when he wasn't in a fit, motherly and just wishing to please. 

Gavin knew that he had only wanted acceptance in life. Aspen had told him about how he had been bullied in high school, about how he had little self confidence and had had his heart broken. The emotional scarring had made him bitter when they met, but he alone had helped Aspen shed those pains and open himself back up, allowing him to show his true colors.

Perhaps, through it all, Gavin couldn't truly hate him. Not when he knew what was inside.

It bothered him to know that he was once again starting to feel empathy for his ex. He shouldn't, not after all the hurt he had put him through. But then he would remember that Aspen had been alone for a long time, forced to think about his actions and suffer the consequences. 

Surely that was enough of a punishment, a small, tiny part of him would say, the bond still loyal despite his malice.

The vampire couldn't believe it. 

He hated the bond. He didn't want it there any more. He wanted it to be pulled out from the roots and give him some peace as a free man instead of starting to feel bad about leaving Aspen alone without so much as a word. The albino didn't deserve it. He had given him enough chances already.

But he was a slave to that animal part of him, the one that demanded he think differently. Aspen had been punished enough. His mate had no nest or young to take care of. He was alone and hurting. It was his duty to make him feel better, even if he had been abused. 

Gavin refused, and then found himself repeating the cycle all over again.


	20. Hope... Oh, Wait, Nevermind.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk talk and making people cry.

It was a Friday when Gavin stumbled into the apartment, his steps uncoordinated and his speech slurred. 

He tried to take off his shoes by the door but it ended in failure and he cursed loudly, the coat rack beside him caught in the cross hairs as he flailed his arms to keep his balance, landing on its side on the ground with a metalic thud. The sound seemed to echo in the room, sounding much too loud than it should have. He saw movement in the corner and turned his head to look, frowning.

His racket had awoken the one person he had been avoiding for the last few months. Aspen sat up on the couch, sluggish and slow, and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

Aspen, meanwhile, had been having the best dream. It had been soft and fluffy, you know. One of those good dreams he so rarely had anymore. What could possibly be happening at this hour, and why did it have to be so loud? It certainly didn't make him feel very cheery to be pulled from his inner reality, where he hadn't fucked up his everything.

 

"Gavin?" the albino asked, squinting through the dark. It had to be the vampire. Who else would come in this late? He reached and fumbled for the lamp beside his 'bed' when he could see nothing but shadows, pulling the string and illuminating the room with a soft light.

The albino took in his ex's appearance once it was exposed. 

Gavin was ragged looking, his clothes untucked and wrinkled. His eyes, usually soft, were glassy and even from several feet away the stench of liquor reached his nose. It stung his nostrils and he grunted in displeasure at the strong odor.

Gavin was drunk. 

Positively reeling.

Aspen sat forwards, swinging his legs over so that they were braced on the floor and he was sitting on the edge. Gavin had never come home drunk before. It concerned him, worry winding tight into his heart. Why would he come home in such a state? Had something gone wrong?

"Gavin... What happened?" he tried, gentle. The response he recieved was not what he expected.

"Little shit," the vampire slurred, leaning heavily on the wall. He glared at Aspen, brow furrowed tight. "You... You treated me like crap... Like a whole lotta crap. All I ever did was l-love you... Make you feel special. And you just threw it away!"

The drunken man pushed himself off the wall, staggering over to Aspen and almost collapsing on top of him. He snorted, continuing his triade once he was holding himself up.

"I dun even know why I liked you. You're not that pretty, you're mean... And... And you hurt people. You hurt them a lot, even when they nice to you... Why?" Gavin gave his ex a confused glance, the other's more shock and hurt as Gavin let out what was bottled inside.

"I hate you." Gavin hissed once the confusion had passed, his anger with the albino coming, unhindered. "I hate you... So much. I never want to be around you... Because you suck... You took my heart... My heart! And you stomped on it. Like... Like a bug!"

He growled, teeth flashing. "I hate you so much. I hate you so much, I wish you would die."

Silence.

Aspen felt his tiny little shard of hope that he had been sheltering in his heart shatter at Gavin's words, turned to dust under the force of Gavin's hate.

He had no doubt that what Gavin was saying was true. Drunken men were the most truthful, right? Their brains were unable to make correct decisions, or keep their mouths shut. 

Unable to lie to keep appearances.

Everything Gavin was saying was hurtful and true and Aspen felt his lip wobble and his eyes sting with tears. Who was he trying to fool... He was nothing but a burden, someone that no one would ever want or could deal with. He was unlikeable and ugly and whatever chance he had made up for himself was never going to happen.

He'd always be alone and disliked....

The albino almost let out a sob, the emotions sweeping him up and carrying back to that never ending emptiness, where everything was cold and detached because that's what he deserved. He was a loser, a whore, and an unfit mother. 

And then the soft press of lips upon his made him quiet, brought him back.

He blinked up in surprise as Gavin kissed him, completely shocked. What? What was going on?

When the kiss was broken the vampire looked perplexed, yet again, as though trying to figure his own actions out. When he spoke, after a terribly long stretch of silence, his voice was soft, sounding as though he regretted his previous words after his moment of thought.

"But I don't want you to die... I dun wanna leave you alone..."

Aspen stared at his mate silently, red eyes wide as dinner plates. He... He didn't want him to die? Did that mean...?

His breath hitched when Gavin kissed him again. It was different this time though, a tentative nibble on his bottom lip finally making let out the breath he didn't know he had been holding, and encouraged him to return the gentle pressure. 

His eyes fluttered shut and he moved his own lips against Gavin's curious ones, relishing in the soft texture of the vampire's skin. Warmth pooled in his belly and he liked it. He liked it so much. He didn't want this to end, his mind starved for this affection, this closeness that he had been so denied.

Gavin made a pleased noise when Aspen responded, seeming to have been waiting for him to do so. Soon the albino felt one of the vampire's large hands snake to the nape of his neck and squeeze. It didn't hurt though and Aspen breathed out a quiet "oh" as the vampire's fingers got tangled in his too long hair and carefully pulled his head back, exposing the ivory coloumn of his neck.

It took all of Aspen's willpower not to openly moan right then. He wasn't sure what was happening but he didn't want Gavin to think he was taking advantage of him. Still, it had been so long since anyone had touched him... He wasn't sure he could handle it.

He put his hand on Gavin's shoulder and gripped it as said man continued to hover around his neck, intending on telling the vampire to stop. There was no sense in getting himself worked up or letting this continue to possible dangerous instances. Gavin's breath, however, was hot on his skin and Aspen felt the goosebumps that followed the heat. 

What was he doing? Gavin wasn't saying anything any more. He had no clue where this was going and a part of him worried that Gavin would come out of his haze and take it all back. 

Aspen was torn from his thoughts as he felt teeth graze his skin once, then bite a little harder, right over his throat. He yipped in reaction, whimpering at the pain the followed the bite and pulled away slightly, not sure if Gavin was contemplating on tearing his throat out. The vampire had said he had wanted him to die earlier. Maybe he was going to do it himself.

Aspen moved to put distance between his throat and Gavin's teeth but was met with resistance as the hand behind his head held him firmly in place. Gavin rumbled lowly in his throat, a warning, and Aspen was well versed enough to understand and obey, despite his mind screaming at him to flee.

He was scared, Gavin confirmed as he pushed his nose to his mate's neck. His foggy brain had noted the change in the scent and he carefully sought to remedy the problem. He wasn't going to hurt him, but he was going to stake his claim and his dominance. He didn't want him to be afraid though. The sour notes of fear were unappealing and his hand that was fisted in Aspen's hair began to gently massage the albino's scalp as a coaxing method. 

He did this for some time, desensitzing Aspen to his presence near his neck. He nipped and placed his teeth constantly, but not harshly, mind you, and rubbed his scalp until the other finally started to relax under his ministrations. When he felt the tense coil of muscles go limp in his hold the vampire purred loudly as praise, pulling Aspen to his lap as he kneeled on the floor.

Aspen perched himself precariously on the vampire's wide lap, biting his lip slightly as he was able to look at Gavin in the eye.

"W...Why are you doing this?" 

His question was quiet, unsure if he wished to know the answer. Gavin picked up on the notes of hopefullness under the insecurity, howevever, and he only purred again as reassurance. He kept Aspen on his lap and close to him, alcohol still bussing in his sytem. The vampire leaned forwards and nuzzled Aspen's neck gently, inhaling deeply. 

"Behave..." He murmured, lips brushing along a jumping pulse. 

"B-Behave?" Aspen swallowed. "But, what-"

" _Behave_... And I'll take care of you again..."

Gavin looked at Aspen, refusing to let him go. He wasn't going to let Aspen suffer anymore, or himself for that matter, his alcohol inebriated brain decided. He was going to keep the albino close and the only tears or tantrums that were to happen from then on would be from their children. He might even give Aspen another baby, just to keep him happy and relaxed. 

Aspen, however, didn't seem as convinced. Gavin saw the slight glimmer of hope and then the immediate sadness. He cocked his head to the side as his mate opened his mouth to speak.

"Y... You're drunk." Aspen pointed out, quiet. He looked away, unable to meet Gavin's gaze. He was offering him something that would never be his. He just had to accept that. 

"Aspen."

"Please... Don't." The albino said, voice serious. "Just... I can't. This isn't real, and I want it to be, b-but its not-"

" _Aspen_." Gavin interrupted, his grip on Aspen's hips tightening. He reached up and turned the albino's head to face him.

"I know what I'm saying. I can make decisions."

"But they aren't rash decisions."

" _Yes_ , they are." 

"No, Gavin-"

"Stop."

Aspen quieted as Gavin asked him, not sure what to expect now. He'd probably pissed the vampire off and now he was going to change his mind. 

Good.

Instead, Gavin kissed him again, surprisingly gentle even though he was wasted. 

"I'm not going to let you be hurt any more." He murmured against his lips. "You're my mate and I'm going to take care of you."

Aspen whimpered. "You hate me..."

"I could never hate you..."

The albino sobbed, unable to do anything when those words left Gavin's mouth. 

He knew he shouldn't believe it, but the man sounded so earnest, and he wanted acceptance so badly. Maybe he could trust his drunken ramblings and they wouldn't backfire in the end.

He threw his arms around Gavin's neck and held him close, sobbing into his neck.

"Please... I'm sorry... For everything... I want this, so badly..."

Gavin cradled him to his chest, standing. "Shhh..." he rumbled, supporting Aspen's weight. The smaller man wrapped his legs around his waist and he put a hand under Aspen's ass to hold him up. 

Aspen continued to cry, overwhelmed with the amount of kindness he was being given. When he was placed in Gavin's bed he sobbed even harder, the feeling of a mattress almost foreign to him after his months of sleeping on benches and a lumpy couch. The sheets smelled like him, and everything was so soft.

He didn't deserve it. 

"Please... Let this be real.." he blubbered, Gavin crawling up to him. 

The vampire nuzzled him again and kissed the tears away, laying beside him with a huff and holding him close. He offered no more words, soon falling asleep, but his grip on Aspen never faultered through the night.

_____________

 

Morning came and thats when shit hit the fan.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" Gavin barked, the gentle, caring nature he had displayed last night replaced with fury.

Aspen jolted awake, startled, and when he looked at Gavin he goldfished, unsure if what to say.

"I- Gavin-" 

"Get out!"

The albino flung himself out of the bed, falling on the floor in his haste to evacuate. Gavin pounced in the edge and breathed fire down at him as he crawled towards the opposite wall. 

"Why were you in my bed? What made you think I want you in here?!"

Aspen whimpered, his knee hurting a bit from his fumble, but he stood and braced his back against the wall. 

"Y-you brought me here." Aspen said, quivering at the look of pure anger on Gavin's face. 

He should've known better... It was too good to be true.

"What?" Gavin barked. "Why would I fucking do that?"

Aspen flinched. Yeah, why would he? "You came home drunk! I- you told me you wanted me to die and that you hated me. B... But then you said you didn't and you... And you kissed me."

His knees knocked together, Gavin's bull like snorts piercing the silence. 

"Aspen..." He growled, a warning. But Aspen kept going. 

"You did. Really! I- I'm not making this up." He dared to look at Gavin. "You kissed me... And you told me you'd take care of me... That I wouldn't get hurt any more..."

"I didn't want to stay... I didn't believe it... But you wouldn't let me leave. You kept holding me." He bit his lip. "Please, Gavin, I'm being honest-"

" _Shut. Up._ "

Aspen snapped his jaw shut and quivered as Gavin got off the bed and stalked over to him, still furious. 

The vampire towered over him when he finally reached him, caging him in with his bulk. Aspen shook harder.

"I don't know what you thought was going on, but whatever I did when I was drunk is not what's going to happen."

He growled. "You're not my husband any longer and you damaged our mating bond beyond repair. I don't feel anything for you except pity and disgust. You're only here so that you can get your shit together and get our kids back to this country."

"There is no us. There will never be an us. Your second chances are over."

Gavin glared down at the quivering head of silver hair, the scent of tears heavy in the air. He curled his lip back in disgust. 

"Get out of my room. Your place is on the couch." He snorted. "Now."

He didn't have to speak twice, Aspen hurrying from the room. Seconds later he heard the bathroom door close, surely to hide the others crying, and he stood there, alone with his thoughts. 

_Why did you do that?_ The bond hissed. _You don't feel that way at all. You hurt him!_

Gavin ran his fingers through his hair, scowling, but unable to deny the stone of guilt that had settled in his gut.

_Because he can't know how I really feel._


	21. Walking Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hollow shells and letters.

The one sided arguement left Aspen feeling even more hollow than before. 

At night he was plagued by nightmares of humiliation and sorrow and during the day he found it had to focus with Gavin's harsh words constantly cycling through his head.

Why had he thought it would change? The moment Gavin had stepped in the door he should have pretended to stay asleep or had left. If he had done that then he probably wouldn't had ended up as broken as he was now.

Aspen wasn't even really sure where to go from now. Every day just felt like a bigger disappointment. Before, he had been slightly more motivated to go and get his act together, but now he just didn't feel like doing much of anything.

He wasn't loved and his current job couldn't get him jack shit. Moving on and up was near impossible and his depression only worsened.

He spent many days after the fight pondering his choices. Either stay with Gavin and tempt the unattainable, or, go and live alone and most likely die alone because he was a piece of fucking trash. 

Yeah, the second choice sounded better. He wasn't worth much.

Aspen sat on the couch, his mood in the gutter. He was writing a letter for Gavin that included personal information, and, what he hoped was an adequate apology to all the shit he had put him through. The vampire would probably just throw it away after he used the number to contact Basile, but he felt the last bit of pain that had been festering leave him and stay on the paper. 

He folded it neatly, setting it aside. When his fingers left the paper and he stood, bag on his shoulder, Aspen didn't feel much of anything anymore. 

His mind was static and this body he was in was nothing but an empty husk. 

He left the apartment, putting the spare key under the door mat, and shuffled away.

_______

Gavin came home to an empty house.

Aspen didn't usually work this late, unless he was closing. But he only closed on Tuesdays. Today was Monday.

The vampire frowned, shrugging off his vest. He hung it up and glanced around the apartment, peering at Aspen's couch. 

The place felt... Off. Like it was missing something.

Gavin didn't know what could be amiss. Sure his roomate was missing but that could mean he had just been made to stay late. No big deal. 

So why did it feel wrong?

The man stood in the livingroom for a long time, looking around for signs to tell him what could be the issue. His gaze landed on the space between the couch and the wall. Aspen's bag was usually tucked back in there, his small life all packed away within a fabric container.

It wasn't there anymore.

The vampire frowned and strode over, checking for the bag. It wasn't there, his eyes having been truthful. 

Why would Aspen take his bag? He didn't need it, his job actually easier when he had less to tote. 

Where could it be and why had it been moved?

To settle his curiosity Gavin went around, scouring the apartment. The bag was still absent, even when he had looked everywhere, and he was now beginning to sense that something was up.

Gavin growled, pacing the length of his livingroom. Up until that point, the folded letter on the coffee table had home unnoticed. Sensing that it was there though Gavin picked it up and sat to read it with a huff.

It's contents shocked him.

_Dear Gavin,_

_I don't know how to convey my grief over everything that has happened to us over these past two years. I was wrong, and I will always wear the shame I caused in my heart._

_I know no amount of apologizing will make it right, and I've burned all the bridges I could. I'm not going to beg your forgiveness or ask you to remember our good memories. This letter, in its glory, is my final testimate to you. I only hope you get past this introduction and allow my words to be heard, for I don't think I'll ever speak again, nor will we ever see each other._

_I adore you. I know I've said that I've hated you, and that I wanted you to leave me alone, but the truth is that I couldn't ever really pull away from you. Every insult and slur was my poor attempt at trying to hide my fear. I loved you so much I hurt you and I never truly wished for anything bad to happen to you. I wish you the best on all of your patrols and rounds and I'm positive your sense of justice will make this city a better place._

_For every time I hurt you, physically or mentally, I hope I get my dues in hell when I get there. I never wanted to inflict harm but my actions speak for themselves. I hope you hate me for what I did, because I deserve it. I'm a monster that can't see when I have something good in front of me._

_The children are yours. I am the unfit one to care for them and I truly regret taking the custody. You are an avid role model and they need a father figure. I left Basile's number so that you could call and tell him that I changed the papers. I believe you can take them higher and teach them more than I ever could. Little Levi is probably worried he doesn't have a daddy, but he does, and its you. I'm glad for that. I want him to grow up not knowing about me at all. It's better that way. Ignorance is bliss and I'll take his hate if he finds out that I do exist. I deserve it. The same with the rest. Let them know I abandoned them. Having their infaturation despite what I've done is not right. I want their loathing._

_This concludes my letter. I won't bother you any more and I'm leaving the last remnants of the childish hope I had here with my writing. I'm also giving up my desire. I had you once, I fucked up, and now I am alone. That's how it is and how it shall stay. And I'm okay with that._

_Best of luck to you. I put my unwanted love in the gutter. I wish I could give it to you, but, sadly, its a tarnished thing._

_I don't blame you for rejecting it._

_A._

The words were followed by a phone number. Gavin, however, couldn't see past the words. 

This letter... It chilled him. Scared him. 

Aspen was leaving, and he was leaving his everything behind for him. 

What was he supposed to do? Be happy the man was gone?

He wasn't sure that was possible, his bond screaming at him in discontent. He wasn't happy with the albino... But that didn't mean he wanted him to leave.

Gavin chewed his bottom lip and reread the letter several times. His heart twisted with each successful reading and by the end of it he was crying.

Aspen thought he hated him. He thought he hated him so much that he had given up everything he held dear and gave it over in an effort to please him.

Gavin's stomach twisted.

He was in his feet before he knew it, grabbing his keys and rushing from his apartment. He clutched the letter close to his chest as he threw himself into his car and pulled away, scanning the dark streets for a sign of the man who had captured him so thoroughly.

He had to find him. He couldn't let him walk away again.


	22. Gotcha

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain and silence.

Gavin was scouring all the parks, alleys, and bus stop benches, hoping for a flash if silver hair or a slip of white skin to lead him to his absent mate. 

It had been at least two weeks since the albino had left his apartment, nothing but a heart wrenching letter to prove that he had even been there. During that time Gavin had spent every available second he had looking for the man, his letter inside his wallet. Sometimes it felt like a solid lead weight inside his pocket when another day had gone by and the search for Aspen wielded no results.

He wasn't sure where Aspen had gone, but each day without him made his stomach twist in grief over the fact that he had been the one to drive the smaller man away, even when he had paid for his behaviour twice over.

It was unacceptable and he had to find him. He had to make this better.

Today was Sunday, one day before it offically became three weeks since his mate's disappearance. The weather wasn't the best. It had been storming off and on all day, the sky a sickly green color and the wind strong enough to turn umbrellas inside out and possibly carry you away with then.

Gavin was patrolling his sector. Talen had taken the day off due to illness, the elf having caught a pretty nasty cold, so he was alone. That was fine by him really. Now he could actively lean over the seat and out his window in his search for his mate without rising suspicions. 

The vampire stopped at a stop light. The neighborhood he was in was next to a nature center and a college. The center wasn't really on his route but a drive by wouldn't hurt. He'd just take a quick loop around the pathway and then come back out. Maybe he'd see a deer. 

Or his ex.

The vampire pulled around the corner, his wipers going full speed to try and counterattack the downpour that had started some time ago. It didn't show any signs of letting up so he drove with his lights on and a light foot on the gas. Better safe and cautious then sorry.

He rested his cheek on his fist, driving slowly on the walkway that surrounded the park. The center was further towards the back, and he'd go down there later. Right now this would do and he kept his eyes peeled for anything suspicious.

He was pretty convinced that this detour was going to be a bust just like all the others when something looked off about a bench up ahead. 

Gavin hit the brakes, his cruiser lurching to a stop. He paid no mind to how he had stopped and instead leaned forward, eyes squinting hard to try to see through the rain battering the windshield.

There was a person on that bench. It looked like they had a blanket over their shoulders, huddled against the cold and wet. What stopped him from dismissing the figure and continuing on was the shimmer of white hair, illuminated by the headlights on his car.

His heart jumped into his throat and he scrambled to exit his cruiser. The lock suddenly seemed very hard to undo, slippery under his frantic fingers. When he finally got it to unlatch the door was thrown open and he was clamoring out, running over to the figure huddled on the bench.

"Aspen!" he called, sliding to a stop and dropping to his knees, right into a puddle. He barely took notice, too busy reaching for the pale, tiny hands that were.clutching the fabric and holding it closed.

He gripped them once he had them, displeased with how fucking cold they were. It was like they were made of ice or something. He blew on them to warm them somehow.

"Aspen... its okay. I've been looking for you everywhere. I'm so sorry I hurt you... I got your letter and... I..." Gavin shook his head, unsure how to justify his behavior. Speaking just wasn't enough.

He rubbed Aspen's frozen knuckles, the rain drenching him.as he sat there on his knees. It was a moment before the vampire reached up and pulled the blanket away from his face and head and gently touched one of the man's pale cheeks.

Aspen looked whiter than a sheet, the dark circles under his eyes evidence that he hadn't slept well during his time away. He was shivering slightly, the wind reaching him even through his blanket. It wasnt much protection though, the whole thing sopping wet. Aspen's hair hung like a curtain over his face, stuck to his skin and parted in places where the water directed the clumps to cluster. It was dirty, Gavin could see, and the stubble on his jaw was rough under his fingers. 

Gavin could tell that there was probably more to see, but right now, his mate shivering and shaking and staring past him made him push his curiosity away. 

"Come on darling," he coaxed, "Come with me. It's warmer in the car. I'll turn on the heat."

He stood, gently tugging on the albino's hands to get him moving. Aspen, surprisingly, refused.

"What? What's wrong?" Gavin asked, his hair dripping as the rain soaked him to the bone. "It's ok. I don't care if you're wet. You'll catch cold if you stay out here."

Aspen shook his head, trying to tug his hands away. He said nothing though and Gavin was perplexed by that alone. He was tempted to ask why he wasn't talking when a flash of lightning and the crack of thunder reminded him that they weren't very safe standing out in the open.

He tried again. "Come on Aspen. Please. It's not safe, and you're cold as hell." he insisted, his mate refusing once more. 

He dropped to his knees again, taking Aspen's thin face in his hands. "Darling, please. It's not safe... I've been looking for you for weeks now... Please come in the car."

Aspen was shaking, this time more from the cold, but his face showed no emotions. He was just vacantly staring, red eyes wide and wet. Gavin wasn't sure if it was from the rain or if he was crying.

Aspen made no move to get up. The second warning crack of thunder made him give up on trying to have him get up by himself. 

He scooped Aspen up in a bridal hold, his duffel slung over his shoulder, and hurried back to the cruiser. There, Aspen was safely deposited in the passenger seat, his duffel on the floor, and Gavin ran over to his side.

Inside the car, the roar of the rain was muted behind glass and metal. Gavin turned on the heat to warm his ex and helped him dry off with a spare towel he had in the back seat. 

When he was done, Aspen was somewhat dryer, and somewhat warmer, but he was still shaking and deathly quiet. Even his breathing seemed to be silent and Gavin watched him for a long, attempting to figure out the puzzle before him.

"I'm going to take you home, ok? My shift ends in thirty. I'll drive you around and then we'll go home and get you settled, ok?" Gavin said, keeping his voice low as if Aspen were some startled animal. The albino didn't move or show any reaction that would have hinted that he had been listening and the vampire could only frown in worry before he put the car back in drive and took them away.

_________

Once at home, Gavin carried his ex up the several flights of stairs to his apartment and straight to the bathroom. There, he drew the other a bath and saw to it that Aspen was taken care of. 

He washed the albino's hair twice and left some of the conditioner in at the end of the second round, then he scrubbed the other's bony body until every speck of dirt was done. Lastly, he helped the other shave, doing away with the stubble that littered his mate's jaw. 

As he worked he murmured sweet nothings and tried to coax conversation from the other only to be rewarded by more silence. It troubled Gavin to see the other so utterly detached, but he did his best to make the smaller man come back to earth.

Gavin removed Aspen from the tub and dried him off with a fluffy towel. He slathered some of his favorite lotion on and then, finally, dressed him in a pair of his pajamas.

By the end of it, Aspen was fresh and clean and drowning in flannel pants and a white tshirt. Gavin thought it was a mass improvement and he set the wet clothes aside to be washed later.

"Are you hungry?" he asked gently once the chores were over and everything was packed away. Aspen didn't say anything, simply looking at the floor with that same empty gaze. The vampire frowned and hurried to the kitchen to make something.

He managed to spoon feed Aspen a half a can of soup and a glass of water before he decided it was time for bed. He left the dishes on the coffee table and scooped Aspen back up, heading to bed with him and tucking him in.

He curled up behind Aspen, pulling the man close to his chest and hooking and arm around his waist, splaying his hand across Aspen's belly. 

He nuzzled him behind his ear, Aspen still unresponsive, but Gavin was certain that the other was at least comfortable and sated, even if he wasn't saying anything. 

"I'm never letting you go again..." he mumbled into the head of silvery locks. "Never..."


	23. Things You'll Never Say To Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mutes and confessions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is short. Sorry.

It had been a week and a half since Aspen had been back at Gavin's apartment. During that time, he still hadn't said anything, or really engaged with Gavin. In all, he sat there and vacantly stared at his hands or some spot on the wall. 

It worried the vampire greatly. 

At first, he had been worried that Aspen would make a run for it if he left him alone. He didn't know what the other's thought process was, or why he wasn't talking, so he had been wary to let him alone in the house. He could only put off work for so long, however, before he finally had to take a gamble and trust that Aspen wouldn't run away again while he was out making money. He had no where else to go, and at least with him he was sure to be fed and doted on. 

But Aspen had always been a wild card. There was just no telling.

He had spent that whole day of work on edge, dreading the sure possibility that his home would be empty when he returned. When he had gotten there though, some 8 or 9 hours later, Aspen was still where he had left him that morning on the couch. It was like he hadn't even moved, but Gavin could tell he had. He just hadn't gone for the door. It was both a relief and more worry. Relief because he could trust the other somewhat, but worrying because, again, Aspen hadn't done anything.

Gavin focused on the positives though. After the test, he didn't feel the need to be anxious every second of his shift. Aspen would be there when he returned. He didn't try to push the envelope though, and he always came straight home after work, but he felt more confident than he had before and that's what mattered. It made him feel slightly better that he was doing something right at least. Aspen would've left if he hadn't, he was sure.

As such Gavin took it upon his duty to take excellent care of his ex, making the smaller man's favorite meals to entice him to talk or bring out some sort of emotion besides the blankness he was so used to seeing now a days. It didn't work though, and Aspen was still a stubborn, quiet thing that simply existed, even when Gavin pulled his best tricks.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Gavin murmured one evening, sitting on the floor in front of Aspen, head resting on the albino's thigh. He was gently kneading the meat of his calf, soothing and non sexual. The quiet hum of the tv was in the background, but no one was paying attention. "You're so quiet... it scares me."

The vampire glanced upwards and saw Aspen looking down at him, his face unreadable as always. His red eyes were flat and Gavin frowned slightly, reaching up to brush the other's hair back behind his ear and let the light from the lamp on the side table touch his face. 

It illuminated the pale skin that was revealed in a warm glow, but despite the effects, Aspen's eyes were still murky, filled with nothing. Gavin frowned further and lifted his head, fixing his position so that he was kneeling in front of Aspen fully. 

"Aspen..." he tried, wanting the other to say something, or at least show that he wasn't a living husk. Aspen offered nothing for his efforts and Gavin was forced to think. He needed to see something other than the broken man that was in front of him. He wanted his spitfire back, his doting lover, the nurturing mother...

Perhaps... Perhaps he had to play dirty to get it.

"I talked to Damon today." Gavin began, watching his ex's face for something, anything. Aspen didn't respond, so he continued. "He said he missed you... that he wanted to see you again." 

The vampire took the albino's hand in his and kissed his knuckles. "He misses his mommy, Aspen. He sounds so sad. He said he wanted to be back here with you and me and that he wanted us to be a family again..."

There was silence for a bit as Gavin stopped talking, and then a soft choking noise sounded, making Gavin jerk his head up.

Aspen was crying, tears streaking down his face as his lip wobbled and his eyes squeezed themselves shut tightly. Gavin felt his heart jump in both joy and sadness at having made his ex weep, but it was something. It was proof he was still with him. 

Gavin reached up again and took Aspen's face in his hands. "Darling... I know you want them back here again... _I_ want them back here again..." he murmured, Aspen sniffling softly as he wiped the tears away. "I want them back here so badly... But I want you to be happy... Be stable. I want that for us, before we bring them back...." 

"Do you want us to get back together?" he asked, cautious. "I know I said I was mad at you... but I'm not anymore... I miss holding you, and being with you, and having you talk to me..." He removed his hands and grabbed Aspen's arms, pulling him gently to the floor and into his lap. 

"I love you, Aspen... I always have. Even when I was mad... I still loved you." 

There was more silence, Aspen still crying, but his mouth remained stubbornly shut. Gavin grew concerned and he ducked his head to try and get his mate to look at him, to really read him and his emotions. 

"Do you... do you love me?"

Aspen let out a sob and he nodded, his jaw finally unclamping from it's shut position. Gavin waited to hear something, to hear that beautiful voice that he could pick out of a whole nation. Instead, Aspen's lips moved, and he heard air, but there was no voice.

Gavin was terribly confused and he tilted his ex's head up, getting a good look at his tear streaked face and those red eyes. "Your... your voice..." He furrowed his brow in confusion. "What happened?"

Aspen looked at him, eyes earnest, and he shook his head, pressing his fingers to his throat. When he had run away, he'd been caught in storm after storm and it had really taken a toll on him. As a result of the conditions, he'd lost his voice, his body fighting the sicknesses. Gavin had picked him up when his illness had really flared up. He'd gone from hoarse squeaking to not being able to talk at all. It still wasn't back, and it hurt too much to try, so he didn't. That, and he'd been scared to say anything, to ruin Gavin's gracious nature, even when he'd been shaking and lonely.

The vampire watched the movement and the silent message was lost on him. He continued to look puzzled and Aspen had to find some other way to tell him. There was a pen on the table, along with some paper. He got up to get it, but the vampire panicked and he pulled him back down, holding him.

"No!" he said, almost shouting. Aspen looked up at him, scared, and he quickly lowered his pitch, holding Aspen to him as though the other might bolt. "Please don't go.... I... I don't know why you can't talk, but it's okay. I don't care. Just... stay."

The albino didn't fight him, and Gavin for a long time just sat there, holding his lover as though he were the most valuable thing in the world. He didn't expect any affection in return, but he was pleasantly surprised when his mate wrapped his arms around him and hugged him back, face buried into his neck. The vampire felt his emotional dams breaking at the contact and he pressed his nose to the crown of silver hair on his shoulder, shuddering. 

"Aspen... I want us to be better... Please."

The smaller man clenched his fists in the fabric of Gavin's shirt, his grip tightening.


	24. Romance, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Romantic antics and dastardly cliffhangers....

They sat there, holding each other, for what seemed like forever. Gavin was determined to never let space come between him and his mate ever again and Aspen was equal parts just as clingy and overwhelmed with relief that it was okay to love Gavin again. For so long he had been fighting it, pushing it away, that it was intensely comforting to be told that you could let it out and try again.

The vampire rubbed his hands over the prominent bones in Aspen's spine, frowning slightly at the fact that his mate was severely underweight. He'd been feeding him well, but he supposed a week wasn't enough time to see any results. 

He nuzzled the fairer man above his ear, delighting in the way it made Aspen relax. "You're so skinny..." he whispered, concerned. "You weren't eating when you were away, were you?"

A shake of Aspen's head made the vampire nod and he carefully stood, still holding the albino. "Put your legs around my waist." he encouraged, holding Aspen up better once the smaller man helped out a bit. 

He took them to the kitchen and set Aspen down on the counter before he was digging around in the fridge for something to tide Aspen over for a bit. Gavin wasn't sure if he was even hungry but it couldn't hurt to nibble. 

Aspen quietly watched Gavin go through the fridge, curious as to what he was doing. He got his answer when the vampire shoved an apple into his hand.

"I'll buy dinner tonight, but eat this first, ok? As much as you can." His brown eyes were filled with worry. "You need to put weight back on..."

Aspen looked down at the piece of fruit, not sure he really wanted to try and eat it. Not that he didn't like fruit, but he just hadn't been overly hungry as of late. Still, one look at Gavin and he was biting into it anyway, unable to resist the pleading look that was being sent his way.

Juice dribbled down his chin as he bit into the flesh, and he pulled away to catch the run off with his hand, a chunk of wonderfully sweet apple in his mouth. 

His hand was stopped halfway, a grip on his wrist, and he barely had time to register that it was Gavin before the vampire's tongue was making a rather daring move, the pink appendage licking up what was on his chin in a few, not purposefully sensual, strokes. 

Aspen blinked, staring at Gavin with eyes as big as dinner plates. The vampire looked back at him, seeming to be shocked by his own behavior, for soon he quickly pulled away and coughed into his fist. 

"Sorry." he apologized. "Finish eating. I'll clean up a little while you do." 

Gavin then busied himself with dishes while Aspen continued to sit there in a stupor, eating the apple with only half a mind that he was actually doing so. 

____________

Aspen was talking again. 

His voice had returned a few days ago, raw as it was, but Gavin had been delighted none the less. They could finally share a conversation again and that was exciting in and of itself. He wanted to know everything that was on his mate's mind. If he did, he figured he'd be able to woo him better and get their relationship back to where it had been when things had been good.

But, excited as he was, Aspen was still very much a wild card to Gavin. The vampire didn't want to be foolish and assume that his ex would allow him to just woo him like he had done before. Things had happened and he had to take that into consideration. 

It was only sensible. Both he and Aspen were different people now and their past experiences of getting hurt were going to be crucial elements to how well they could co exist. Some things had been said and some actions had happened that couldn't be overlooked. It would take a lot of work to achieve what, Gavin was sure, before it could be called true balance.

So he decided it was better to take his time rather than rush into it. Aspen wasn't going anywhere soon. He could take it slow and really charm his mate.

He started with a simple set of flowers. 

They weren't expensive, and some of them weren't as beautiful as the ones you saw in store displays, but they were perfect for his needs. 

Aspen's favorite flowers were lilacs. Gavin had found a few and had put them together for his mate. When he came home, he presented them to the smaller man.

Aspen didn't recognize the flowers at first but when he did his eyes got a little wider and he gestured to himself, silently inquiring as to if Gavin really wanted to give them to him. 

"Yes. They're for you..." Gavin reassured, holding the purple buds out to Aspen. He waited, his anxiety rising every second Aspen didn't immediately reach out and grab them.

The albino glanced at the flowers, debating, and then hesitantly took them. He pressed his nose to the soft petals and hummed quietly at the scent that greeted him. It made him smile and he held the flowers close to him.

"Thank you...." he croaked, voice cracking and raw. He smiled at Gavin again and the vampire himself had to remember to keep himself grounded. Thank you's from Aspen were a rare commodity nowadays. He would hold on to this one as if it were treasure. 

"You're welcome." he replied, a bit breathless. 

But it wasn't just Gavin trying to get back into the other's good graces. Aspen was trying too, and he did it by a way of keeping the house clean and cooking. 

"What's all this?" Gavin asked one day as he entered his home, the smells wafting from the kitchen surprising in of themselves. He hardly had time or patience to cook, so his kitchen was more or less used to heat up fast food he bought when he could spare the time to even feed himself.

Aspen was puttering about, finishing up as Gavin came in fully and looked at what he had. It wasn't too much, but it was mare than the vampire was used to seeing.

Aspen had taken the groceries he had purchased and had put them to use rather than letting them rot. The vampire had originally purchased a ready made chicken for Aspen to nibble when he wasn't home, but instead it was now intended as a meal to share, sides he didn't remember buying made up beside the oven hot bird. 

"I hope its ok..." Aspen rasped, his voice still fucked six ways to Sunday. He played with his hair nervously.

Gavin was drooling. 

"No, its perfect." He paused, still a hint of disbelief preventing him from digging in. "...Did you really make this for... _us_?"

Aspen nodded shyly. 

"Yeah... I thought it would be better... You barely eat anything..."

The vampire blinked at the concern and a warm feeling bloomed in his chest. 

Aspen cared. 

He actually noticed and cared and acted on his concerns. For a long time Gavin had been convinced his ex was just a heartless man, one who would stomp on you just to hurt you. 

But now he could see that that wasn't the case and the action that should have only meant dinner suddenly became more. 

"Aspen..." Gavin called quietly, the shift in his voice making the other peek up at him through his bangs. He walked around the table setting and crowded the albino into the corner against the counter. He didn't touch him, and he wasn't hostile, but he had a burning question that needed to be answered. 

"Gavin?" Aspen responded, wary of the close proximity. Had he done something wrong? He waited, unable to do much else, not sure if he was going to be punished for his attempt at being romantic.

Instead, he got a nose in his neck and strong arms circling him, pulling him flush up against a taller, harder body. A low voice rumbled in his ear, so soft he had to strain to hear it.

"Will you let me?" Gavin whispered, grip tightening only slightly. "Will you let me make love to you?"

The albino was dumbstruck.

He knew Gavin still liked him, obviously still cared about him greatly despite their fall outs, but he hadn't been expecting him to want to go that far so soon. True, it had been months since they had last done any thing, but still... 

Was Gavin really being sincere?

Aspen pulled away slightly to see, to read Gavin's eyes for any tells that would suggest otherwise. Those chocolate depths only showed him that the vampire was completely serious and it was up to him to decide if they continued or not. 

He bit his lip. On one hand, he really wanted too. For so long he'd been craving closeness, to be wanted. He'd been shown that he wasn't all he thought he could be. He wasn't impervious to being hurt, and he didn't like being left alone or given a taste of his medicine. But, on the other, he didn't want to be played. Gavin could change his mind later, and that would hurt him worse than being told no in the beginning. 

He didn't need more false hope.

"...Do you mean it?" Aspen asked, so softly he was hoping Gavin wouldn't catch it. Of course, the slight tightening of Gavin's grip told him otherwise and he raised his chin a bit higher, breathing in the courage to be louder. "You aren't going to change your mind?"

Gavin looked down at him, his stare and grip unwavering. He nodded his head, confident, and swooped down to steal another kiss. The action made Aspen gasp slightly and the vampire purred, lifting the albino up.

"Absolutely." he rumbled, his tone more possessive. He nipped at Aspen's neck. "Only you."

Aspen shuddered with those words as Gavin carried them back to his bedroom, where the door was promptly shut over and the two adults were left with only each other and an empty bed.


	25. Mending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are looking up...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short. Quick. Longer chapter will be uploaded soon.

Gavin had treated Aspen to a wonderful session and, by the end of it, the albino was positive he had died and gone to heaven.

All the stress and worry he had been under was gone as he laid there, naked, his mate still between his legs and draped over him after having nodded off after their post sex makeout session.

Aspen found he couldn't stop the soft smile from forming on his face at the fact and he stroked his mate's hair, closing his eyes in bliss as Gavin snored softly.

They could work this out. They really could. He and Gavin could be what they used to be and Gavin still loved him, even after all their shit. 

It was perfect.

He made a happy noise, stirring Gavin from his sleep. The vampire grunted and lifted himself up onto his arms, blinking blearily down at his mate and their point of joining. 

"Sorry..." he murmured, still half asleep. It was pretty rude to fall asleep on your partner while making out, dick still inside. 

He moved to pull out but Aspen stopped him, pulling him back down to kiss. 

"It's fine." Aspen rasped. "I don't care."

He also didn't care that a condom hadn't been used. Sure, it meant he was at risk for getting knocked up again, but he was so happy that they were back together that he didn't care. If they had another baby then they'd manage. They'd be a happy family and that's what mattered. 

Aspen nuzzled Gavin as the sleepy man slowly joined him in the world of the living. He rubbed his shoulders and kissed Gavin slowly when he was sure the other was more alert.

Gavin rumbled lowly, pleased and surprised by Aspen's behavior.

"You haven't kissed me like that in years..." Gavin whispered, quickly stealing more kisses before Aspen could answer. The albino blushed with shame.

"I'm sor-!" 

Aspen was cut off mid sentence, Gavin kissing him. When they pulled away the albino was nearly breathless and the vampire was busy nipping at his collar. 

"Don't." he warned, gentle. "It's in the past. This is our now. Let's make the best of it, yeah?"

Aspen nodded, a look that Gavin couldn't quite place crossing his face before it smoothed over.

They smooched one last time before parting slowly, as though both were afraid that whatever they had woken up to was but a fragile facade. It took them a minute to get adjusted to the lack of skin on skin contact, but one the world hadn't come crashing down on them at the first second of being separated, they relaxed.

"I've missed this," Gavin murmured, Aspen's head turning. 

"Missed what?"

"Waking up next to you."

Gavin glanced at his mate, a soft smile on his lips. Aspen's face twisted, looking like he might cry for a second, before he reached over and put his arms over Gavin's shoulders, pulling him closer. 

Lithe arms enveloped the broader vampire in a bear hug of sorts, the Albino squeezing him firmly and pressing his forehead to his clavicle.

"Me too," was the answering whisper. "Me too..."


End file.
